“You knew her, right?”
Arkay glanced up to see who was talking to him. He’d been sitting on his own for a bit, trying to get over a sudden panic of his. The original plan was for Arkay to start doing little tasks for the Thantir, and Litvir had suggested that he could work as a greeter, saying hello to new clients, leading them to the waiting area and helping prioritize patients. But the third client who had come in today, apparently a regular, Arkay recognized her, calmly led her to the waiting area, handed his duties over to Teekay then rushed off to a corner to have a mental breakdown.
“Yeah. She’s one of Kinisis’s sisters. I… unwillingly met her when I was a Veth. Pretty thankful she didn’t really recognize me, to be honest.”
Kaytee shrugged. “Do you want to talk? I know you asked to be left alone, but Retvik thought that maybe talking to someone from… closer to that time might be helpful.”
Arkay thought for a moment, then sighed and nodded. “You’re right. After all, you know what a Veth is. No one else here does.”
“Well, I did kinda briefly turn into one…” Kaytee sighed. “During that stupid Soul Rupture thing. Woke up in the middle of nowhere, fucking walked to Palaestra and you helped me save General Photeianos. Also, turns out, I was destined to become a Veth in the end. The seventh Loopblade was in fact a Veth.”
“I… I need to message Telecharm Teekay and have a chat with him. But you…” Arkay put his head in his hands. “I killed my brothers. Six times. Before Kairos killed me and reset time back to a certain point. And every time, you rushed off, to try and save them, only to fall out of the universe… I fucked you up…”
Kaytee hesitated for a moment. “You didn’t. Really, the more I think about it, it’s my fault all this happened.”
“… What?”
Kaytee hesitated some more, then sat down next to Arkay. “Late at night, when I can’t sleep, I often think that, had I not dumped you, had I not tossed you to one side like an unwanted pet, none of this would have happened. Having a boyfriend, someone to love you, would have given you a reason to get better, rather than withering away in the Ksa Hospital where our bossed kinda dumped you. While it would have been better to have a reason to live on your own, I think having a reason to live for me would… have made you happier. And since you wouldn’t have been trying to date Kass after I rejected you, you wouldn’t have gone down that alley and… died.”
“Have you… really been blaming yourself all this time?”
“A little.”
Arkay rubbed tears from his eyes. “I am so sorry… It was never your fault. I deserved to be dumped by you, because I was a disaster magnet and you rightfully didn’t want to get caught up in my permanent mess. And even if you hadn’t dumped me? Kinisis would have forced me to take that deal for your life instead of the lives of my brothers. I was condemned, no matter what. And the one chance I had to escape? I hesitated, I blinked and Kinisis stole me away, denying me that chance.”
“I still feel like-”
“It’s not your fault, Teekay. It never was. You wanted to be happy. And my trying to be with you didn’t make you happy. I was cursed. Yes, it fucking sucked, you saying you didn’t want to see me again, while I was recovering from… all of that… but I made your life miserable. And I never ever considered it your fault. If anything, as Kinisis tore my insides out and replaced them with the stuff you find in stars, I was glad that I hadn’t dragged anyone else into my mess, and that my family was safe.”
“Except…”
“Yeah…” Arkay went back to sighing. “I… I don’t know why… why it took me, apparently, seven attempts for me to refuse Kinisis’s demands and not harm my siblings. And it bothers me that I hurt so, so many people in the process…” Arkay paused, then went back to rubbing his eyes. “I let a broken contract dictate my very existence for billions of years. I could have, I should have broken free. But I didn’t.”
Kaytee disagreed. “You didn’t exactly have a choice. The contract ended when our fucking universe ended, according to Telecharm. But Kinisis enslaved you and you kinda never got the chance to break free.”
“Every chance I had, I let them all slip through my fingers. When I saved Thassalin from his universe? I could have left. I could have gone anywhere. But I willingly walked back to my own cage and closed the door behind me.”
“You didn’t know there was a society outside the relative safety of your home universe!” Kaytee protested. “How were you supposed to know? It’s sheer fucking luck that us fucking Loopblades made it out, and that was only because One made it out first, lucked out, got picked up by the Phantai and was then present to save the rest of us! That monster did everything in her power to keep you enslaved! She kept freedom and knowledge from you. But you got out in the end. You won.”
“I… I guess I did… I’m… just scared I’ll end up enslaved again…” Arkay whimpered.
“Ugh…” Kaytee put an arm around Arkay. “I totally get that. Sometimes I wake up and panic and think I’m still on the Shimmering Blade, being the lowest member of a team of six identical assholes. And it makes things worse knowing that there’s TWO fucking Teekays out there who are better than me.”
Arkay paused, then glanced behind him. “I don’t think Skyan Teekay… really counts. Very different stories. And… I didn’t know Telecharm Teekay married my brother.”
“Mhm. As far as I remember, Eksi and I… uh, your brother Eksi, not Skyan Eksi, we were serious, but nowhere near the getting married stage…” Kaytee paused. “Speaking of which, you… you know Veekay is alive, right?”
“Yeah. Litvir told me, via text chat a few weeks before everything went down. He’s a Voidborn, calling himself Vekeus now, right?”
“Yep.”
“Huh… I wonder if my other brothers are alive?”
Kaytee’s eyes widened. “Really?”
Arkay shrugged. “Out of the six of us, ironically, I was the mortal one, with a mortal mother and father. Veekay’s dad was Kenostaton, who I killed, Arksi, Eksi, Psiksi and Thitaksi’s dad was Kairos, who hasn’t had kids since. I… I don’t know who Elkay-En’s father was.”
Kaytee suddenly snorted. “I’m pretty sure Elkay once claimed his father was a fucking Corruption or something.”
“Hmm. Been a while since someone called him Elkay.”
It was Kaytee’s turn to shrug. “To be fair, you only ever called him “Boss” or “brother”. He used to insist I call him Elkay when off work, and he HATED being called Elkay-En in private, because it reminded him of the fact that he was always inches away from being recaptured and turned into an N-Class Ksa. Also, I am pretty sure he was the only member of your family who wasn’t an apogen Ksa…” Kaytee paused for a moment. “Actually, I take that back. Only on your mother’s side. None of your fathers were Ksa, and I’m pretty sure the Mage’s father wasn’t a Ksa either, they were a former Vice General.”
“Being a Vice General also runs in the family, I guess…” Arkay tutted. “But I barely remember how any of my blood family looks like, and I don’t even know my father’s actual name. Not sure I want to know any more, since everyone called them the Defiler.”
“It was a long time ago. For you. For me, it’s only been, what, a decade? If there’s anything you want to remember, I’m willing to help.”
“I appreciate that, Teekay… oh… sorry, Kaytee.”
Kaytee smiled. “It’s fine. It’s only been about six 4-evs, and I still sometimes call myself Six.”
Arkay sighed in agreement. “I still keep on introducing myself as a god of death. Makes me sound like a fucking idiot, but it’s just… almost instinct these days.”
“It passes…” Kaytee eyed Arkay briefly. “I’m… also open to other things… if you… if you want… I mean, I know you already have a flaming hunk and a very confident vampire at your fingertips, but… well…” Kaytee trailed off. “Eh. Forget I said anything.”
“Hah… I’ll consider it…”
“Really?”
Arkay smiled slightly. “Yeah. I think we both forgive each other and there’s still feelings there. Also Litvir keeps on suggesting I ought to sleep around a bit, since he thinks I have catching up to do and fantasies to fulfil.”
Kaytee blinked in surprise. “Damn. I often forget just how… weird and horny Litvir is.”
“Kuta is just as bad, they just hide it better. Mostly because Kuta always had a crush on fiery Retvik then accidentally stumbled on a younger, cuter, more accepting Retvik of their own, who is totally down to let Kuta do all the weird things they always wanted to do to him.”
Yet again, Arkay fell silent. So did Kaytee.
“Did you accidentally do an Eksi?”
“Is that what everyone calls breaking your telepahic filter and saying too much?”
“Yeah.”
Arkay shrugged. “I guess I did.”
Kaytee smiled some more, then patted Arkay on the back. “It’s fine. We all do it occasionally. You feeling any better?”
“A little, yeah.”
“Want to get something to drink and talk a bit more?”
“Yeah, sure.”