Tahvra expected to wake up in a bed on his own, but no, there were… seven…. SEVEN beings all waiting for him. His fellow Thantir Decaylings were all sitting at the end of the bed, smiling and being happy for Tahvra.
“How are you feeling?” Akah asked as he got up and waltzed over, handing Tahvra two of his favourite things, a bowl of golden syrup and the custom action figures Tahvra had bought on a recent shopping trip. “We were worried about you.”
Tahvra took the items from his Lanex buddy and lapped up some of the syrup, before turning to face everyone. “I’m… confused. Why are you all here?”
“Because we were worried about you!” Eksi chirped. “You needed surgery to have your balls removed so you don’t turn into a massive, rampaging sex monster!”
“Us Guardians and Decaylings have to stick together, after all!” Teekay added.
With some confused blinks, Tahvra examined his friends. It occurred to him that he was older than both Eksi and Teekay and by quite a bit. Teekay was nearly 40, Eksi was nearly 30, but Tahvra was closing in on 50. At least, he must have been, since he’d just had to be neutered so he didn’t become an adult. Technically, if Tahvra counted his many rebirths, he was older than Elkay and Elksia, who were 80-ish and 70-ish respectively. Admittedly, most of them had lost track of how old they were, mostly because their ways of measuring time back in their old universe no longer worked. Sure, Litvir, one of the Thantir bosses, did keep a running timer, but he was pretty sure that it was no longer accurate now they were in Phantai territories, and Elksia had admitted that, despite being a Time Drake, had accidentally ‘fucked up her standard perception of time’ or something like that, meaning times and dates were no longer accurate compared to what they were used to.
“Yeah, but… I’m a Vohra.”
“So?” Tenuk tutted. “I’m a horny Kronospast whore, Elkay’s an uptight Rethan prick, Akah’s an awkward Lanex bastard, Teekay is a grumpy Skyan idiot and Phovos is a hormonal Ksithan bitch, but we’re all still friends, right? You’re one of us, Tahvra, always have been, always will be.”
“Uh…” Elksia raised a clawed finger. “You didn’t insult me and Eksi there…”
“You two ain’t former Divine Guardians!” Tenuk frowned. “Plus, you’re my girlfriend, I didn’t want to insult you. Eksi is a stupid loudmouthed little cunt though.”
Eksi just shrugged, not feeling at all insulted. “You’re just upset that you ain’t as cool as you used to be.”
Tenuk frowned some more. “The universe ended, I got mind-raped by Kinisis and forced to be her slave, the universe ended again and we’ve been doing all sorts of insane shit ever since. Of course I’ve changed… Also, you are way, way more annoying than your brother was.”
“Yeah I get that a lot.”
“OH!” Tahvra suddenly perked up. “You have siblings too? How many?”
“Three. We were quadruplets…” Eksi had a hint of unease in his voice.
Tahvra continued to smile, ignoring the weird sensation in his mouth and the taste of blood. “Cool! I had 35 siblings! A whole clutch of baby Vahla! Sure I’m the only one alive because I was semi-immortal the way Phovos and Akah are, but that’s neat! You got, like, the fourth most siblings here!”
Tenuk blinked, then glanced around, doing a quick count in his head. “Uh, who has the most? Because, like, a few of us here have at least two. I had two, Elkay has two half-brothers, Phovos has two, uh, step-siblings, I guess. Did you have any siblings, Akah?”
Akah shrugged. “I did have a brother, but he’s long gone. Sure, the average Lanex can live to 300 years old, but we’re not immune to bullets or explosions, and I only escaped death because I was a Kineseon being.”
“I had three older sisters and a little brother, plus tons of cousins, the Ksiou family was pretty damn huge. Do Kal count as siblings?” Elksia offered her own thoughts as she fiddled with the tips of her arm blades.
“They weren’t ever born…” Tahvra tutted. “They’re completely mechanical and were made in some sort of factory. Nah, Litvir has the most siblings, more than me.”
“Hang on!” Eksi exclaimed, throwing his arms up in confusion and annoyance. “Litvir just has the one sibling, his twin, Kuta! I know because Kuta told me as such before I accepted the job of taking his place and keeping Litvir vaguely sane after he and Retvik fell apart!”
Everyone fell silent and stared at Eksi.
“Is that really the reason you’re here?” Tenuk eventually asked.
“Uh… kinda… Kuta didn’t want to be a Decayling, working at Kinisis’s Life Oasis. He hated it, didn’t feel safe and I’m certain he could sense that Kinisis was fucking with people. He asked Galyn and Kinisis if he could go back to living a mortal life, and Kinisis said yes as long as Kuta picked someone to replace him, to keep Litvir company, because Retvik and Litvir fell apart when Arkay was sent away and Tenuk, Elksia and Phovos, you three started doing Dessaron exploration stuff with Retvik.
“Yisini and Kuta went through a list of beings and I was chosen to replace him because of my enhanced telepathy and my ability to not faint in front of deities. He kinda took my job as a mental crisis worker while I got given back the god powers I was given when the Voidborns invaded. I started work at the oasis, I met Teekay and Elkay and, well… That was that.”
The Decaylings all continued to stare, until Eksi tutted and turned back to Tahvra. “So you’re saying that Litvir, a Rethan, has more siblings than you, a Vohra?”
Tahvra nodded. “I’m a Vahla, specially bred to be intelligent.”
“But how many siblings does Litvir have, aside from Kuta?”
“About a hundred…” Elkay answered in Tahvra’s place. “Litvir and Kuta are the last two members of the Kaldieridos family. Their mother was a psychopath who laid eggs constantly and allowed his children to be experimented on and enslaved, so they could be used to overthrow the Rethan government. Litvir and Kuta, uh, blew up the Kaldieridos headquarters and killed pretty much all of them, then changed their names and reintegrated into Rethan society in secret.”
“Alright, uh…” Eksi frowned some more. “Is anyone here NOT completely and utterly fucked up? I hate to be saying this but I feel like the most normal person here.”
Phovos raised her hand. “I suppose my last reincarnation was normal. I was just a politician, nothing special.”
“I mean, my life was pretty normal as well!” Tahvra smiled. “It’s just that I’d reach the age of 50 and just turn back into an egg. Then I’d hatch again, be castrated again and just live my life again!”
“Yeah, no, that’s still fucked up.”
Tahvra shrugged, then went back to his bowl of honey. Thankfully, the surgery had been quick and easy, and he felt absolutely fine. That however left an odd thought in Tahvra’s mind.
“Uh… where is the doctor?” Tahvra randomly asked. “The Happyblade guy?”
“Dealing with other patients!” Elksia grinned. “Not that there’s that many now! Since we killed the Crystal Doom! We were just waiting in here with you. While your anaesthetic wore off.”
“Have I been asleep for long?”
“Nah, only about two hours, twenty seven minutes and six seconds!”
“Huh…” Tahvra trailed off again, as did everyone else.
Suddenly, someone appeared at the door. Someone massive, but familiar.
“Ah, good, you are all here…” Itaviir grunted as he let himself into the room and closed the door behind him. “First off, how are you feeling, little Tahvra?”
“I’m fine!”
“Good. Now, I have some news for you all. First off, a small explanation. Retvik and Litvir were going to guide you for your Decay Lord trials, as sect leaders normally do, but both they and Galyn are mostly unaware of the changes to the Decay Lord trial system, so Vikalos and I will be doing so instead.”
“Why?” Eksi asked. “Have they changed a lot?”
“They have changed enough for Galyn to not know full protocol, and Retvik and Litvir are understandably jaded due to their own trial…” Itaviir explained. “The good news is, you have completed all the paper tests required for your trial, you have all passed, some of you remarkably so. The… more dangerous news is that your trial has been confirmed and scheduled. An exact date has not been given, they never are, but we know that your trial will be within the next 800 hours. At some point, about 40 hours before your trial starts, we will be delivered eight Trial Bands, which you will have to wear at all times. Sometime within those 40 hours, you will all be forcibly teleported to the location of your trial.”
The Decaylings all glanced at each other. Itaviir knew they were all somewhat nervous.
“While this all sounds scary to you all, I urge you not to worry too much. The eight of you, you have already proven to be talented individuals. However, it is worth noting that, both during and after your trial, you… may find that you may change somewhat.”
“That just makes me feel even more nervous…” Elkay muttered.
“The changes will not be drastic. The original point of Decay Lord trials was a singular, high stress, high adrenaline test, to force the final changes of becoming a Decayon, to solidify one’s identity as a being of the Periuniversal Void. While a handful of you may have minor physical changes, most of these will be mental ones. You will feel better.”
“You seem pretty confident in us!” Elksia chirped. “Like, I’m not concerned at all! But you ain’t confident either!”
Itaviir nodded calmly. “I am very confident in you all. You are, by far, some of the best Decaylings I have ever seen, and we have seen a lot of Decaylings.” With a sigh, Itaviir made his way to the door. “I recommend focusing on combat training and getting as much rest as you can. We will let you know when we have more information. Have a good day, little ones.”
The door gently clicked shut, but none of the Decaylings spoke at first. Eventually, Tahvra climbed off the bed, smiling.
“We’ll be fine! Mister Itaviir said so! We should go and do some training.”
“But you just had surgery…” Teekay exclaimed.
“Yeah, but I’m fine! I’m feeling better than ever, actually! Not scared at all!”
Elkay however just shook his head. “I wish I shared your confidence, little one. Still, you are right, we ought to try and get as much done as possible while we can…”