“Boys and girls, we have a problem.”
Nyssi glanced at the rest of Xeno Dessaron One, wondering why the Raptor had used the word ‘girls’ when she was the only actual girl present. Then again, despite the other three all using the same pronouns, technically, Tenuk was the only boy present too.
“Is the problem that no one wishes to fight us?” Retvik awkwardly raised his hand. Despite being a wall of muscle and armour, Nyssi noticed that Retvik behaved differently in front of the Raptor, almost submissively. Sure, Phovos was their boss, but Nyssi, Retvik, Kayel and Tenuk had met, fought and also helped kill deities, so Nyssi couldn’t work out why Retvik acted the way he did.
“Exactly, Retvik. No one wants to fight you…” Phovos seemed annoyed. Mostly because she’d had to just cancel yet another 4×4 Dessaron match, because the Claws of the Chronowyrm had flat out refused to even go near Xeno Dessaron One. Considering the Claws of the Chronowyrm were a Thraki team, a team consisting of four colossal, flying, fire-breathing monsters, that was a bit of a problem. In fact, the only team that were even remotely willing to fight Xeno Dessaron One were Retha Squad Two, and they were insisting on a 3v1 match against Retvik, which was a little too unfair for Phovos’s liking.
“What, no one at all?” Kayel looked confused, as always. “Like, absolutely no one?”
Phovos nodded. “Pretty much no one. After all, you guys helped kill a god. As far as the rest of the universe is concerned, you four are unstoppable and also completely fucking insane. There’s been a few singular requests, like having Nyssi fight Timik Lilac-Crown and another rematch between Retvik and Kayess-En, as well as ten vok asking to fight Tenuk as long as he doesn’t shapeshift, but they’re all stupid requests. Apart from the Rethan Rematch fight, but I don’t think that will be too popular, especially since Kayess-En seems to be insistent on ruining her team’s reputation lately…”
“Wait, what, what the fuck? People want to fight me as a normal Spast?” Tenuk snapped. “That’s fucking stupid! The whole point of me being here is to show off my cool shapeshifting stuff! Me being a Spast in the arena is retarded!”
“Some people want an easy win. And I don’t want you lot doing solo matches and losing, because people are expecting way, way too much of you…” Phovos did her best to explain. “Sure, Retvik can take it, he’s got nearly 30 years of experience fighting here. And in all honesty? Kayel, you could probably do pretty well in solo battles, but people don’t like fighting shadowjumpers or Skyavok in general and I have enough problems getting people to fight the Happy Cold…”
Kayel blinked. “Why don’t people like fighting Skyans?”
“Please, please don’t take this the wrong way, Kayel, but a LOT of our viewers kinda just see you Skyavok as mini Rethavok.”
“But… we came first…” Kayel did feel somewhat insulted, but decided to let it drop. After all, he knew Phovos didn’t see him as a mini Rethavok and they both knew that the average arena viewer wasn’t exactly smart or aware of Panthreanic evolution theories.
“I know, Kayel, I know…” Phovos sighed, rubbing her head. “And while we can just have you guys fighting beasts, that’s a real waste of your skills.”
“What about the offer from Retha Squad Two?” Retvik asked.
“Retvik, I’m not letting you do a 3v1 match against three other Rethavok. You’re good, you’re stupidly good, but a 3v1 match is almost certainly going to end your streak.”
“Not if you turn off my Received Damage Multiplier…” Retvik tutted. “With this stupid x6 RDM I have less health than I did before I was accidentally rendered immortal.”
Phovos pointed a finger at Retvik. “I’m not taking that RDM off you. 20,000 health is fucking overpowered and you know it.”
Retvik grunted and crossed his arms in annoyance. “Fine. I will not do that match then. But I am sorely missing solo matches. Or, well, any matches. Can I at least be the Big Bad for once?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“You’re the Lightbearer!” Phovos hissed. “You’re SUPPOSED to be a good guy!”
“You let Tenuk be the Big Bad. Nyssi could be a Big Bad. Kayel would be a pretty scary Big Bad. But I cannot be the Big Bad?”
“It just doesn’t suit you in the slightest. Unlike the rest of Xeno Dessaron One, you have a persona and a reputation you need to keep up. And you’re always trying to protect everyone anyway!” Phovos paused. “Although I might consider Kayel as a Big Bad. That actually might be interesting, especially if we really dim the lights… Might actually work, considering how he made one of Retha Squad One scream in fear…”
Retvik grunted some more, unsure how he could show that he was genuinely pissed off without seeming threatening. “By the Light, you have got to be screwing with me on purpose.”
“I’ll be honest, I kinda want to see Kayel be a Big Bad…” Nyssi muttered under her breath, hoping Retvik didn’t hear her. Retvik did hear her but did his best to not say anything or get even angrier.
Phovos thought to herself some more, before sighing and whispering. “I suppose we could have you guys do terror-beast matches…”
Both Nyssi and Retvik let out a small gasp, while Tenuk covered his mouth in fear. Kayel just blinked in confusion, wishing he had been more invested in arena stuff before he’d accepted the job of becoming a gladiator.
“I thought… I thought terror-beast matches were illegal…” Nyssi lowered her voice. “Too many casualties… especially the underwater ones…”
“I ought to point out that I can barely swim…” Retvik muttered.
“You can’t swim, Retvik?” Kayel exclaimed, not keeping quiet at all. “Also, can someone tell me what a terror-beast is? I take it it’s bad or something?”
Retvik frowned. “I can swim, just about, but not for very long. I mean, I weigh 200 kilos with my armour on, and my natural plating is resistant to low calibre bullets. There have to be SOME trade-offs to my genetic awesomeness… But yes, terror-beasts are bad. They are massive, terrifying monsters from the Temthan abandon-worlds.”
“How big we talking? And what is an abandon-world?” Kayel was feeling pretty stupid right now.
“Anything large enough to make a Rethan or a Banikan concerned…” Phovos shrugged. “They’re not illegal though, never have been, it’s just that terror-beast fights are hard to stop if something goes wrong. But since you guys are immortal, or even if you just heal insanely fast, that makes you immune to things like being squished, being thrown or being eaten.”
“Abandon-worlds are planets in Temthan, Ksithan and Thrakian territories that are basically massive ecological preserves where we just let the giant monsters live in peace!” Nyssi smiled awkwardly. “Kinda always wanted to go to one, but also, well, massive scary monsters are also a, uh, thing…” Nyssi hesitated for a moment and turned to the Raptor. “You can… import a terror-beast?”
“I have contacts, yes,” Phovos nodded. “Old friend of mine, a Thraki by the name of Lokmahro, he runs a nature preserve on the abandon-world of Hel. To keep things orderly, they need to do semi-regular culls, and we get a lot of Thracks and more exotic Thraggers imported from there. I can pull some strings and get us some really interesting things to kill. Or I can just send you four there on vacation.”
“That really doesn’t sound like a fun vacation to me…” Tenuk should have been absolutely terrified, since he was a small, non-predatory being, but he did like the appeal of shapeshifting into more exotic creatures. “But, I mean, we’ve killed big beasts before, this can’t be too bad, right? And we still get to fight and do arena stuff rather than doing nothing.”
Nyssi seemed partially excited. “I’d love to see a terror-beast up close. What do you two armour-boys think?”
Retvik grunted, then shrugged, relenting somewhat. “I need to fight something. Beasts will do.”
“Yeah, I guess, but I’d rather we fight here in the arenas rather than out in the middle of nowhere.” Kayel was definitely less certain, but, like Retvik, he had a desire to fight. And beast fights meant Kayel could go all-out on his Phantasma abilities and also satisfy his shadow-born bloodlust afterwards.
The Raptor grinned and clapped her hands together. “Wonderful! I’ll start making plans. In the mean time, I’ll make arrangements for some practice beast matches for you all, and I’ll sort out a date for when Kayel can play the Big Bad. See you round, my star gladiators!”
Phovos waved goodbye, then disappeared, slamming the door shut behind her.
After a moment of awkward silence, Retvik made everyone else jump by stamping his foot in anger.
“I cannot believe that the Raptor is letting Kayel of all vok be the Big Bad!”
Kayel smiled. “I can be pretty scary when I want to be. Although I don’t think there’s anything scarier than that weird shadowjumping fanged Rethan we saw the other day… speaking of which, we haven’t heard from Arkay in a while, do you think he’s alright?”
“He is the fucking god of death, he can look after himself…” Retvik growled as he stomped off. “I am going to get myself something to eat before I get even angrier. Do any of you want anything?”
The rest of Xeno Dessaron One all glanced at each other and shrugged.
“Eh, we’ll come with you, Ret!” Nyssi beamed. “We could all do with a drink or something…”