“Heya, Relkir, you alright?”
It turned out that Gath was very popular among the house fighters of the Great Arenas, and everyone had spent a great afternoon having fun and chatting. Somehow, that afternoon turned into drinking games in the evening, combining into a celebration of multiple things. Also, it seemed that Retvik had more non-Rethan friends than Rethan friends, and the top house fighters had all been wondering why Retvik hadn’t properly celebrated being a Triumphant Champion yet. So someone had decided to bring in some alcohol and move the meeting down to the House Fighters’ Canteen, where they all had free food.
However, Relkir hardly ever drank alcohol, and they had a headache now, so they’d stepped outside briefly. It wasn’t that Relkir felt out of place, these strange folks had gladly accepted Relkir as much as they’d accepted Gath. Relkir just needed some fresh air. They didn’t expect to be followed. Especially not by a Skyavok. The Rethans and the Skyans had only really been friendly again for a short while, and the two previous governments of both races had stretched that tentative alliance thin, up until changes in power for everyone.
“Hello, Kayel. I am fine. I just have a headache.”
“Guessed as much. Means you haven’t had enough fluids!” Kayel smiled, nudging a bottle of water into Relkir’s hand. “Alcohol makes you dehydrated. And I’ve gotten drunk with Retvik lots of times, he guzzles down so much water that he doesn’t get headaches. Tenuk doesn’t drink as much and does get headaches. I… don’t know about Nyssi, she’s just an alcohol-sucking machine who puts Timik, the fricking Great Blade to shame.”
Relkir shrugged, opening the bottle and taking a sip as they leaned on the balcony that overlooked one of the smaller arenas.
“You not a drinker?”
“No, not at all. I have consumed more alcohol since I started dating Gath than I have in the last 20 or so years.”
“Again, guessed as much!” Kayel chirped. “Outside of the headache thing though, you do seem really super happy. How did you and Gath get together? Because, well, uh, I hate to sound rude, but you ARE an odd combo.”
Relkir hesitated. “Well… admittedly… apparently Gath originally asked me out on a dare, when we were last here on Portalia… just after we repatriated Retvik…”
Kayel snorted. “In hindsight, that was pretty funny. Kuta kinda just called Retvik up and asked him out for lunch and it turned out it was a ruse to get him in front of the High General. They still ended up dating though.”
“It was Kuta and their cohort Ritlir who dared Gath in the first place.”
“Makes sense. Kuta’s pretty good with that sort of thing. Then again, they do have telepathy. You are happy though, right?”
Relkir nodded. “I am, yes. Very happy. It is very liberating, and we love each other dearly, despite how different we seem.”
“Good, good…” Kayel trailed off briefly, then rummaged around in a bag slung across his shoulder. The bag was new, Relkir hadn’t seen Kayel wearing it when he joined the tour earlier.
“Where did that come from?”
“Where did what come from?”
“The bag.”
Kayel paused for a moment. “Oh. I went and grabbed it earlier. I’m a Phantasma, I can basically teleport to very specific locations. I’ve memorized a few places across Palaestra, namely my apartment, Retvik’s villa, Talok’s place and a few places around here, mostly our private training room and Psiksi’s private room too, and when I saw you come out here, I quickly went to grab my bag.”
“What is shadowjumping like?” Relkir asked.
“Huh… That’s a pretty good question. I think it’s actually different for different people. Tenuk says that he feels cold when I shadowjump him, Retvik said the same but he said Kuta’s shadowjumps feel overly warm. I kinda… don’t feel anything at all.”
“How comes?”
“I’m trained not to feel. We all are…” Kuta finished rummaging around and pulled out what he was looking for. It was two items, a wrapped up dagger and a small, thin box, which he handed to Relkir. “Anyway, I got a present for you.”
Relkir’s eyes widened as they realized what the box was. “Um… You do know that you, an L-Class Skyavok, have just given the High Advisor of the Rethavok a packet of condoms, yes?”
“And an official Phantasma dagger.”
“Yes but… why… why condoms?” Relkir inspected the packet some more. “These are extra large Skyavok condoms as well… with… uh… a weird… pattern on them?”
Kayel continued to smile. “So, basically, I pretty much live with Retvik now. Actually, I spend half my time at Retvik’s place, half my time at my own place, sharing an apartment with a depressed death god. And since I’ve spent a lot of time with a perfect specimen who is clearly clueless about relationships, I assumed you might need a lot of help. As a former teacher of sexual education, it’s kinda my duty to help out.”
Relkir rolled their eyes. “I know all about safe playing. I may have only recently become unchaste, but I am not stupid.”
“Gonna be blunt, this isn’t just about safe sex. One of the courses I did in teacher training was in non-Skyan and hybrid relationships. Rethans are pretty vanilla about sex because you’re all a bit shy about it. Those condoms are good condoms, good enough for a death god. You’ll enjoy them.”
“Good enough… for a death god?” Relkir asked.
Kayel nodded. “Yeah. Personally, I both get though a lot of condoms and I prefer dotted over ribbed, but Arkay likes these ones and so does Kuta. That’s two Rethans that have-”
“Wait, what about Kuta?” Relkir suddenly exclaimed. “I swear, I cannot get away from that fanged bastard!”
“That’s rude. Kuta’s a chill dude. Most tolerant Rethan I’ve ever met after Retvik. I’ll be even more blunt, Kuta literally asked me about these condoms, saying they couldn’t find them in Rethan territories and wanted them for Retvik, so I bought a few packets, and I thought maybe you, another shorter than average Rethan and someone who is a Rethianos like Retvik is, might appreciate them too.”
Relkir blinked a few times, then calmed down somewhat. “Well… this is all very, very weird… but, well… I guess… thank you… Also, how do you know that… the Oath Keeper likes these too?”
“He’s sleeping on my sofa right now…” Kayel also paused. “I noticed more and more Rethans are calling Arkay Oath Keeper instead of Deathbringer…”
“Yes, because that is what we believe him to be. A keeper of oaths and promises. After all, Arkay does have an odd connection to promises, and goes after those who break them. I think you can attest to that, after what happened with that horrible Ayvee-En vok.”
“Well… yeah… you kinda do have a point. He’ll always be the Silent Blade to me though. My god of Death and Shadows… Hence the other gift to you!” Kayel perked up. “Nyssi said that, when you passed by the holy shrines after the museum tour, you stopped and muttered a prayer to Arkay. You worship him and you clearly don’t worship Epani. I can’t give you one of Arkay’s actual weapons, but a Phantasma Dagger is as close as you can get! After all, I’m a true Phantasma, I swore allegiance to Arkay. And I think, at some point, you swore yourself to Arkay’s will and teachings as well. In a less death-y way, I assume.”
Relkir fell silent.
“Sorry, was that all a bit too much?”
“Admittedly, yes. I thought I kept my beliefs quiet.”
“Most other Rethans probably don’t know. I only know because Nyssi mentioned it, and I… well, I don’t worship Arkay any more since we occasionally share a bed, but I’ve been in your place. There’s nothing wrong with revering Arkay though. He and Sini care about mortals.”
“Hmmph… Well, thank you, Kayel. You are very kind. And very strange.”
Kayel put an arm around Relkir. Relkir was still technically huge compared to him, a good half a meter taller than Kayel was. “Yeah, I am. But, like, sure, you’re not one of the family, but you’re extended family. Nyssi and I don’t have siblings, but Retvik and Tenuk do, and we like to think their siblings, i.e. you, Rethais, Kohra and Levik, are our siblings too. Same way we treat Nyssi’s cousins as our cousins. If you need help, we’re here for you.”
“I… appreciate that… And if you need help, Kyr Kayel, I will do all I can to assist. You are a great vok. You have done the universe proud, despite your dark past.”
“Heh. Thanks…” Kayel glanced behind him. “Alright now, drink that water, and come and join us back inside. Because we’re missing out on the fun.”
Relkir smiled. “I shall. Thank you again.”
“No worries, dude. I’ll leave you to it now. See you in a bit!”
Kayel backed off and headed back to the party. Relkir hesitated briefly, pocketed their gifts, downed their bottle of water then grinned and did the same.