Talks About Risks

Deathbringer: Hey guys. How’s the headache, Litvir?

Souldrainer: Arkay! I am very happy to hear from you!

Deathbringer: Yeah, about that…

Flamebearer: It is temporary, I assume.

Deathbringer: Ugh… Probably…

Deathbringer: I suppose I ought to explain.

Souldrainer: Please do. Because I badly miss your presence. Even if it is mostly text-based.

Deathbringer: Simply put, Epani blatantly lied about everything. She was jealous of me being happy and decided to put a stop to that by forcing me to go cold. I found out the truth when Kairos and I interrupted an argument between Sini and Epani, and, well, I lost my cool. I threatened Epani, grabbed her by the throat and threw her into a wall and Kairos knocked me out before I could really do anything.

Deathbringer: Sini saved my stupid ass and we’re trying to plot… some sort of revenge scheme, but…

Deathbringer: Let me put it this way. As far as I recall, I had to work with Epani to kill Kinisis, the most powerful Life Goddess in the sector. Epani is now the most powerful Life Goddess. And I’m chained to the universe she created, unlike when I killed Kinisis and was my own, free self…

Deathbringer: Well, I wasn’t, was I?

Flamebearer: We do not know what happened to you in Deathven. And Vikalos does not know what happened to you after you left his care.

Deathbringer: I don’t know either. I just remember feeling empty. And I guess maybe Epani offered me something to fill that void and trapped me in here to be her slave. Because I don’t think Epani ever actually needed me to help her kill Kinisis.

Deathbringer: But that’s the thing. Sini and I are working on a plan. If the plan works, I get actual freedoms back. I won’t be able to ditch this universe completely, I’m still bound to it because I need both Epani and Sini to rewrite the universe’s laws for me to be able to leave, but, like, you two would be able to come by and visit without Epani instantly trying to kill you, the same way Theocydes visits me occasionally.

Souldrainer: Theocydes visits you?

Deathbringer: He floats above the hatch at the universe’s northern pole and we have a quick chat while I pretend to scare him off to appease Epani.

Deathbringer: He offered to kidnap me and drop me off somewhere close to you guys but I told him that would probably kill me.

Deathbringer: Either way, it’s all very risky. Epani is powerful, and she made this universe. Sure, Sini is also a Life Goddess, she has some sway, but… Sini isn’t 100% a Life Goddess. She’s part Time Drake. And she’s nowhere near as powerful as Epani or Kairos on either side. So we need to be really, really careful.

Souldrainer: Why is Sini a hybrid?

Deathbringer: No idea. Sini says sorry about what Epani did, by the way. Sini… seems to like you both, and asked me if you were alright.

Souldrainer: Of course Epani sent that message.

Deathbringer: My point is, if the plan works, if all goes well, I get more freedoms. And if the plan really works, then I might be able to start unbinding myself, so I can get out of here in a few billion years instead of the 20 billion minimum Epani originally proclaimed when we made this place.

Flamebearer: And what if the plan does not work?

Deathbringer: Yeah…

Deathbringer: If it doesn’t work… I don’t know what will happen. Most likely, I’ll be forced to go cold, but permanently. Or I’ll be ‘reset’ to before I got all ‘uppity’ and I’ll… I’ll forget everything again. If the latter happens, it’ll suck, but, well, you’ll find me again. I’ve been preparing for that anyway, I’ve bought a bunch of extra devices and stuff, filled them with the things I need to contact you and left notes in various places so I can find them if I do get reset. And, maybe, I get to relearn everything in a better way, and I get to experience things for a second time.

Deathbringer: The problem is the first option. I might lose my ability to even speak. And I probably will lose my mind. I’ll become harsh and aggressive and I’ll stop being the Arkay you both know. I already noticed it when I originally went cold.

Souldrainer: You have been thinking about this a lot. To the point that you are more focused on if you fail than if you succeed.

Deathbringer: The risks are bigger, Litvir. The last seven months have been a roller-coaster for me, but they’ve also been… some of the best times in my life. I know what I’ll be missing if things go wrong.

Flamebearer: Arkay, may I make an… observation?

Deathbringer: Sure.

Flamebearer: You went, according to you, two billion years without even knowing who me and Litvir were. Before that, you were locked away in a Deathven stronghold, being depressed and not talking to us. In the time where we have been back in touch, we have also constantly been out of touch. You broke all contact with us and just randomly called me the other… uh, day, I guess, and now you think you will be going out of touch again. In the grand scheme of things, what are you actually losing if you fail?

Flamebearer: I do not want to be mean, but, frankly, these things rarely seem to turn out for the better. If things go badly, we stop talking again. Oh well.

Souldrainer: That is rather cold of you, dear.

Flamebearer: Maybe I am phrasing it wrong. Stop worrying about what may happen if you fail. It is hurting you. And, honestly, if things do fail, you have been through all of this before. You think there is a lot of risk when in fact there is little risk. You just return to the status quo before you found us.

Deathbringer: But… we’ll miss each other.

Flamebearer: Little one, you have been gone for three of our old years. We will probably not see you in person for at least another decade. Maybe longer. We hardly even voice chat. We miss you no matter what. But these risks that you are fretting about are holding you back.

Souldrainer: I think what Retvik is trying to say is that you need to just go ahead with your plan to do whatever it is you are doing and not worry about the consequences until they happen. He is just doing an awful job of articulating that.

Deathbringer: Oh. I see.

Souldrainer: What are you planning to do anyway?

Deathbringer: It’s complicated. And involves Life Goddess stuff I can’t explain. Also involves smashing one of Epani’s little asteroid fields. And hopefully actually hurting Epani in a meaningful manner.

Souldrainer: Well, I wish you all the luck. If you are going to fight her physically, do us a favour and kick Epani in the vagina.

Deathbringer: I’ll try.

Deathbringer: I need to go now. I have… things I need to sort out.

Deathbringer: Love you guys.

Souldrainer: Love you, Arkay.

Flamebearer: Look after yourself.

Deathbringer: You too. Say hi to everyone for me.

Deathbringer is now offline.