Merasmus is STILL in debt. Seriously, when will he learn to stop buying all those artifacts? What does he even need them for? It's not like any of his plans ever work. Anyway, instead of giving you a new boss, or giving you the Pyro update you all wanted, here's Scream Fortress 8, which looks a lot like Scream Fortress 7. Is it a coincidence? Yes. Is there a skeleton behind you? YES! Not really. Made you look.

The Gargoyle Case is so last year, but we didn't get a chance to update the crate or anything. This year's cosmetics are more plentiful, but I'm not sure Engineer needed a new poncho cosmetic. Not that it matters, because Pyro is terrifying everyone as always! Oh, and watch out for Medic. He's just too damn sexy these days.

Created by the brilliant map-making ghouls, goblins and sexy Ghostbusters of the TF2 community! Remember, mapmakers share in the revenue of case items! Oh, and map stamps and filters. They're a thing too.
The Scream Fortress Gargoyle in your inventory will summon the dark spirit of Merasmus from the maps we didn't release this year. Merasmus will answer his cell (if he has enough bars) and assign you an eldritch Merasmission in one of TF’s past Halloween modes! SPOOKY! Fulfilling Merasmissions and reaping souls for his gargoyle will earn you items from past Halloweens and a chance at the new Creepy Crawly Case! Assuming your gargoyle does his job properly. And keep an eye out for spawning Gargoyles while playing—if you find them in time, you can earn extra souls towards your Merasmission total!
Your Scream Fortress Gargoyle keeps track of your progress on active Merasmissions, levels up as you complete them, and shows off your level to other players on the scoreboard. But most people got gold last year anyway, didn't they?
It's those damn carts again. No one liked them in Carnival of Doom, but it's an easy way to make money off people and didn't require much work from us, so eh...
It's like, a staff or something. I don't know. Everyone will probably buy the cart taunt anyway, so sorry, person who made this taunt. It's actually pretty cool when you look at it.
Re-introducing Mannpower Mode, out of Beta for a year with new powerups and a purpose built map. So fire up the game, have some fun grappling around, and let us know what you think! Because we still haven't tested this.
Does the same thing as last year. Pisses off Medics so damn much.
Does the same as last year. Please don't give it to Heavies or Soldiers or Demomen. Or anyone really. It's a stupid powerup.
I still don't know how to use this power up. Honestly don't know why we bothered with this game mode.

This is clearly a spoof. Made by someone from SPUF, who writes a blog called the Daily SPUF, although this is clearly a website called I'm not affiliated with Valve in any way. Just thought I'd clarify that.