Dagger Choices

“So why did you accompany us, Tah?”

Tah shrugged as he followed Retvik around the mall, occasionally teleporting forward to catch up. “Why did you insist that Litvir not come on this trip?”

That was a good question. Retvik wasn’t sure if he could answer it right away. Not because Tah was a bad person or anything, quite the opposite. Tah and the rest of his team of tiny Decay Lords were probably some of the kindest entities Retvik knew, perhaps even too kind at times. In fact, the reason why they were at the mall right now was so that Teekay and Elkay could buy the last things they needed for their wedding. Most of the Thantir Eight had tagged along apart from Phovos, since this particular mall didn’t allow entry to Life Goddesses (apparently most didn’t), and Phovos had decided to stay back at Savepoint.

“Well?” Tah asked.

“You go first…” Retvik grunted.

Tah shrugged some more, then clicked. “Nuh wanted to make sure that no one owns more construction toys than he does, and Leh and Koh wanted to make sure that everyone spends their money wisely. Also, the others like to get rid of me occasionally.”

“Um, why?” Retvik was more confused now. “Do you actually get annoyed at each other, like actual siblings?”

“A little? It’s more that I’m the unofficial leader of our team and sometimes they don’t want me around. Mostly because I led us to our initial doom. And we had to share my body for a very long time.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No, not really. When we had Kanuva/Mator around, he said that he and his team of Imperators had to take regular breaks because they got sick of each other too. And, like, don’t you all need regular breaks from each other?”

Retvik grunted again. “Yes, we do. I just find it odd that purely mechanical beings like yourselves have similar hang ups.”

“Well, we’re mechanical, yes, but our brains are still normal, organic brains. For some reason…” Tah paused, then dimmed his eyes briefly. “The Great Beings who designed us Cleansers must have been on drugs or something, because we make very little sense. But back to the original question, why did you suggest Litvir stay back at base?”

More grunts. During the time Kal had spent as official members of the Thantir, they’d noticed that the different species all had different ways of more subtly communicating. While Akah clicked the same way Kal did, the Skyavok and the Threan-type Retha all seemed to tut, the three Rethavok all grunted, Elksia would regularly make weird bird sounds, Phovos rolled her eyes a lot and Tenuk seemed to do all of the above.

“There are two reasons. The first is that, the last time Litvir came here, he encountered another Psion, who seemed to track him and set a horrible telepathic serpent on him, leading to Litvir being paralysed for a little too long. The other reason…”

Retvik hesitated some more, then glanced around. He was clearly checking to see that the coast was clear before speaking.

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course!” Tah clicked.

Retvik paused yet again, then sighed. “I do not know why I am being secretive. Eksi already knows. And I am pretty sure Litvir knows as well, but he is being very polite and quiet about it…”

“Oh!” Tah suddenly exclaimed. “You want to marry Litvir?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you keeping it a secret?”

Retvik frowned, then picked up his pace. This didn’t stop Tah from following him.

“Is something wrong? You and Litvir are both Rethavok, yes? There’s nothing wrong with you two getting married, especially when Elkay and Teekay are getting married and they’re not quite the same species! Plus, you’ve been together for a while.”

“The problem is, I do not know if Litvir wants to marry me. I… have a feeling that he is still unsure, that he still hates himself, and that he is still mourning Arkadin’s… loss… And top of that, I am worried that I am… moving too quickly myself.”

“Oh…” Tah fell silent. Admittedly, he didn’t understand weddings. Or non-sibling relationships. He didn’t even really understand the concept of having parents. “Well, I don’t know about Litvir, from the way the three of you Rethavok talk, Litvir is weird even for a Rethavok. But perhaps I can lend an ear to help you sort out that last point?”

Retvik stopped in his tracks and stared at Tah. “You six seem almost too helpful at times. It is almost suspicious.”

“The six of us were cursed with permanent guilt when we helped kill our universe. Sure, that was, in a way, our destiny, but it’s an awful thing we had no choice but to do. Now we’ve completed our destiny and since we don’t really have any major needs or desires outside of trying to fix our permanent guilt, that allows us to spend time helping others. We don’t have any other ulterior motives.”

“… Huh…” Retvik remained silent for a moment. “Hmph. I suppose saying my thoughts out loud does help me better comprehend them. That was… admittedly something Arkadin used to tell me…”

“Quick question before you continue, is there… some sort of difference between the names Arkadin and Arkay?”

“It… is a bit complicated. Arkadin is the name Kinisis gave him. Arkay is the name he used when he was pretending to be mortal. He would switch between them, but, well, Kaytee and Telecharm both suggest that Arkay was closer to his actual, original name. I… I do not know though, and despite neither of them being liars, things…” Retvik trailed off. “I do not know any more. I lost Gath, I lost Arkay and I nearly lost Litvir, twice. Things have been rough, and I am admittedly struggling.”

“It’s okay to struggle and ask for help. Nothing wrong with asking for help.”

“I do not want help. Not really. I just need to come to a decision. I am going to hold off on my proposal to Litvir, I am going to hold off for a while, because he is still recovering and he needs more time. I just… do not know if I should just buy two partnership daggers, or if I should buy three daggers, on the very slim chance that Arkadin somehow magically manages to come back one day.”

Tah clicked a couple of times, dimmed his eyes, clicked some more then lit his eyes back up again. “Can you afford three daggers?”

Retvik frowned, then nodded. “Yes, I can.”

“Get three then. I mean, considering all the craziness the Thantir have been through? You never know.”

“But it is-”

Tah clicked again and waggled a finger at Retvik. “You never know. I mean, we were out here for, what, 17 year-strings, before we suddenly ran into Kanuva, one of the eight Imperators who originally destroyed us. Arkay isn’t dead, he’s just… mind-wiped, I think? His universe will die of natural causes at some point, we’ll know when that happens and we can just, I don’t know, pick him up then. My point is, you never know out here. So better safe than sorry, right?”

More frowning, followed by more nodding and some relenting. “I guess you are right. Can you leave me alone now, please?”

“Hah! Of course! I’ll go and annoy someone else, I guess.”

“Are you not going to buy something for yourself?” Retvik asked.

“Like what?”

“Good point.”

Tah clicked once more, but it was a happy click. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it. See you back at the ship!”

Before Retvik could say goodbye, Tah vanished in a puff of sparks. Retvik remained still for a moment. He sighed to himself, then made his way to the nearest weapon store. He had daggers to buy.