“You spoke to Sini, didn’t you?”
Litvir had been avoiding everyone all day, hiding away, not talking to anyone. He had done his work in silence then immediately skulked off, dodging any and all interactions with others. Arkay had quickly noticed Litvir’s uneasiness, but hadn’t been able to do anything about it until his shift as a Time Drake ended. After some sniffing around, Arkay found Litvir on one of the far edges of Savepoint, gazing out into the eternal darkness. For once, Litvir wasn’t wearing a cape. He wasn’t wearing armour at all, just a stomach wrap and loin cloth, and had wrapped a blanket around himself.
He also didn’t answer Arkay’s question. He hardly acknowledged Arkay’s presence. But Arkay already knew the answer to his own question.
“Speaking to Sini is never a good idea. Your one on one conversations with her have never gone particularly well.”
A grunt. Litvir glanced at Arkay, then turned back to the void.
“Let me guess, you asked her why she let all those bad things happen, right? And she gave you an answer you didn’t like. Then she twisted her words and stuck a verbal knife in your back. Right?”
Another grunt.
“I knew it. Sini can randomly be a real bitch sometimes. What did she say to you?”
Litvir hesitated. He didn’t say anything at all, not at first. After sniffing a few times, Litvir sighed and decided to speak.
“She said I should have been better.”
“What do you mean?” Arkay asked, before thinking for a moment. “Hang on, did Sini do her stupid shtick about how she’s above morality or some bollocks like that and that mortals are supposed to be better?”
Litvir blinked, then turned to Arkay and nodded. “That… is exactly what she said. That, as a vastly intelligent mortal, I was supposed to work towards bettering the lives of my fellow mortals.”
Arkay rolled his eyes. “See, I always thought that was stupid. It’s up to EVERYONE to make things better for EVERYONE. But not everyone immediately knows or learns that, because our base instinct is to protect ourselves first. After all, its much harder to make things better for other people when you’re struggling. It’s not an excuse to be a bad person, of course not.”
“I was a bad person.”
“Yeah, so?” Arkay tutted. “So was I. So was Sini. Alright, it’s different flavours of a bad person, but we were all baddies. I mean, I was literally the god of death. I killed plenty of beings before their time.”
“That is different.”
“How is it different?” Arkay frowned. “You were starved and tortured and forced to kill as a child, that massively affected you as you grew up. You learned to only look after yourself, that it was survival of the fittest. Unlearning that is incredibly difficult, especially in the span of a single life. And, like, Sini has no excuse what so ever. She’s a deity. She’s fucking ancient and KNOWS that long life is tied to a caring society. Survival of the fittest only works until a race comes together and forms a society capable of overcoming things like famine and illness.”
Litvir sighed, but didn’t say anything. Arkay could tell he was really hurting.
“You’re not a bad person now. You definitely were a bad person, but you changed. For the better.”
“I know. That is not what is hurting me the most right now.”
Arkay frowned, then thought some more. He considered what Litvir often did, to read his mind, but decided not to.
“Is it because she said she let it all happen because she was curious or she forgot or something?”
“Yes.”
Arkay rolled his eyes again. “Yeah. I can get why that hurts. Was she curious? Or did she forget?”
“Both. She stopped caring when she realised Siona was just passing on bad genetics, and mostly just forgot.”
“She did that a lot. All the fucking time. Tried to get her to stop, repeatedly, never worked. You know when she did eventually stop? When she raped my mind and I nearly killed her for it. And because of Kinisis, she was never really punished for it.”
Litvir growled slightly. “They were assholes.”
“They were. Sini still is. She’s improved, but she can still be monstrous at times. And in all honesty? I was often an asshole too. I often didn’t intervene when I should have, because I was scared of being hurt again. You kinda did the same thing. Sure, you’re a super smart evil mastermind genius sort of person, but you were evil because you were raised to be selfish and overly defensive of yourself. You got better though.”
“I… I guess… Still, I am angry and sad.”
“Yeah, I get that. At the same time though? Don’t listen to the piss Sini says. She’s a giant lying snake bitch with more tits than brains, who loves making people feel shitty about themselves to cover up her own issues. She’s a hypocrite and a far worse person than you are. You at least have the excuse of being literally tortured and force-fed your own dead siblings as a child.”
“Ugh.”
Arkay scooted closer to Litvir and put an arm around him. “It’s alright. You’re allowed to be sad.”
“I know. But I want Sini to go away.”
“Oh, me too. Yeah, sure, I still feel beholden to her because she saved my corrupted ass, but I want Sini to go away too. I spent two universes by her side. Don’t want her around any more.”
Litvir sighed some more, then fell silent again. After a moment though, he turned to Arkay with a question.
“When will Elksia’s egg hatch?”
“About an ev from now.”
“Will things get better after that?”
“Yeah.”
“Ah… Good…”
Again, Litvir trailed off. He gazed off into the distance, then nuzzled up to Arkay.
“I love you, Arkay. I am sorry for being an asshole.”
Arkay smiled and hugged Litvir tightly. “You’re fine, Litvir. Don’t listen to Sini. She’s a bitch.”
“You are correct.”
“I know I am!” Arkay grinned. “Don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright…”