Failed Temptations

“So, what can we get you?”

Psiksi leaned on the table next to the Lord of Death, smiling eerily. Tenuk sat opposite them, keeping an eye on them both, praying that the young Skyavok did nothing to piss off a being who controlled the fate of the universe.

“A lot of things.”

“Like what? Respect? Worship? I can get you that. Money? I got that. Love? I’m taken but I’m sure I can find someone…”

Arkadin rolled his eyes, then started bashing his head on the table. “No no no, you don’t get it. There are things I want that you can’t even comprehend!”

Psiksi fell silent for a moment, then smiled again. “This is a family thing, isn’t it?”


“It totally is. I can see it in your eyes.”

“It isn’t.”

“It is!”

“How do you know?”

Psiksi smiled yet again, but this time not as enthusiastically. “You’re one of four kids. At least that’s what Tenuk says. And you’re the one being responsible. And doing all the work. And hurting yourself.”

“No, it is more like we all have duties and those retards are constantly trying to stop me from doing mine because they don’t like being finite! So now I’ve stopped doing my duties, and you fucktards are all wondering why nothing is working! I can’t win no matter what I do!”

“This brings us back to the original conversation. Here I am, offering something to make you want to do your job again.”

A loud bang was heard outside. Tenuk and Psiksi both immediately turned to see what it was, but Arkadin simply ignored it.

The Whenvern, the Dragon God of Time, had awkwardly landed on the patio outside, his massive tail splashing into the swimming pool.

“Hello? Can I talk to you?” the Whenvern’s voice wobbled as it tapped on the windows. “Arkadin? I would like to talk! Tell you that maybe you were right?”

“It’s totally a sibling thing…” Psiksi whispered.

“I am giving them exactly what they want. A universe without death, without entropy…” Arkadin sneered. “I am not going to change my mind.”

“So you’re…” Tenuk finally spoke. “You’re going to let the universe suffer? Just to prove a point?”

“Do you have any idea how many years I have wasted trying to convince the universe via other means? Far too many.”

“So you make us all suffer…” Tenuk tutted. “That’s not like you.”

Arkadin stared at Tenuk, then got up from his seat. He stormed across the room and disappeared down the hallway, immediately taking a right hand turn. Tenuk and Psiksi heard the sound of a panel opening, a switch being flicked then a panel being slammed shut. Arkadin reappeared at the entrance of the hallway, sighing.

“You’re right. That’s not like me. It’ll take about three hours for everything to settle down…”

“Is that all it takes?” Psiksi asked. “The flip of a switch?”

The Thantophor nodded.

“Oh…” Psiksi went back to smiling. “Well that’s good. You did the half of the deal that we were going to do anyway. That means we can do something for you.”

The Whenvern outside was wandering around, patiently waiting for Arkadin to come out and talk to him. The Thantophor though didn’t care.

“Come on. Let us do something for you.”

“There is nothing I want.”

“There must be!”

“There is but I cannot have it…” Arkadin finally relented. “It would be… wrong…”

Psiksi glanced back at Tenuk, grinned, then turned to Arkadin. “You’re the God of Death. Surely it can’t be that immoral!”

“They said no. And I am saying no. There is nothing you can help me with.”

There was another noise from outside, a heavy splashing sound. A massive, purple, serpentine creature was splashing around in Arkadin’s pool.

“You two should go…” Arkadin sighed as he disappeared back down the hallway. “Before Yisini tries to seduce you both.”