Forgiving Choice

“You alright, Psiksi?”

Things had been weird over the last few days. The strange hormone toxicity, which the local Ksithans had called “Love Clouds”, had finally passed over the city of Palaestra. There were still plenty of pockets where things were a bit hectic and horny, but most of the city was fine.

“Not really…” Psiksi muttered. He had returned home early, but he had also left home early. Before Kass had woken up even.

“Do you want to talk? You look like you want to talk. Like, really badly. Where did you go today anyway?”

“I don’t want to talk…” Psiksi’s teeth were bared. He was embarrassed and angry.

“You need to talk…” Kass frowned. “Is it something I did? Have I hurt you in some way? I feel like I have. You left this morning without say-”

“KASS!” Psiksi suddenly snapped. “Please! Just… Don’t ask me so many damn questions. I went to the family clinic this morning. I went to get an abortion.”

Kass’s face dropped. “Oh. That’s completely understandable. Clearly I wasn’t careful enough, even though I used protection.”

“I’m not angry at you.”

“You seem angry at me…” Kass sighed. “I am sorry. When did you find out?”

“This morning…” Psiksi seemed to calm down a bit. “Threw up, thought it was from drinking, decided to do a test, came out positive, so I went to the clinic first thing. Was busy there. They gave me a checkup, replaced my coil even though it should have been working in the first place, gave me some hormone tablets and sent me home. I spent the afternoon in a cafe feeling sorry for myself.”

“Oh…” Kass had little to add. “I suppose…”

“You should get yourself checked.”

Kass’s expression changed to one of confusion. “You… You think?”

“I have a coil and still…” Psiksi seemed to choke on his words. “I still got… hit.”

“I have one too. I mean, neither of us want kids, do we? I’ve never wanted kids and you always said you didn’t want kids either because you go adventuring too much and all that, wouldn’t be fair on a young one…” Kass knew he was rambling on. He hadn’t felt any nausea or anything like that, he was pretty cure he was fine, but he would probably check later. The more Kass spoke though, the more Psiksi shrank in his seat. “Uh, Psiksi, am I… bothering you?”

“Sorry…”

Kass got up and led Psiksi to the sofa, sitting him down. “Why are you apologising?”

“I’m all emotional…” Psiksi sighed, twiddling his thumbs. “It’s a nothing thing, it’s not something that should bother me… but it does…” Tears began to trickle down Psiksi’s face.

With a small smile, Kass wrapped his arms around Psiksi, holding him tightly. “It’s alright. You’ve had a tough day. And you’re probably dealing with messed up hormones. You can cry. You should cry, if you feel you need to.”

Psiksi remained frigid at first, but slowly accepted Kass, hugging him back. “I feel like I’ve done something wrong…”

“You’ve done nothing wrong, Psiksi. You did what you believed was right for yourself.” Kass let go of Psiksi briefly, holding him and looking into Psiksi’s tired, yellow eyes. “You’re going to feel conflicted for the next few days, but answer me this: did you want kids? Did you want to have a kid, now, at this point in your life?”

“No.”

“Exactly. You did what was best for you.”

Psiksi sighed, then let go of Kass. “I still feel… wrong.”

“That’s just the hormones.”

“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”

Kass nodded, then patted Psiksi on the shoulder. “Whatever plans you have for tomorrow, cancel them. You need a day off, and I’m going to cook you some dinner.”

Psiksi watched as his partner got up and headed into the kitchen, playfully fumbling with cutlery and saucepans, a small smile creeping across his face.

“Thank you, Kass…”