Kayen and Psiksi had been chilling at Arkay’s place for a while. At first, they felt like they were intruding or getting in the way, but Arkay, better known as Arkadin, the Lord of Death, just seemed really happy to have company. They had sat outside first while the Thantophor did various things inside, but he soon invited them both in.
It turned out, Arkay had redone most of the house interior. There were still four bedrooms, only one them currently in use, but the living room and kitchen area had been tidied up and modernized, looking much more like an upscale Skyavok apartment than the living space of a death god. He’d clearly spent a fortune on bean bags and cushions too. Fluffy, expensive ones, not the cheap ones found in pound stores.
Mostly, Psiksi and Kayen had just sat around, occasionally talking to each other. Arkay would prance out from his bedroom at the other end of the house, showing them various looks. He wanted Psiksi and Kayen to help him pick a good look for a God of Luck, but none of them had stood out so far.
It had been a few hours now. Arkay had gone quiet, clearly he was trying some things in his room. Psiksi and Kayen had also gone a little quiet, but Psiksi’s communicator suddenly vibrating made them both jump.
“Oof. Tenuk’s messaging me, asking where I am.”
“I assume…”
“I’ll just tell him the truth. No need to lie.”
Kayen tutted. “This has happened before.”
“Not quite like this, but the Thantophor, he’s… he’s got a thing for nice Skyavok like us…” Psiksi trailed off as he replied to his messages.
“The same way the Allbirther has a thing for… well, everyone?”
Psiksi looked up at Kayen. “I don’t follow.”
“She wants to screw literally everything.”
Psiksi hesitated. He peered down the hallway to make sure that Arkay was still in his room, then slowly decided to answer.
“No. As far as I’m aware, Arkay’s never actually had sex. He really wants to but has no idea how to go about it. I don’t think anyone ever sat him down and told him about the Lovers’ Guide.”
Kayen snickered. “Clearly. But who can even sit him down and talk to him about those things?”
“I dunno. Us maybe?”
Kayen’s amusement faded. “What?”
“He likes us. More than normal.”
Kayen got up from the sofa and peered down the hallway as well, double-checking that Arkay was still in his room. It occurred to him though that the Thantophor already knew what they were talking about and was already listening to them.
“You’re saying he wants to sleep with us.”
Psiksi smiled a little. “Almost certainly. He’s asked me before. I told him no, because I’m in a relationship with my partner Kass. He immediately backed down and was all shy and apologetic about it.”
“You think he’d ask me?”
“Probably.”
“I don’t want to. Not with…” Kayen shuddered somewhat unwillingly. “It doesn’t seem right. He’s a deity. Literally a death god. Why does he want mere mortals like us?”
“We’re not mere mortals though. We’re important mortals.”
“Yeah but…” Kayen fell silent. They could both hear banging and crashing in the bedroom. Sounded somewhat angry. It quickly subsided though and turned into awkward silence.
Psiksi shook his head. Kayen was starting to understand what Psiksi was getting at.
“You know what?” Kayen eventually sighed. “You’re right. We need to get him laid.”