The wind was harsh. Harsher than normal. It was accompanied by a spattering of rain, not hard enough to require shelter but present nonetheless. Right now, Elkay didn’t care as he stared into the dark abyss, contemplating his life.
He knew the exact moment where it had all shattered. Leading the innocent to safety. Protecting his fellow vok. Giving up his life for that of an entire city. The Allbirther’s deal was perfect. In exchange for his soul, she would spare two million beings from her plight. She struck Elkay in his one weak spot, his honour. There was no reason why two million other beings should have suffered when he could have saved them.
If only it had ended there. A quick, honourable, sacrificial death.
No. It was never that simple. The Allbirther didn’t kill Elkay. She stole him, hurt him, tortured him. Left seeds of pain and sorrow deep within him.
Sure, Elkay had escaped, but at what cost? At first, Elkay had believed he was safe. He may have had to spend unwanted time at the side of the Thantophor, but despite the presence of the death god, Elkay was alive, right? And when the Thantophor no longer needed him, he was free to return home, right? Well, only just. Rethan society had mourned his death already. He was free to go home but there was no home to go back to.
He was dead, but only in a legal sense.
Elkay could have dealt with that. But what came next…
The mutations sucked the life out of Elkay. Or rather, they sucked the will to live out of him. The Allbirther planted more than just seeds of sorrow, she planted experimental seeds that fundamentally changed who Elkay was.
He became a monster. A horrible, broken monster. He may have been saved from an agonizing death by an apologetic death god, but by then it didn’t matter. By then, Elkay had been fundamentally changed. He didn’t even look the same. He had lost his good looks, his beautiful crimson eyes, his kind, considerate personality, everything Elkay had liked about himself. All gone.
He was no longer Elkay Theanon, former High General of the Retha. Nor was he even Elkay Theanon. He was a broken beast. A failed experiment.
He was… no one. Replaced and forgotten.
Taking a deep breath, Elkay peered down into the endless void beneath him. It would be so easy. To take his own life. He had already died twice. Not only had he died in a legal sense, but his identity was dead as well. All he needed to do now was die physically.
The winds blew harder. Elkay stepped forward, ever so slightly. It would be so easy. He would lose consciousness during the fall. He would die peacefully as nitrogen and oxygen faded from his brain. It would be millennia before anyone found his broken body.
Not that anyone would care, right?
Elkay stepped back. The rain had gotten heavier. Puddles were forming all around him. Elkay looked down at one, glancing at his reflection. He barely recognised himself.
Those last few thoughts echoed in Elkay’s mind, over and over. Elkay turned back to the inky black void, then closed his eyes.
…
Teekay had done nothing for the last twenty four hours. Nothing aside from sitting at the table, staring at the door, staring out the window, waiting for… He didn’t know. Not any more. Everything was a mess. Nothing had meaning any more.
A heavy, thudding knock on the door nearly made Teekay scream in shock. After so much silence…
Teekay didn’t get up at first. The knocking continued.
“Hello? This is the Astynom, is anyone in?”
A lump formed in Teekay’s throat. He leaped from his seat and rushed to the door, dreading the reason why the local police were here.
“One moment… Sorry…”
Teekay’s hands fumbled on the locks. Finally, the door opened, and standing there were three beings. Two astynom officers and…
“Good morning, General Teekay,” the bulkier officer smiled. “Do you know this vok? He wandered into the station an hour ago claiming he had gotten lost trying to find your address.”
Teekay stared blankly. “Uh… Yes, officer Tee-Enar. He’s a… very old school friend of mine…”
The two officers smiled then gently pushed the third being inside, past Teekay.
“Ah wonderful. You should give better instructions next time though!” Tee-Enar waved kindly. “I shall leave you two to it. Stay safe and stay away from the edges, alright?”
Teekay bowed slightly. “Thank you, officers…”
The door slammed shut and Teekay immediately turned to face the new being in the room. They looked… different… Broken. Defeated. Empty. But still clinging on.
“I am so sorry…” Elkay shivered as he sat on the floor. I am so, so sorry…”