“Hi, Timik, are you busy right now?”
Timik Lilac-Crown, the top Temthan house fighter, had just taken a massive bite out of the whole roasted chicken he was making his way through. Being a massive, powerful and sexy gladiator, Timik ate a lot of protein and little else. He tried to chew and swallow as fast as he could so he could speak to the person standing behind him.
“Ah! Little Kayel! I’m not busy at all! I know you’re not quite up to date on House Fighter Etiquette, but if you see a gladiator with food and a drink in one of these observation bays, it generally means we’re not busy. What’s up?”
Kayel edged into the room somewhat nervously. He had an awkward question to ask, made more awkward because he didn’t really know much about Temthans. At least, culturally. He’d always assumed that Nyssi was a normal Temthan, but she clearly wasn’t, and he didn’t really know who else to direct his questions to, so Kayel had decided that the top Temthan house fighter, someone Nyssi regularly dated, was probably his best choice.
“I have some things I want to ask. It’s Nyssi’s birthday this weekend and I want to get her a present, but she both doesn’t seem to want to celebrate and also I don’t know what to get her.”
Timik smiled and put his food down, then beckoned Kayel over. Really, Kayel wasn’t sure why he was nervous. In a fight, Kayel could probably win, after all, he was a shadowjumping former assassin who had literally killed people (and a god) before. Kayel hesitated some more then sat down next to the muscular, toned Temthan.
“Nyssi didn’t mention it was her birthday!” Timik grinned. “I’ll have to ask her out or something. Birthday love is the best kind of love, an excuse to give someone everything they want and treat them like a princess!” Timik paused slightly. “I just realized, I don’t know how old Nyssi is. Certainly a young one though.”
“She’s turning 37… Wait, how old are you?”
“65.”
“That’s… older than Tenuk.”
“Well, like all Temthans, I am blessed by the Lifebringer. The average Temthan happily lives to the ripe old age of 170, and, considering how fit and sexy I am, I can easily see myself hitting the big Two Hundred!”
Kayel frowned slightly. Skyavok rarely made it past the age of 120. Most just assumed it was because the Skyavok were aligned with the Thantophor, but Banikans were capable of living longer than Temthans, and their cousins, the Rethavok, could easily hit the age of 170 as well. However, Kayel pushed those thoughts to one side and turned back to his original questions.
“So, uh, what can I get for Nyssi as a present, and why doesn’t she want to celebrate?”
Timik thought to himself. “Hm. Nyssi is young, she’s below 40 so normally she’d still be celebrating bigly…”
“Heh, bigly… Not a real word but it’s funny.”
“Technically no words are real. But I suppose… Nyssi is a local, right? She hatched here on Portalia?”
Kayel shrugged. “I think so? She’s mentioned how her parents are former criminals, and she’s had… some awful, awkward run-ins with some horrible Tharr bastard who wanted to hurt her and abuse her popularity for some stupid stuff.”
“Is she from any of the Temthan territories?”
“I think Nyssi grew up on the Torn Islet.”
“Ooooohhhhhh…” Timik’s voice dragged on for a while. Like most Temthans, he had a bit of a reptilian hiss to his voice. “That makes a lot of sense.”
“It does?” Kayel was confused. Then again, he spent most of his time confused these days. Sometimes, it made Kayel wish he could just go back to his old L-Class jobs. Back when he was a teacher.
“Yeah. Folks from the Torn Islet kinda… don’t celebrate their 35th, 36th or 37th birthdays. It’s the three ages that the first three children of the Torn Islet’s founders died… Pretty sure the Raptor killed them or something, because they threatened her tribe. Frankly, the Raptor killed an absolute fuckton of people before she was somewhat made to calm down. But yeah, they tend not to do anything major, as a sort of mourning thing.”
Kayel frowned, then crossed his arms. “So… should I not get her anything?”
“Oh no, definitely get her a present. Just because Nyssi’s from the Torn Islet, doesn’t mean you can’t get her presents.”
“What do I get her though?” Kayel asked. “She’s pretty content. Has most of the stuff she wants.”
Timik took a bite of chicken and quickly swallowed it. “To be fair, most Temthans are. And whatever they lack is generally somewhat easy to get and tends to just be romance or sex.”
“I’m not sleeping with Nyssi.”
“Hah! Wouldn’t expect you to. But new experiences make for good gifts, so maybe you could get her some time in a massage parlour or something. Although, considering what you four have been through lately, I don’t know if experiences are what you are looking for. So maybe I’ll suggest getting something shiny?”
Kayel blinked. “Shiny? What, like a pretty, varnished rock?”
Timik blinked back. “Is that a thing Skyavok get each other?”
“Not as a birthday present, but… well, saying “I saw this shiny, interesting thing and I thought you’d like it” is a pretty common thing for us. Skyavok like two things: shadows and knowledge, and knowledge is easier to gift than a shadow.”
Timik blinked some more, then snorted. “Hah, that’s pretty funny. But I think maybe you should get her some jewellery. A necklace or a bracelet. Not a ring though, she might take that the wrong way. While you’re at it, don’t gift anything gold or silver to Torr, they get insulted, don’t give Rethans daggers because they think you’re proposing to them, don’t give anything magnetic to Vohra because they don’t understand magnets and definitely do not ever give wine to Thraki.”
“Uh, why not?”
“They get drunk. And violent. Fast.”
“I take it you learned that from experience?”
Timik nodded. “Retvik’s old sparring buddy Fekrim, I gave them a platinum-plated dagger for their 75th birthday. By Sini’s scales did they give me a really, really funny look. Poor fucker didn’t deserve to die in a fire. Lost half our Rethan house fighters that day.”
Kayel sighed, loudly and angrily. Timik glanced down at Kayel.
“Is something wrong?”
“I lost… a lot.”
“What happened? Were you caught in one of those four catastrophes? Wait…” Timik put a very muscular arm around Kayel. Kayel sighed some more but didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry.”
“Everyone’s sorry…” Kayel tutted as he stood up. “But, like, I shouldn’t get angry at you. We were all just… bystanders, I guess. Wrong place, wrong time. And so, so needless. And I say that as a fucking former assassin.”
“It was all needless. An insult to us all. I’m sorry you suffered but I’m glad I got to meet you and Nyssi. And Tenuk too, but he’s kinda weird, I’ll be honest. Spasts have always been weird.”
Kayel snorted. “Yeah, that’s fucking true. Thank you for the info, I’ll probably buy Nyssi some shiny jewellery.”
Timik smiled again. “No worries, friend! Have a good one!”
The little Skyavok waved as Timik went back to the entire roast chicken he was eating. “You too!”