Deathbringer: Hey, Elkay, how are you doing?
Unender: Oh, hello, Arkadin.
Unender: Sorry, uh, are you Arkadin or Arkay? I am not sure.
Deathbringer: Whoever signed me up as a Decay Lord put my name down as Arkidetelos for some fucking reason, but I prefer being called Arkay.
Unender: Understandable. Does mean we have too many people with the word ‘kay’ in their name. You, me, my husband and at least eight other people also called Teekay. Even if the Loopblade person we picked up has changed his name to Kaytee.
Deathbringer: I am now tempted to properly befriend a Teekay in this universe as well.
Deathbringer: Anyway, first off, congratulations on getting married finally!
Unender: Thank you. Teekay and I are very happy. Even if I, uh, accidentally messed up today while being overprotective.
Deathbringer: Oh dear. What did you do?
Unender: I know we do a… thing where we protect whoever you are blood-bound to. You saved both Retvik and Litvir when they were in need. I think, when we got married, I accidentally blood-bound myself to Teekay.
Deathbringer: He is your partner, that’s awkward but could be worse.
Unender: I somehow accidentally borrowed Elksia’s time powers, subconsciously saw that Teekay was about to get crushed under a ship he was repairing, teleported him out of the way, blinked in confusion as I had no idea what I had just done, then got squished by the very ship I had stopped Teekay from getting crushed under.
Deathbringer: Before I make any comments, are you alright?
Unender: I am fine. Broke a lot of bones. But I heal insanely, worryingly fast.
Deathbringer: Ah, good. Because that’s actually hilarious. And almost exactly how it happens with me. Except I end up passing out because I astral project to wherever my two idiots are because I’m stuck inside a stupid universe.
Deathbringer: You’re otherwise fine though, right? No meltdowns about who you are, nothing like that?
Unender: Correct.
Unender: I have a question though: Litvir heavily suggested you had your memories wiped, but you remembered that Teekay and I have been in a relationship for a while.
Deathbringer: I wrote down a ton of stuff back in August before I got my ass and my brain handed to me by Kairos.
Unender: Do you remember being in a coma and me also accidentally being in a coma and us meeting in that weird, dark place?
Deathbringer: Um… no…
Deathbringer: Oh, so you can go to the weird mimic head space place too?
Unender: Yes. I, uh, got ill with a radioactive fever from some sort of Deathven-made tracking device that was implanted in my neck, similar to the ones you, Retvik and Litvir had, and I briefly went into a coma and saw you there.
Deathbringer: Oh.
Deathbringer: How did that go?
Unender: You were very depressed and believed that the multiverse would be better off if you remained in a coma.
Deathbringer: That… sounds about right. I bet I was a horrible bastard when I spoke to you there.
Unender: To be fair, you were trapped in a coma after having a promise to you broken, and I did not help matters by being weirdly horny. Also, you suffer from crippling, undiagnosed depression and carry the weight of an entire universe on your shoulders, while also being blamed for all the wrongs in the universe, despite only being the face of change, decay and death and not literally those things.
Unender: I doubt that not even your fellow deities would be able to deal with that strain.
Deathbringer: Well, Sini has an idea. She was a death god for a bit.
Unender: I will be blunt, I try to be a forgiving person, but I cannot forgive the serpent monster who ruined my life, stripped me for parts, cut my wings off and cursed me with my mutagenic adaptation powers.
Deathbringer: Understandable. Sini has legitimately changed and worked to try and redeem herself, but she was always a monster, and if I could remember the shit she’s done to me, I wouldn’t forgive her either. But I have to run a universe alongside her so I need to be civil.
Unender: That does, well, suck.
Deathbringer: It does, but, eh, Sini really isn’t as bad as she used to be.
Unender: I will take your word for it. How are you otherwise?
Deathbringer: I’m alright, all things considered. How are you and how’s Teekay?
Unender: Teekay is asleep right now. He feels bad that I hurt myself to save him, but I am fine, just sore. I told him to sleep because he has not slept.
Deathbringer: You really do love each other.
Unender: We do. And we are together thanks to you.
Deathbringer: Well… uh… I don’t remember…
Unender: Can I ask, is memory loss an amalgam mimic thing, an age thing or a you thing?
Deathbringer: The latter two.
Unender: Well, you are old.
Deathbringer: Yep. Fucking ancient. And also a fucking idiot. Which is why I wanted to message you.
Deathbringer: Uh, firstly, the thing I want to ask… Maybe I should just be blunt…
Unender: Is your question sexual in nature?
Deathbringer: Yes.
Unender: You get weird about sexual questions too. Again, I wonder if it is an amalgam mimic thing or if we have both had very spotty experiences when it comes to romance.
Deathbringer: Probably both.
Deathbringer: I’m asking for two reasons. Firstly, you’re a weird… Oull thing like me. Secondly, you’ve slept with a Skyavok.
Unender: I thought you were a Skyavok? Or a Threan-type Retha, as Kaytee calls it?
Deathbringer: Who is Kaytee?
Unender: He is a Threan-type Retha, original name TK0016K, Teekay Theanon. Claims to have been one of your fellow Ksa when you were mortal. Except, weirdly, we have encountered six Teekay Theanons, all of whom were Threan-type Retha, and one Teekay Theanon who claimed to be a Veth.
Deathbringer: Do they know someone called Tenuk or Tahnaiious or something?
Unender: Hm… Kaytee did mention a Tahnaiious once.
Deathbringer: Eh, don’t remember them right now, but I’ve probably got more information written down somewhere.
Deathbringer: I’m getting sidetracked though.
Unender: So you are not a Skyavok or a Threan-type Retha?
Deathbringer: Technically, when I was mortal, I was three quarters Threan-type Retha, one quarter Trehavok. That’s according to some text I found written by Kinisis. But I have no idea what a Trehavok is or was and I don’t trust Kinisis as a source, even though she’d have no reason to lie in her own diaries.
Deathbringer: Alright so the problem is, I said I’d be friends with benefits with this cute-as-fuck Skyan called Kayel.
Deathbringer: Who I have just realized has the same surname as you.
Unender: As awkward as it is, I am under the impression that Theanon was a common surname in yours and Kaytee’s old universe and is a common surname in your new universe. Also, Teekay took the Theanon part of my surname when we married as a joke to fuck with Kaytee.
Deathbringer: Are you calling yourself Elkay Theanon-Rethianos or something now?
Unender: Yes. I am just as much a Rethianos as Retvik is.
Deathbringer: Can’t argue with that.
Deathbringer: We are damn good at sidetracking each other.
Unender: Haha, yes we are. Admittedly, we have always considered each other friends and we pulled each other out of some dark spots.
Deathbringer: I still blame myself.
Unender: It was literally Yisini’s fault, no one else’s. Yes, I got angry at you a few times, but you did try to make amends.
Deathbringer: You’re right.
Unender: In all honesty, I did have a crush on you. It is weird that my first two crush was on a death god when I was in my 70s, but still. Teekay and I agreed that you are my ‘freebie’, and that we can make out, as long as Teekay gets to watch.
Deathbringer: That…
Deathbringer: I have no idea how to respond to that. But it does bring me to my stupid question.
Deathbringer: Are you fucking massive down there?
Unender: Hah.
Unender: Funny you should say that.
Deathbringer: You are.
Unender: If I revert to my unshapeshifted form, I am pretty sure I am about 50cm when fully happy. I make myself smaller so I do not hurt Teekay. I also had to make myself smaller when I had that brief fling with Litvir back when we worked on the oasis for Kinisis because I did not want to make Litvir feel bad.
Deathbringer: Well fuck, so am I. Also, thanks for the confirmation. Guess I’m gonna have to shrink myself down when it comes to Kayel.
Deathbringer: Also, pfft, “fully happy”. I’m stealing that.
Deathbringer: Well, this was a conversation and a half.
Unender: Was rather telling though.
Deathbringer: True. I think I needed this chat.
Unender: Us utter freaks of existence ought to stuck together. Even if that means just text-chatting occasionally.
Deathbringer: You’re absolutely right.
Deathbringer: I have some shapeshifting to work out, so I’ll leave you to it. Hope you feel better, and give everyone my regards.
Unender: I would say to give your friends my regards but I do not know them, nor do they know me.
Unender: I suppose you could say hello to Kuta for me. He seemed quite young and pleasant, and he occasionally sends me messages.
Deathbringer: Kuta is older than you.
Unender: Wait, what?
Deathbringer: Kuta and Litvir are twins. Also, Kuta uses gender neutral pronouns.
Unender: Oh. Piss. I forgot. I apologize.
Deathbringer: It’s fine. You have a good one, alright, Elkay?
Unender: Thank you. Have fun with your shapeshifting, Arkay. I am going to go and snuggle with Teekay.
Deathbringer: Hah, nice. Good night, my fellow mimicky bastard.
Unender: Hah, good night.
Deathbringer is now offline.
Unender is now offline.