Partial Assholiness

While the Thantir Two had plenty of self-repairing facilities, repairing windows wasn’t really one of them. Sure, the ship could generate new panes of glass, but it couldn’t reinstall them. That was why Arkay was currently helping Litvir reseal sheets of glass in the observatory. The glass panels had been put back in place, but the edges needed to be sealed in, using a specially mixed concoction. As they worked, however, Litvir noticed that something was off about Arkay. He seemed like he constantly wanted to say something, but always remained silent.

As the two Decay Lords finished the last window though, Litvir decided to address the silence in the room.

“You have been meaning to say something for ages.”

“You can tell?” Arkay frowned, applying more sealant to the frame. He then squirted some soapy liquid on the seal, checking for any bubbles. When none formed, he moved on to the next section.

Litvir leaned back, letting Arkay finish his work. “You keep on taking long, deep breaths, opening your mouth and then not saying anything. Yes, I think you have something you need to get off your little, armoured chest.”

“I guess…” Arkay eventually admitted, somewhat distracted by the last panel. A second helping of sealant though finished the job. “Thing is, I think I’ve been a real asshole lately and I’m angry at myself for it.”

“Because you have been an asshole lately…” Litvir replied without skipping a beat. “Glad you have noticed yourself though. These things can be hard to miss. The question is, why are you acting like an asshole?”

Arkay seemed to flinch slightly. It was almost as if he hadn’t expected Litvir to be so honest. But after a moment of composure, he straightened himself out and started talking. “To be honest? It’s the same old piss. I’m tired and upset and hungry and weirdly horny and I hate myself because of it all.”

Litvir stared at Arkay, then shrugged. “You just need to learn to not give a fuck occasionally. Go stuff your face and rub one out. Who cares what everyone else thinks?”

“I care a lot. These things get under my skin. And I hate that I’m so… useless.”

With a tut, Litvir wandered over to the nearest seat and sat himself down, crossing his arms. “You? Useless? You are a little bitch but you are certainly not useless.”

“I guess…” Arkay frowned. “But I don’t know how to fix any of this. And I could just go and eat a ton and drink and all that but I feel guilty afterwards.”

“Why?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Litvir grunted and pointed down the hall. “You do not think Galyn does not go to bed and play with himself, while probably thinking about Retvik?”

“Uh…”

“Of course he does. Particularly about Retvik. I am sure most beings look at Retvik and wonder if he is single. And Retvik goes to bed most nights and plays with himself, satisfied that everyone likes him…” Litvir trailed off, clearly lost in his own thoughts about Retvik, before swiftly returning back to the conversation. “I will be blunt with you, Arkay, I do think your parents, family, whatever, they messed you up badly. But you understand that you have problems. We just need to work on fixing them.”

“You… don’t think I’m an asshole?” Arkay asked.

Litvir smiled. “You are only an asshole sometimes. Same way I am only an asshole most of the time.”

“I guess…”

Still smiling, Litvir got up and patted Arkay on the shoulder. “Come on. Let us go get some food. Since we have finished our job…”