The Thantophor was feeling pretty sorry for himself. He was currently sitting in a plastic box, unable to speak, mostly because he’d just had his tongue, lungs and throat cut out in an attempt to curb the corruption that was in his body. Technically, the operation had been a success, there were only trace amounts of corruption left inside him, but those traces had managed to get into Arkay’s heart, forming a small lump just above the aorta. Unlike the rest of Arkay’s internal organs, Arkay kinda needed his heart, it was what kept him planted firmly in this plane of existence, binding him to the universe.
In the mean time, Sini and Epani had been arguing over him. Sini was certain that she could remove the dark tumour, that the procedure wasn’t even that complicated, she had done it before, on herself of all beings. After all, Sini was the Goddess of Life, the Allbirther, and she knew her way around the body better than anyone else.
Epani on the other hand was adamant that Arkay be ‘incinerated and recreated’. By that, Epani meant brutally killing Arkay and making a whole new death god. They’d already gone through the seven steps that Sini had laid out in order to deal with Arkay being corrupted, and the fact that they’d reached the seventh step and there were still traces of corruption inside him had made Epani a little too angry. While she’d rather enjoyed watching Arkay essentially be tortured while Sini tried to remove the corruption, now that they’d run out of options, the Lady of the Deep was getting a little too aggressive.
Thankfully, hopefully, a new voice of reason appeared. The Whenvern teleported into view, holding a familiar object. Alongside him though were five mortals, all of whom Arkay recognized.
“Kairos, thank goodness, maybe you can talk some damn sense into Epani!” Sini flailed her arms in frustration. “There’s one last thing I want to try and Epani wants to go straight to the final, desperate step!”
“We have done all we can. It has not been enough. We kill him now, cut our losses and make a new deity…” Epani paused, then smiled, eyeing one of the mortals. “I see you brought the subject I chose to replace Arkay.”
Epani’s glee was interrupted by a sharp bolt of mental static, followed by a harsh telepathic message.
“How fucking dare you!” Arkay bashed at the wall of his plastic cell, causing it to crack slightly. Each time he attacked the walls, the entire facility shook, and everyone present felt their stomachs turn. “I thought you were going to make a new god, not force a poor mortal to take my place! And not HER of all beings! Leave Phovos alone! Why the fuck did you bring all my friends here anyway?”
The five mortals all glanced at each other.
“The Raptor’s name is Phovos?” Nyssi whispered. “Isn’t that a boy’s name?”
“I dunno, I think it sounds pretty cool…” Kayel admitted. “Then again us Skyans just name ourselves after letters, so I can’t really comment.”
The Whenvern stepped forward. With a flick of his tail, the cracks of Arkay’s prison resealed themselves, and the unease in everyone’s stomachs settled down.
“My fellow deities, I have a potential solution to our predicament, one that doesn’t involve murdering our youngest. It turns out, Arkay has friends from outside this universe, and they have offered their assistance. They have assisted us in the past, during the Before, and I trust they will help us again.”
Sini smiled weakly, but Epani suddenly became incredibly angry, growing in size until she was larger than Kairos. She grabbed the Whenvern by the throat, teeth bared, the lure on her head swinging wildly.
“We do NOT accept help from the outside!”
“Why not?”
“The outside is dangerous. The outside constantly attacks us, it wants us dead! Nothing out there is trustworthy! And I do not want Arkay getting any ideas!”
“What do you mean by that?” Arkay telepathically asked, his vocal chords taking a little too long to regrow. “Not everything outside of this universe is evil, Epani.”
The Panelix hissed, then whistled. Both Arkay and the five mortals found themselves teleported away, so the other deities could discuss things privately.
“We cannot let Arkay remember the Before, lest he desires to leave this universe behind…” Epani lowered her voice and reduced her size, taking a less aggressive stance.
“You just wanted to fucking kill him!” Sini gasped, feeling way too flustered. “What is going on, Epani? Why are you like this? You’ve been acting weird ever since that corruption came by, using the skin of the old Allmaker!”
“We had to unlock some of Arkay’s memories in order for him to protect us from the corruption. But the more we give him, the more he will remember that he had a life before this universe, one where he wasn’t chained to our existence. If he remembers all that, he will become too powerful for us to control.”
“Epani, you have no faith in Arkay!” Kairos sighed. “He has proven over and over that he cares about this universe as much as we do. Perhaps more so. You forget that, when we brought him back to be our death god, he accepted his duties willingly. Arkay is kind and humble, he does his duties well and I do not want to lose him.”
“Plus, we’ve spent millennia trying to make sure Arkay doesn’t get too powerful, while keeping him sane and happy. Condemning him to death is going to undo all of that!” Sini hissed. “Like any living being, if you threaten him with death, he will do anything to stay alive, and that will most likely involve him breaking free from his conditioning and lashing out at us…” Sini turned to Kairos. “These exouniversal beings, you know them, right?”
“Yes, I spent time with them before we built this universe.”
“Can we trust them?” Sini asked. “I mean, you seem to. But can Epani and I trust them? After all, Epani does have a point, most things out there do want to kill or eat our universe.”
The Whenvern flicked his tail from side to side. “Most things, yes. Corruption certainly. Voidborn entities of course. But Decay Lords are just former deities that no longer live in universes, for whatever reason. And should they enter our universe, your and Epani’s protective shields mean that, just like Voidborns, they automatically lose all their power, since they become bound to our rules and not their own. That being said, the associates we will be meeting with, they are positively harmless and in fact specialize in the removal of godly infections.”
“Well!” Sini perked up. “I’m sold! Let them deal with Arkay, save me putting myself at any further risk. If they can’t save him, then we go with Epani’s stupid plan. Does that sound fair?”
Epani growled, but eventually relented. “Fine. But these… associates, they are to remove the corruption and nothing else. I do not want them tampering with my… our property.”
“Sister, you are starting to sound like Kinisis!” Sini tutted. “You need to calm the fuck down, or I’m going to start unravelling Arkay’s bonds in order to MAKE you calm down.”
Kairos raised his wings, and the air around them cooled ominously. “Epani, Sini, we all need to calm down. We have a plan, we need to act on it. For everyone’s sake.”
Flicking his tail again, Kairos teleported the three deities into the room where Arkay and his mortal friends were waiting.
“Oh, hey guys!” Arkay was talking again, and, amazingly, he was still in his plastic cage. Clearly he understood the seriousness of the situation. “We were just discussing the secrets of the universe and how Epani is a bitch. Have you guys decided whether you’re going to throw me into the nearest star or not?”
Kairos shook his head. “Don’t worry, we won’t be incinerating you today. We have decided to accept the exouniversal help that has been offered to us. I assume your little friends informed you about that?”
Arkay smiled a little. “Yeah. I’m not exactly glad that they broke into my apartment, but I suppose at least they seem to care and only did so because they were worried about me. Unlike Epani.”
Epani was visually getting angry again, but Sini tapped her on the shoulder, leaving a small trail of sedating slime and a mental suggestion to calm down, since Arkay was right in a way.
“Alright… time to get everything sorted out…” Kairos made an odd, clicking sound, then pointed at the tallest mortal of the group. “You, Rethavok, Retvik Rethianos, you are coming with me and Arkay. The rest of you will stay here with Sini-”
“Oh gods she’s not going to gas us and torture us again?” Tenuk squeaked.
“No, no, I’ve learned my lesson!” Sini smiled reassuringly, before letting Kairos continue.
“As I was saying, you four mortals will stay with Sini and Epani. I will make contact with these beings and make sure they do not do anything bad to Arkay. The Rethavok is coming for moral support. We will report back as soon as we have anything to report. Understood?”
Everyone in the room nodded. Satisfied, Kairos picked up the plastic canister containing Arkay, then took Retvik by the arm and led them both through a shimmering portal. The portal quickly snapped shut.
After a moment of awkward silence, Sini perked up. “So, who’s hungry? Let’s all go get something to eat. You mortals are about to have the best meal you’ve had in years!”