“Hey, little brother, how was your nap?”
Arkay rubbed his eyes as he slowly came to. He wasn’t supposed to have woken up. While death wasn’t an option for Death Himself, Arkay had planned to put himself in a coma, letting his godly duties be run subconsciously, while he slept away the millennia, cold and alone. The other gods wanted him to be a slave. He wanted freedom, he didn’t want his mind and memories ripped away from him yet again. That was what Epani was going to do. She was going to steal Arkay’s mind, erase his memories once more. But painfully. And, sick and tired of it all, Arkay was going to let her, until… something intervened.
That was when Arkay skulked off into the darkness. He ran and hid. Dug a hole deep into the earth, near where he had originally died, clutching a concoction that would seal his mind shut. As far as Arkay was concerned, being in a coma was a compromise. He’d never be free, but being asleep meant he could dream of freedom instead.
But no, here Sini was, standing over him. Probably to tighten the metaphysical, impenetrable chains she and Epani had tied around him when the universe was created.
“No.”
Arkay decided to ignore Sini. He didn’t need to be awake. He turned over, pulling a dust-covered blanket over himself, refusing to acknowledge his sister. His head hurt. Epani had stabbed him in the eye and the brain. His cuts and bruises from Epani’s needless beating may have faded, but he was still in pain.
However, Arkay found he couldn’t sleep. Sini was doing some annoying crap with her pheromones again, preventing him from even closing his eyes.
“We need to talk, brother.”
“Always ‘need to talk’. And am not brother. Different. Older. Enslaved.”
Admittedly, talking was pretty difficult for Arkay right now. Whatever Epani had started doing to him, he hadn’t recovered from yet. His words were slurred, his thoughts dim and compressed. He was pretty sure he had brain damage and had been partially lobotomized. But Arkay didn’t care. Not any more.
“Well, you are definitely right there. You are both technically older than me and you are definitely enslaved. But for once, I actually have some good news. We worked out why Epani’s been awful to you, and it’s the same reason I make myself into a whore all the time.”
“Don’t care. Go away. Sleep time.”
Sini frowned, then pulled the blanket off Arkay.
“Arkay, listen. We’re going to leave you alone now. You can have your friends and stuff. You just need to stay low for a bit longer.”
“Since when has that worked?” Arkay spat back as he rolled over to better look at Sini. “Pain and suffering. That is all. Forever and ever. Let me sleep. Go away. Better for everyone. Leave. Me. Alone.”
The Allbirther examined Arkay some more. He was in a bad state. Mentally, he was barely holding himself together, and his thoughts were full of static, from where Epani had hurt him.
“Let me help you. It’ll be better this time.”
“It won’t!” Arkay hissed, curling up into a ball. “Never is. The same cycles. I work hard. I slowly make some friends. You all get angry. You hurt me. Take it all away. Then I am reset and it starts again. Over, and over, and over…”
Sini hesitated, then inched closer. Sure, Arkay was not doing well, and he could have potentially lashed out, but he needed help right now. Sini very gently placed her hand on Arkay’s head, which caused him to stutter and shake. But the tender pressure, followed by a gust of calming pheromones, helped Arkay’s remaining injuries heal up. Still, despite her gentleness, Arkay backed away again.
“I’m the cause of the cycle, Sini. If I go to sleep, if I stay here, buried near where I originally died, I stop hurting others, I stop hurting myself, I stop hurting in general. I can’t take it any more. Please, Sini, I am begging you, just let me sleep. You won’t let me leave, you won’t let me die, you won’t let me live, so let me sleep!”
“I’ll be blunt, I would just let you sleep, but we need you around. And, like, just sleeping the millennia away would make you feel worse.”
“How can it get much worse than this?” Arkay snarled. “I was nearly lobotomized for daring to have pizza with a handful of mortals! Everyone gets hurt because of me.”
Sini put a hand on her hip and wagged a finger at Arkay. “Well, this time, you’re wrong. This time, people got hurt because Epani was fucking stupid. And we’re working on Epani. Genuinely this time. I worked out what the fuck was wrong with her.”
“What… what is wrong with her? Is she… corrupted or something?”
Sini frowned some more. “Ah… Well, you know why I am always trying to screw things?”
“Yeah…”
“It’s mostly because of my domain over life. But my dominating people in the bedroom satisfies a secondary problem I have. To make me inferior, to be a roadblock to my work, Kinisis gave me an affliction that makes me want to subjugate others. I conquered that problem by being a massive slut and occasionally making meat fortresses where I torture people. Turns out, Epani has the same problem, it’s just been delayed because she takes her pain out on you, but the repetitiveness of her subjugating you no longer gives her the same ‘high.”
Arkay blinked, both somewhat shocked but not that surprised. Kinisis had screwed him up, Kinisis screwing his siblings up wasn’t too much of a stretch,
“I still don’t trust Epani.”
“I don’t blame you, Arkay. I really don’t. But…” Sini sighed. “I know you just want to sleep. And I think you should sleep for a bit more. But I don’t want you to sleep forever. Your friends are waiting, hoping that you’ll come back to them. Don’t wake up for Epani or Kairos, because they’re assholes. Don’t do this for me either, because, frankly, I’m a cunt. Do it for your friends. Inside and outside. Because, while you didn’t really hurt anyone physically, little Kayel has been going to bed and muttering prayers in the hope of seeing you again. He loves you. All your friends love you. Sure, you’re the god of decay, but you do bring some joy to the universe. Get up for them.”
Arkay hesitated, then sighed as well. “I… I… I guess you are right. My friends don’t deserve to get hurt. I need to better thank the bright light and the pretty shadow anyway…”
“You mean Retvik and Kuta?”
“Uh… yeah. I’ll be honest, being stabbed in the head has really fucked me up… You’re absolutely right though, I should… I want something though. Everyone demands shit from me, I want to demand something back!”
“What do you want, dear?”
“I… I want some of my memories back.”
Sini went back to frowning. “That’s not really something I can give you. Not without opening the floodgates to millions of years of misery. And, trust me, you’re kinda not ready for that yet. Especially right now, when you’re exhausted and weakened.”
Arkay sat up and tutted. “Fine… But… can we do SOMETHING about my memories at some point?”
“When you have settled back down, when you have sorted yourself out, I’ll work out a way to give you back some memories without hurting you…” Sini perked up somewhat. “Either way, have another little nap, heal up, then grab your stuff from the hole where you buried it all and move back into my spare lab, or feel free to move in with that adorable little Skyan or something. Alright?”
Arkay yawned, then nodded. “Yeah, sure. Just… promise me Epani will leave me alone?”
“You know better than to use the P word. But I’ll do my best to make sure Epani stays clear of both you and your friends.”
“Eh… alright…” Arkay reached for a small alarm clock and set a timer on it, then pulled his blanker around himself. “Thanks, Sini.”
“No worries, little brother. Rest well. See you soon.”
Satisfied, Sini disappeared in a puff of pink and purple smoke. Arkay yawned some more, then went back to sleep. Just for a little bit.