Arkay was in a bit of a bad mood. Not only did he have to deal with the fallout of an exploding star, but Sini had requested that he fetch a specific dagger, and Arkay had returned to his apartment to find that it had been trashed, again, by the Whenvern. Now he was making his way back to the centre of the universe, just as a second star had completely vanished without warning. Thankfully, the only casualties were two lifeless dwarf planets, which had drifted off on their own, but Arkay still had to waste time redirecting those planets so they wouldn’t crash into anything.
Now, the Thantophor was arriving at the centre of the universe, standing outside the grand castle, waiting for Sini to let him in. The password he’d been given had been changed literally two minutes ago and Arkay hadn’t had the time to learn it yet.
“So, who’s the lucky guy?”
Sini was acting rather playfully, but it was clear she was hiding some nervousness.
“What do you mean?” Arkay hissed.
“The mortal you went on a date with.”
“How do you know about that?”
The Allbirther smiled weakly, tapping a watch on her wrist. “Been tracking you lately, at Epani’s request. You zipped back to the main Rethan home world a few too many times over the last few days. Went to Phos, stopped by a nice cafe. Was it that vampiric prick little the Rethans asked to spy on your new friends?”
Arkay sighed. “Yeah…”
Sini smiled some more, putting an arm around Arkay as she led him inside. “He’s cute. Pretty sure I fucked something up with him, but you two would make a good couple. You need more friends, even if Epani thinks otherwise. Speaking of which…”
The two deities wandered down the main hallway, which opened up into what was normally a grand throne room. However the whole castle had been completely converted into some sort of containment facility.
“What the actual fuck?”
Arkay felt almost physically repulsed by what he was seeing. The Panelix was floating in the middle of the room, with chains holding her in place, while tubes buried themselves deep into Epani’s veins, pumping her full of a myriad of different fluids. A belt was tied around Epani’s maw, stopping her from speaking. But that wasn’t the worse of it. A purple, ghastly glow emanated from Epani’s eyes and drifted across her body, while a green glow drifted from the wound in her chest, mingling and almost fighting with the purple glow.
“Sini, what the fuck? When did all this happen?”
“About five minutes before you got here!” Sini replied rather nonchalantly. “It’s why I asked you to bring your fancy dagger. I think Epani’s a tiny bit ill.”
“A TINY BIT? Sini, this is fucking madness!” Arkay immediately drew his anti-corruption blade and floated up to Epani. But as he inspected her, he realized there wasn’t really any visible corruption for him to cut out.
“It’s not corruption. Not Voidborn shit as well, because Epani and I are immune to that sort of stuff. Don’t think it’s a hijacking either since that only affects beings that serve Life Goddesses. I’ll be honest though, I’m kinda new to being a Life Goddess, so I don’t really know what sort of illnesses we can get.”
Rather abruptly, the belt around Epani’s maw snapped, and she growled and hissed, attempting to bite Arkay. Arkay quickly floated backwards, away from the rows of silver teeth, while Sini summoned a new, stronger metal band to keep Epani’s jaws shut.
“That’s fucking terrifying.”
“How many times are you going to say the word ‘fuck’, little brother?” Sini tutted as she patted Epani on the head. As she did so, she left some of her sedative slime across Epani’s face, forcing the Panelix to calm down.
“As many fucking times as I fucking need to, until we work out what the fuck is wrong with Epani!” Arkay hissed back.
“Dear, you’re overdoing it a little.”
Arkay hesitated, then apologised. “Sorry. Seeing Epani like this is… weird. I feel weird just being here.”
“Yep. That’s Epani doing that. She’s making literally everyone feel weird and confused. Keeping Epani sedated is keeping the universe calm but we’re getting the brunt of it because we’re all empaths. It’s partially why Kairos keeps on screwing around with your stuff, since he’s torn between sorrow, mourning and whatever is wrong with Epani.”
Arkay frowned, then shook his head, an attempt to clear his thoughts. “So, uh, what do we do? Because, despite being the Lord of Entropy and having a degree, I ain’t a doctor, and I certainly ain’t a doctor for deities. And you don’t have a PHD or anything either.”
Sini paused, then glanced at Arkay. “You have a degree?”
“Every time I create a mortal persona for myself, I make sure they are educated. Currently, I am Aray Aspidon, BSc.”
“That’s a stupid name.”
“Skyavok names are stupid. And, in all honest, my original mortal name is stupid, but I prefer it over being called Arkadin, since that’s the name Kinisis gave me. Speaking of which, you sure this isn’t Kinisis somehow corrupting Epani and possessing her?”
Sini tutted again. “It’s not Kinisis. This doesn’t match the traces left over from the spear Kinisis used to stab Epani, nor does it match the Corruption you pulled from Kairos. The good news is that I’m working on a vaccine against Kinisis’s strain of Corruption, and that should be ready soon. But this? I’m kinda stumped. Which is kinda why I brought you here.”
“Sini, you know that, both medically and cosmologically speaking, I’m a fucking idiot-”
“Again with the curse words, dear.”
“I’m the God of Death, I’m allowed to be vulgar…” Arkay sighed and calmed himself down a bit. “Either way, this really isn’t my area of expertise, I don’t know how I can help.”
Sini didn’t seem too bothered. “I was actually going to ask, do you know how Kinisis made you into a deity?”
Arkay hesitated, stuttering nervously. “It’s… not… something I… like to think about.”
“Do you know though?”
“Yes, but I don’t get what that has to do with this.”
“I was just wondering, you’re Life Goddess-y as well, you knew about Kinisis more than Epani and I did, I feel like Kinisis did SOMETHING to Epani to make her ill like this. Or maybe it’s just a thing that can only happen to Life Goddesses and not standard deities like Kairos.”
Arkay grunted. “I’m a standard deity.”
“You’re anything but standard, dear!” Sini smiled. “Either way, Kairos has proven himself to be useless, but there are two things you can assist me with. Firstly, Epani seems to be incredibly hungry. I know you normally dispose of nuclear and solar waste via your standard entropic decay, but I’d like it if you could instead collect that waste and bring it here, so I can feed Epani, that would help keep her calm and stop her from eating suns.”
“That’s not a problem, I can do that.”
“Good…” Sini continued to smile, but not as strongly. “Secondly, I have found a couple of Kinisis’s diaries among all the books and stuff Epani has about being a Life Goddess. I would read them myself, but I know Kinisis did some… horrible things to you, and I thought you probably don’t want me knowing the specifics. But if anyone knew the specific ins and outs of being a Life Goddess, especially things like illnesses, it would have been Kinisis, who, for a long time, was THE major Life Goddess around these parts…”
Arkay closed his eyes, fidgeting awkwardly, then sighed. “I… I can do that…”
Sini patted Arkay delicately on the shoulder, then pulled him in for a hug, before letting go.
“Thank you, Arkay…” Sini hesitated, then hugged Arkay again. “I’m sorry that Epani’s been a bitch to you lately. You’ve done a lot for us, you deserve better.”
“No worries, Sini…” Arkay whispered, hugging Sini back, before breaking free from her grasp. As he’d hugged Sini, he’d caught a glimpse of Epani, who had been silently watching them both and clearly didn’t approve of what she was seeing and hearing.
With a snap of her fingers, the Allbirther summoned a large box of books, which she then handed to the Thantophor. Arkay glanced into the box then grunted, before teleporting away via the nearest shadow, clearly wanting to get started on the tasks Sini had given him as soon as possible. With Arkay out of the way, Sini then turned her attention back to Epani.
“I know what you’re thinking, sister, but you know I’m right. You’re ill, you’re stressed and you’re not thinking straight. And I’ve said it before, Arkay is the best death god one could ever wish for. So don’t go and make his existence worse.”
Epani hissed, telepathically projecting her anger. Sini though just ignored her, and went back to work, silently hoping that whatever was infecting Epani wasn’t infectious.