“What are you doing awake?”
Retvik had been meaning to get that creaky middle step fixed for years. It had always bothered him whenever he got up for his early morning snacks, and while it hadn’t woken any of his new housemates, the death god lounging in the living room had definitely heard him.
“I am hungry…” was Retvik’s blunt reply.
“You ate two XXL pizzas on your own earlier. How are you still hungry?”
Retvik grunted, ignoring the Thantophor’s statement as he wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge. After some rummaging around, he opened up a box of unfinished pizza and grabbed three slices, before slamming the fridge door shut.
“Kyr Arkay, I am 2.5m tall, weigh 175kg and spend my days either training, fighting or wrestling large beasts with my bare hands, I need to sustain this monstrous body of mine somehow.”
Arkay shrugged. Retvik made his way to the living area with his pizza and sat down opposite him. When Arkay had first turned up earlier that day, he’d taken the form of a Skyavok, but now that everyone else was asleep aside from him and Retvik, he’d switched forms, into that of a Rethavok. The light from his still-Skyan communicator was the only thing that illuminated Arkay in the gloom.
“Still, gemist poteh tha’ste, you’ll never feel full if you’re eating fatty carbs. Should pre-prepare some porridge, stick it in the fridge in individual servings and stick that in the microwave when you’re hungry. It’ll sit in your stomach for longer.”
Retvik grunted, eyeing Arkay as he took a bite out of his pizza. Whenever the Thantophor took the form of a Rethavok, it always confused Retvik, and he was never sure why. Maybe it was because Arkay looked, sounded and smelled exactly like a standard Rethan. Had Retvik not known that Arkay was the God of Death, he’d have been none the wiser.
“I feel this is not the time for healthy eating tips…” Retvik frowned, having consumed his pizza way too quickly. “Sometimes I just wish to eat junk food, even if it means doing so at 2:30 in the morning.”
“Fair, fair…” Arkay trailed off, no longer paying attention.
“So why are you awake?” Retvik saw this as a chance to ask a few questions. The Thantophor seemed oddly docile. “And what is that language you sometimes speak?”
“It’s Shadowtongue, a corrupted version of the Theoglossa, the language us gods speak when no one’s listening. Most Phantasmas like Kayel can speak it, but they don’t always realize they’re doing so. I kinda just like using it myself because the Theoglossa is overly long…” Arkay glanced up from what he was doing. “As for why I am awake, well, I was hoping I’d be able to catch Litvir but he’s just… not there.”
“You seem to care very much for these two strangers.”
Arkay sighed, then put his communicator down. “You seem to care very much for Tenuk, Nyssi and Kayel. Exact same deal. Well, the circumstances were different, you didn’t have to spend thirty hours trapped inside a metal sphere fighting hordes of corruption, but the premise is the same.”
Retvik glanced at Arkay, then got up and made his way back to the kitchen. Much to Retvik’s annoyance, Arkay was right, the pizza hadn’t filled him up. So Retvik did as was suggested and quickly made some porridge for himself in the microwave, topped with some bacon bits from the fridge.
“So what is this other Retvik like?” Retvik asked as he waited for the microwave to do its job. “I take it he is better than me.”
“That’s an unfair assumption!” Arkay tutted. “You’re both quite different. But, honestly, apart from a brief conversation where Retvik pissed me off, I kinda haven’t spoken to him properly since this universe began, so I can’t really tell. He’s sterner though. Stricter. More stubborn. Much more on fire.”
“And what about… Litvir, you said his name was?”
“Litvir’s a manipulative bastard, but in a good way. Either way, it doesn’t matter, they’re hundreds of billions of miles away. I dunno, you’d probably quite like old Retvik. Litvir is an acquired taste. You probably won’t ever meet them though, unless you four somehow manage to make it until the end of the universe.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I can’t leave this universe until it dies, and Litvir and Retvik can’t step foot inside this universe because they’d lose their divinity if they did so. So, for now, you’re the only Retvik I’ve got.”
The microwave binged, Retvik grabbed his food and he returned to the living area, feeling slightly more confident, but bad at the same time. He felt uncomfortable knowing that Arkay missed those he was blood-bound to, however, he also felt better knowing that he was the only Retvik who had access to the Thantophor. It also meant he could finally ask the questions he’d been holding out on for a long time, ever since they’d escaped the torture labs.
“So, uh, I have…” Retvik paused. Arkay was looking at his communicator again. “Do you mind if I ask these questions?”
“No, not at all. I need the distraction.”
“Ah. Good…” Retvik trailed off. He spooned some porridge into his mouth and quickly realized it was too hot. Still, Retvik tried to act cool and quickly swallowed the molten lava mouthful, before putting his bowl to one side and leaning forwards, looking directly at Arkay. “I will be honest, I have problems with you making yourself into a Rethan.”
Arkay blinked several times, looking up from his tablet. “You do?”
“Yes. I find you incredibly, distractingly attractive.”
“Oh. Sorry. I can make myself look different, if it’s bothering you.”
Retvik sighed. “That is the problem. I like it. I have remained single ever since Isaar left me and I have mostly been fine with that, but, well…” It suddenly became difficult for Retvik to finish his sentence. “Hmph. I apologise, Kyr Arkay. My thoughts are inappropriate. I am the third Rethianos, you are Death Itself. This is… stupid of me…”
“I wouldn’t say that your thoughts are inappropriate, Retvik, because I feel exactly the same way.”
“What?” Retvik blinked. “You… you like me?”
“You’re a very attractive Rethan and you’d be beating them off with a stick if you weren’t an exile stuck behind a stupid tradition…” Arkay trailed off, then sighed. “You think my appearance as a Panthreanic being is coincidental? Not at all. My mother was a Rethan. Sure, the universe I was born in, Rethans were pretty different, much more varied and split into multiple sub-species, but, genetically, I’m as close to you as I am to Kayel.”
Retvik blinked some more. He was confused. Did the Thantophor really just claim to be a Rethavok? He couldn’t tell. “I… I do not follow.”
“We’re both Rethans. Being attracted to another Rethan is perfectly normal. And if I wasn’t a god of death who accidentally dragged you into affairs above mortal comprehension, I’d have loved to have gone on a date with you. But right now…” Arkay sighed again. His body shifted and he returned to his smaller, more Skyavok-like form. “I’m sorry, Retvik. It’s wrong for me to play with your emotions.”
“But I like you being a Rethan though!” Retvik protested. “It makes you more relatable to me. Even if I am not allowed to engage in relationships with other Rethans, I would be willing to break those rules to spend more time with you!” Retvik abruptly stopped. “I… I think I may have admitted more than I should have.”
“You would genuinely want a relationship with me?” It was Arkay’s turn to be confused. “But I’m literally the personification of death, I’m the reason everything fades away.”
“You are one of the kindest beings I have ever met, Kyr Arkay, you are clearly more than just the end of one’s life. But even if you were willing, I am not allowed to have relationships at all. Part of the stupid Rethianos tradition, part of which I… initially thought I could avoid by being exiled, but no, the whole set of stupid rules still applies to me no matter what.”
Both Retvik and Arkay fell silent. Retvik went back to his bowl of porridge, while Arkay just sat with his arms crossed, staring at the floor.
“The Rethianos Tradition is fucking stupid…” Arkay eventually muttered.
“It is…” Retvik couldn’t help but nod in agreement.
The Thantophor tutted, then sat up straight again. “I’m sorry this can’t go anywhere, because we’re both in awkward positions, but I really do admire your bravery, Retvik. I honestly thought Kayel would be the first to ask.”
“Bravery?” Retvik laughed. “My confession tonight was one of confusion, loneliness and desperation. After all, it has been a decade since I last slept with another Rethan, and here you are, the perfect Rethan specimen, right in front of me.”
“Actually, you say that, according to Sini, you’re the perfect Rethan specimen. But I get what you mean. Maybe we can… revisit this idea in the future or something. But right now, neither of us can really do anything.”
“Yeah…” Retvik sighed, then got up, putting his bowl in the sink in the kitchen to be washed in the morning. “I should go to sleep, I am quite tired. But this has been… enlightening, I guess.”
“No worries!” Arkay smiled, just a little. “Same thing you guys said to me, if you ever want to talk, I’m here to listen. Sleep well, Retvik.”
With a yawn, Retvik waved good night to Arkay and climbed the stairs back up to his bedroom, pulling the door shut. Arkay waited for the movement upstairs to stop, then sighed to himself and picked up his communicator again, checking it for replies. Unfortunately, his messages were still unread.
“Heh. Lightbearer and Flamebearer would make good friends…” Arkay muttered, before turning off the screen and settling down. “Should get some sleep myself…”