“Hello, dear.”
“OH FUCK!”
Kayel had just been lying in bed, as naked as a Skyan could be, thinking… thoughts, when the massive, pink Temthan appeared at the foot of his bed. Instinct kicked in and Kayel rolled off the bed, through a shadow on the floor and reappeared behind the sofa in the other room, where he kept his rifle. However, as Kayel fiddled with the lock on the rifle, he paused and made the mistake of sniffing the air. Immediately, Kayel was overcome with both lust and an overwhelming sense of calmness.
“Were you really about to shoot me?” Sini asked as she approached. She waved her hand and the lust faded away.
Kayel shook his head violently, trying to orientate himself, before turning to the deity that had just invaded his home.
“You know there’s a thing called a FUCKING DOOR, right?” Kayel shouted as he climbed out from behind the sofa. He didn’t care that it was 2am, he was pretty much the only person who still lived in this building, outside from some young Ξ-Class student on the bottom floor.
Sini shrugged, then sat herself down on the sofa. As she did so, she changed form, from a Temthan into a Ksithan, then into a Vohra, then into a Skyavok. A very, very attractive Skyavok. Pretty much everything Kayel wanted from a Skyavok.
“Alright, are you here to rape me or set me on fire or cut open my stomach or something?” Kayel asked.
“If you actually want to have sex with me, then we can, that’d be nice. I need more data on how to increase Skyavok birth rates anyway. Bet you’re pretty good in bed. I’m not here to experiment on you though.”
Kayel blinked, then wiped the drool from his mouth, blatantly announcing the fact that he was very, very turned on right now.
“You… you’d sleep with me?”
Sini nodded. “Darling, I go around having sex with mortals all the time. I just normally do so disguised and not blatantly as the Goddess of Life herself. No, the real goal is to get you to have sex with Arkay. You’ll be the third person to do so, and I totally think he’ll actually go for it. After some gentle nudging.”
“Oh. So Kuta actually DID sleep with Arkay… Good to know, I can annoy Little Bitey with that later. I assume number one was the Whenvern? He did admit that to us once.”
“Ugh. Yes. That though… Definitely a few times where Kairos coerced Arkay a little too hard. Before this universe though, things get a little fuzzy, because Arkay was off being a Decay Lord and I have no idea what happened there, and the universe before, a Voidborn killed pretty much all of Arkay’s love interests. I also fucked one of them up but that guy survived. I wonder what happened to little old Elkay?”
Kayel blinked some more. “Did you say… Elkay?”
“Yep.”
“You know… my name used to be Elkay… right?”
“Yep. I would say “good thing you changed it” because weird things happen to overly sexy Threanic folks called Elkay but weird things happened to you anyway. I’m getting off track though.”
“Is that normal?” Kayel asked.
Sini smiled some more. “Oh, totally. I could go on for days about the poor people with amazing genetics that I wanted to have kids and they never got around to it. Anyway… The reason I came here is quite simple. Arkay is working so hard that my initial plan to have him find you killing a Corruptiid isn’t feasible. So I’m going to do something really mean.”
“Oh dear… What are you going to do?”
“I have a few pieces of dead Voidborn. I’m-“
“What actually IS a Voidborn and why do you have some of it?” Kayel interrupted. “Like, Arkay mentioned killing one a few times, but I don’t get what they are!”
The Allbirther thought for a moment. Mortals weren’t really allowed to know about exo-universal threats, as to not cause needless panic. But Kayel was technically already aware about these things, so Sini didn’t see any harm in telling him.
“Voidborns are god-like beings that aren’t born inside universes and kinda just pop into existence. They’re mostly colossal assholes who do nothing but cause trouble, but occasionally Life Goddesses like Epani and myself will capture them and keep them as only partially willing husbands. My step-dad was a Voidborn called Kenon and he eventually learned how to not be an asshole until mum raped his mind and drove him insane and Arkay killed him to protect us. Epani and I both keep pieces of Kenon’s old armour plating as reminders to not keep Voidborn husbands. I like to think Kenon was a decent person before Kinisis ruined him.”
Kayel stared blankly at Sini, clearly not completely understanding.
“Okay, simply put, they’re bastards from outside the universe, and a lot of them like trying to hurt universes because they’re jealous. Anyway, I have a piece of one, and I’m going to use it as bait to get Arkay to come to Portalia, to the road outside your place. Then I’m going to knock him out, and you’re gonna find him, drag him into this little shithole you call home and you’re gonna nurse him back to health. Well, you’re not, Arkay heals pretty much instantly, and that and the fact that he’s bound to protect this universe are the only things keeping him afloat, but you’re gonna be a massive distraction. And because you’re hot, cute, a Skyavok and yellow, you’ll hopefully make Arkay at least consider mellowing out a bit.”
“Oh. Alright. I do have a first aid kit in the other room. You’re not going to… make Arkay all bloody or something? Because I think his blood is acidic.”
Sini shook her head. “Nah, not at all. I’ll just give Arkay a bump on the side of the head and knock him out. He’ll be completely fine, just confused. Definitely if you continue wandering around like you are right now.”
Kayel glanced down at himself, then glanced back at Sini. “Normally I wear clothes when there’s others around. You kinda… barged in when I was lying in bed, about to play with myself so I could go to sleep.”
“Eh, my bad. You still up for this though?”
“Yeah. It’s weird as fuck, but, well, Arkay made me immortal and he’s clearly working hard to keep the universe safe. Least I can do is try and make Arkay feel a bit better and help him open up again.”
Sini got up and patted Kayel on the head, before gently kissing him on the cheek.
“Good girl. You look after Arkay for me, alright? I’ll pop you a message when I’ve dumped his unconscious body outside.”
Kayel nodded wordlessly, unable to say anything or hide the fact that he was now noticeably horny. The Allbirther waved, then disappeared, yet again not bothering to use the front door.
After way, way too long, Kayel managed to snap back to reality. He shook himself down, then decided to have a long, cold shower.