“Oooooh, a golden letter!”
Kallis was way more excited than he should have been, upon seeing the letter Arkay had just picked up. It was an off-white envelope with a golden trim along all the edges, and weirdly scented with some sort of fake strawberry perfume.
“Open it, open it!”
Kallis was now bouncing up and down. His excitement was oddly cute, but Arkay still didn’t really get why he was so happy.
With a sigh, Arkay inspected each part of the envelope, checking it for insignias or logos or, well, anything. The only text on it was Arkay’s name and the silly name the Thantir Decay Lords had given him – the name Deathbringer.
“Come on, Arkay!”
“Shush.” Arkay was now getting annoyed. With another sigh, he slid his fingers through the tab, being careful not to damage the paper too much. Inside was a small, plastic disc with two buttons on it. The disc felt very flimsy and Arkay could easily have broken it if he wanted to. The two buttons though were a tad more obvious. One was a play button, the other a pause button.
“Play it!”
“Kallis, dude, calm down.”
“You don’t know what that is, do you?”
“I’m about to find out. Stop rushing me.”
Arkay grunted, then gently tapped on the play button. Immediately, the disc lit up in various pink tones, and a jittery, holographic figure appeared, alongside some whimsical music. The figure was clearly that of a Life Goddess, with the familiar busty shape and flickering flames across her body.
“Hello darling. You have been chosen to take part in our new Death God For Hire service. We have reviewed your specifications and you have been deemed worthy of DGFH. Because of this, we would like to invite you to a trial run as a for-hire deity. If you wish to join us, please head to the Zooantiasna zone of your Deathven location and make an application. If you have any questions, please use the lenticulic information on the other side of this disk. We hope to see you soon!”
The disc then instantly fell silent, and the hologram disappeared. Arkay did was he was told, peering on the other side of the disc. Just as the voice had said, there was a 10-digit number and some sort of email address that read “apply@DGFH.zon”.
Arkay turned to Kallis and tutted. “I have no idea why I keep on getting these things.”
“What do you mean?” Kallis exclaimed. “Being a death god for hire is one of the better jobs you can get around here!”
“I’m not a death god any more!” Arkay grunted. “Haven’t been for ages. But all these damn Life Goddesses just seem to be attracted to me.”
“Like bees to honey.”
“More like flies to a turd.”
Kallis rolled his eyes. “You keep on putting yourself down. A bunch of guys like me would LOVE to go back to being hired for mass murder but you here have the chance to do something fun! You should at least try it out!”
Arkay sighed. “I guess you’re right. But I am busy with a ton of other things right now.”
“Then go next week, when you’re less busy.”
“Yeah, I guess. Might actually be fun.”
“Exactly!” Kallis beamed. “I bet you’ll like it! Now go arrange a meeting, before you forget!”
“Sure…”