“Thanks for the ride, mate!” Nyssi smiled as Kuta pulled her through the shadow in Retvik’s bedroom. She’d been somewhat stuck at her place at the Torn Islet, mostly because an angry space goddess had teleported everyone home, but Nyssi’s truck had been left outside, parked in front of Retvik’s nice house.
“You are welcome…” Kuta sighed back. “Are you leaving straight away?”
“Well, I don’t need to. Phovos gave us all some time off because of what happened… Hang on, don’t you have work or something? It’s Monday after all!”
Kuta led Nyssi downstairs, where most of the group were just sitting around. However, Nyssi immediately noticed something.
“Where’s Tenuk?”
“At the Calestia space port,” Retvik muttered, looking utterly exhausted. “The Lady of Light teleported us all ‘home’. In Tenuk’s case, that meant teleporting him back to his home in the Lord King’s massive castle thing.”
“Oh fuck… Is… is my favourite fluffy fox boy okay?”
Retvik nodded. “He is, thankfully. I have been messaging him, he is about to get on his first flight.”
“What about his dad?” Nyssi asked.
“Apparently they… sorted something out…” Retvik shrugged. “Tenuk said he wishes to discuss it all in person though when he gets home though, since he says it is complicated…”
Nyssi plonked herself down next to Retvik and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “I’m sure Tenuk’s fine. He’s a big boy. Older than us. But not as old as Kuta.”
“I am not that old!” Kuta protested. “You are all just young, I am just over middle-aged!”
“Don’t fret too much, mate!” Nyssi continued to be cheerful. She could sense that everyone was on edge and wanted to lighten the mood. Well, Talok was fine, she was busy eating pizza and occasionally trying to lick the coffee table for some reason, but Retvik’s quieter voice and the fact that Kayel was curled up, not talking and playing on some sort of strange device certainly indicated that things weren’t right. “I mean, Kuta, you look younger than Retvik, and Retvik is officially the Best Rethan Ever.”
“I am not…” Retvik tutted.
“Retty, you fucking are. You got the Triumphant Crown, you’re part of a famous bloodline, you’re part of the Legion of Heroes thingy, you helped save the universe and you’re as immortal as your cute little boyfriend, it doesn’t get much better than that.”
Retvik frowned some more, then relented. He didn’t want to argue. Instead, Retvik helped himself to some pizza. Somehow, despite most of the pizza kinda being ruined by Thantophor blood, they still had plenty left. Talok had tried to eat some of the ruined pizza, but Kayel took it away from her and was concerned that maybe Talok had an addiction until he accidentally tasted some himself. Turned out, Talok was right, death god blood did taste like sour sherbert.
Nyssi also grabbed herself some pizza too. “So, Kuta, you haven’t disappeared off back to work like you always do! Ain’t you, like, a busy general or something?”
Kuta almost growled, but quickly changed their tune. “I am on forced medical leave right now. I return to my duties on the 26th.”
“Ah, neat. You should take Retvik out for dinner or something!”
“Fancy food! Mister Kuta, take mister Retvik for fancy food!” Talok chirped excitedly. “Maybe not pizza though.”
“Also you two need to fuck more!” Nyssi giggled. “You have the chance to do so.”
“That is inappropriate, Nyssi!” Retvik almost shouted, with a hint of embarrassment.
“Maybe, but it’s true. Since you two live apart mostly, you need to make the most of your time together. And we’ll all get out of your, uh… I was going to say “tendrils”, then I was going to say “hair”, but I guess… we’ll get out of your armour for a bit? Right, you two?”
Talok nodded. Kayel hadn’t been paying attention but nodded anyway.
“She does have a point, Retvik…” Kuta muttered. “We ought to spend more time together. As much as possible, considering what we have gone through lately. But while we are on the subject of being embarrassed, Kayel, may I ask you a question?”
At the mention of his name Kayel actually looked up. “Sorry, I’m… kinda distracted and depressed right now… what’s up?”
“Um… I am looking for… something for the bedroom. I cannot find them in the Rethan stores I have looked in and I do not know what they are called to look them up online, nor have I really had the chance or access to secure private olanet connections as of late…”
Kayel tilted his head to one side. “Toys or protection?”
“Protection.”
“Male or female?”
“Male…” Kuta stuttered.
Nyssi snorted. “You’re a highly ranked General, Kuta, and you are being awkward about buying condoms?”
“Leave them alone!” Kayel snapped a finger at Nyssi. Well, he tried to, but his low number of fingers didn’t allow him to do that, so he just wagged his finger instead. “Rethans are rather prudish and Kuta’s of an older generation. They want information, they are seeking information to better their sex life, that’s nothing to be ashamed of!” Kayel tuned back to Kuta. “Are you looking for a certain type of condom?”
Kuta very quickly deflated. “This is so embarrassing.”
“It’s not. Sex is perfectly natural, and it’s good that you want to learn more. I ain’t gonna let you use your telepathy, but do you want to whisper to me what you are looking for?”
Kuta frowned, then nodded and got up. Kayel sat up straight, then smiled as Kuta quietly told him what they were seeking.
“I am not being weird, am I?” Kuta shyly asked.
“Oh, no, not at all. That’s a Skyan brand of condoms, there’s a pharmacy down the road from my place that sells them, do you want me to get you a pack?”
“I… I would like that. I will of course pay you back, since a Rethan walking into a Skyan pharmacy would look weird.”
This is REALLY embarrassing!” Retvik crossed his arms and grunted. “I do not want you all knowing what we do when we play.”
“Retty, we already know you and Kuta have sex! Same way we know when Kayel sneaks off to screw around with Psiksi. And I’ve totally accepted dates from fans just to sleep with them.” Nyssi smiled. “Like Kayel said, it’s perfectly normal. As the Allbirther desires.”
Kayel nodded in agreement. “Nyssi’s right. And, honestly? I can see why Kuta would want that brand. They’re good condoms. You’ll enjoy them.”
Talok suddenly raised her hand. “I have a question!”
“Sure, what is it, girl?”
“What is a condom?”
Nyssi glanced at Talok, but, again, Kayel tutted at her. “Come on, now, Nyssi. You know Vohra see sex only as a way to produce more Vohra… Talok, a condom is a rubbery device, generally made out of latex, that is used to cover the penis during sexual intercourse, as a form of protection against unwanted pregnancies.”
Talok thought to herself for a moment. “But I thought sex was for making babies?”
“For non-Vohra, sex is also a pleasurable act of intimacy, to show that two people love each other. Or, well to occasionally just enjoy.”
“Sex is… enjoyable?”
Kayel nodded. “Well, it is for a lot of us.”
“Oh…” Talok clicked, with a hint of sadness. “That is not a thing us Vohra get. Sex is for adults. I am not technically an adult.”
“How old are you, Talok?” Nyssi asked.
Again, Talok thought to herself. “Um… I am 42 years old. Am old for a Vohra. Normal for a Vahla though.”
Everyone in the room blinked.
“You are… older than me and Nyssi?”
“Yes. Well. No. Technically older. When I reach 50, I die and turn into an egg again. Will be fourth time in 8 years from now. I guess really I am 192 years old. Older than mister Kuta… Is… lonely. All dead and gone.”
Talok seemed rather upset by this. Kuta telepathically picked up on Talok’s sadness, lifted her up and hugged her.
“It is alright, Talok!” Kuta smiled reassuringly. “We are all forgotten by time here. You will no longer be alone, as we will be ageless alongside you.”
“Does that mean that best friend Tenuk will not get old too?”
“Yes.”
Talok hesitated, then smiled back. “That is good. We will see Tenuk again soon. I hope we will see mister Arkay again soon too…”