“Oh hey, you’re a cat again!” Kayel smiled as he let himself in, immediately took off all his clothes and threw them into the washing machine. Kayel blatantly didn’t care that he’d just stripped off in front of the God of Death, he was hot, sexy, young-ish and had been trying to sleep with the Skyan-shaped person he had been sharing an apartment with for a while now. Except Arkay rarely seemed to be around, and when he was around, he was normally tired and depressed.
However, Kayel wandering around naked had caught Arkay’s attention for once. Because Kayel normally kept his loincloth on at least. Arkay tried not to stare, then gave up, turned himself back into his normal, upright, armoured form and sighed.
“Being a cat makes it easier to hide some emotions…” Arkay sighed, sitting up and crossing his legs awkwardly. “How was your day, Kayel?”
“Eh, it was alright. Retvik was busy doing promo stuff, Tenuk and Talok are training for a “Tiny Terror Twins” match against the actual Terror Twins and Nyssi’s been secretly arranging a massive cake for Retvik’s birthday. I had a beast fight against a Thragger which I accidentally ended too quickly. Accidentally cut its head off when it tried to follow me through a shadow jump. Which is badass but not how I wanted to do things.”
“It’s Retvik’s birthday?”
Kayel blinked. That was not what he expected Arkay to pick up from all of that.
“Uh, yeah. We’re just having a little drunken party on the 19th. Really, really hoping Kuta can make it, since Retvik’s kinda pining for them, but I kinda doubt it.”
Arkay thought to himself. “Kuta… the really cute fanged guy… Yeah, I’ll see what I can do. Should be able to arrange something.”
Kayel blinked some more. “What, really?”
“I think so. It… Alright, don’t tell Retvik, but… the Torr kinda know what happened, and the Rethan they have demanded be handed over should this political match go their way is… well, it’s Kuta. Sure, the clones are the reason why everyone died, but Kuta was there, and they want them dead for getting involved in their shit. They’re fucking lucky Epani’s protecting them…” Arkay abruptly paused. “I fucking said too much again. Maybe this is why Epani doesn’t like me having friends.”
“Nah, Epani doesn’t like you having friends because she’s the universe’s largest rectum.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t call her a cunt.”
Kayel snorted. “Nah. Epani is full of shit, so she’s a rectum. Despite the harshness of the word, cunts are warm and pleasurable to be in. Like you.”
“Hah…” Arkay laughed awkwardly. “You… you really… yeah…”
With a shrug, Kayel sat down next to Arkay. “You know I really like you. And I’m pretty damn sure you like me back.”
“I do like you. But I saw that I completely fucked up my last relationship with someone and I don’t want to do it again. Also, I don’t know if I’m still being tracked in some way. The last thing I want is to have sex, orgasm and then have Sini immediately pop up and shout “oh hey sex is great I was right, tell me I was right!” and scaring the shit out of me when I’m feeling vulnerable.”
“Ah…” Kayel frowned. “I’ll be honest, considering what I’ve seen of you and how your fellow deities treat you, I can totally see why you’d think that. But I don’t think the Allbirther would do that. She wants you to be happy.”
“Yeah but still…” Arkay trailed off, then fell silent. He moved his laptop to one side, giving up on whatever it was he had been working on.
“Can I ask a related question? A perhaps rather embarrassing one?” Kayel asked, after some thought.
“Hah. Like that’s ever stopped you. You’re literally naked right now.”
“I’m in my own home. Don’t you wander your own home in…” Kayel paused. “Oh. You… kinda don’t have a home. Alright, before I ask the embarrassing question, you’ve lived alone, right?”
Arkay nodded. “I’m not allowed to own property but I’ve made up various mortal personas and rented places. And Sini has always let me stay in whatever lab she’s not using if I need to.”
“Well… Still kinda messed up, but not too bad. Anyway, the embarrassing question: are you scared of sex?”
“I… uh… kinda…” Arkay eventually admitted. “I’ve… not had the best experiences with sex.”
“How comes?”
“Well, first off, I’m not allowed to sleep with mortals. You are clearly an exception to that rule, and clearly Kuta was as well. But, like, before I found you all, I had eight potential options or, well, Kairos. And out of those eight, six of them are Epani and Sini’s strange, immortal monsters they use to defend the castle I can’t go in, one of them is one of Sini’s boyfriends and pink and the last is Phovos. While I like Phovos, she’s… I see her more like a niece or something, and she’s not into Threanics like me. And… don’t get me started on Kairos.”
“I thought you slept with him though?”
“Hah! He gets desperate every five thousand or so years and keeps on asking and asking until I agree just to shut him up. I don’t even enjoy it, since I have to shapeshift into something Temthaic and purely female too.”
Kayel stared at Arkay. Arkay stared back.
“What?”
“You let him sexually abuse you.”
“I… I guess… I’ve been taught, in my endless existence, that I exist to make other people happy. If I don’t, then I get pressured until I do make other people happy. It’s basically all I know now.”
“You poor, poor cunt…” Kayel sighed as he put an arm around Arkay. “And, let me guess, you’re not willing to let people make you happy, because you think they’ll demand something in return.”
“Yep.”
“Well, time to change that!” Kayel loudly declared. “I know you’re gonna fight me, you’re going to say that you don’t deserve love and kindness and all that bollocks, but mate, you need some real love and affection that doesn’t require you to give anything in return. Everyone does. Right now though, I can at the very least give you what you want. So, question is, what do you want?”
“But…”
Kayel put a finger to Arkay’s lips. “As the Mara paida goes: agape, me mila. Pothou sou vothou?”
Arkay didn’t answer. He fell silent, thinking to himself, before eventually coming up with an answer. “Firstly, I forgot how I corrupted that from the Theoglossa version. Secondly, there… are a few things I want.”
“Like what?”
“Pizza, some time watching cute cat videos, for education purposes of course, then snuggles. Naked snuggles.”
Kayel grinned, then gently kissed Arkay on the cheek. “Babe, your wish is my command…”