Shocktrooper: Hey EΞ
Soulsoother: What? Also, FFS TK, we have telepathy.
Shocktrooper: Dude I know, but my telepathy sucks & we’re kinda hiding from an angry Life Goddess.
Shocktrooper: Anyway turns out Akah spent all his money on the stuff we needed for TBP & isn’t letting me or LK buy anything outside of one thing we kinda needed for TBP anyway.
Shocktrooper: Can you lot like get Akah a gift? Me and LK will chip in OFC.
Soulsoother: K fine.
Shocktrooper: THNX dude.
Eksi tutted to himself as he sipped whatever the hell it was he was drinking. The picture of the front consisted of some weird, orange fruits, so he expected the drink to taste like orange, but it tasted more like a mixture of orange, pineapple and pear. Sitting with him were Tenuk and Elksia, who were sharing a massive pink strawberry milkshake, and Phovos, who was wearing a new t-shirt she had bought. Next to them was a large pile of shopping bags which Tenuk had been gentlemanly carrying around with his stupidly long tail, but the rest of him was currently shapeshifted into a blue, male version of Elksia.
“So guys, Akah is an idiot and spent all his money on stuff for The Big Plan, and Teekay says we should buy Akah a gift.”
Tenuk shrugged. “I mean, Akah’s done a ton of nice stuff for everyone lately. He’s been helping me and Elkay with our shapeshifting, he’s been going out on patrols with Elksia and Retvik, he offered to go and do all the shopping for Kal and for our Big Plan so we could all chill, and he’s been all-round chill and understanding with all of us.”
Phovos nodded in agreement, taking a gulp from the bottle of plain water she’d been carrying around all day. “He’s had it hard as well. Don’t think anyone’s called him a Voidborn here, but I bet everyone’s been calling him a Melek-Glatoran or whatever they’re called. We should get him something nice.”
“Like what?” Eksi asked. “Like, I know fuck all about Lanex, and I’m not in the mood to use my retarded randomly-knowing-stuff powers right now. Gives me a headache.”
Again, Tenuk shrugged. “Yeah, that’s fair. To be honest, the Lanex were Deiton slaves and we hardly knew about them, and the Anexartans didn’t even seem to know that Lanex need water occasionally. It’s amazing any Nexian races even made it to modern times…” Tenuk trailed off, flicking away a few errant feathers. “Hm… Well, we can’t really buy him a mask or armour, Lanex like to customize that shit themselves. I’d suggest a new weapon but Akah loves that shield of his. Can’t really get him food or anything, and, while Akah seems to always use chopsticks to eat, buying him some of those seems kinda cheap… I dunno, I’m stuck…”
Elksia tutted. “I ain’t got a clue either… OH! Hiya!”
The benches the Decaylings were sitting at creaked loudly as Galyn sat himself down. Surprisingly, he had a bag of shopping on him, but whatever was inside sounded rather loose.
“Hello, younglings. I require your assistance on something.”
Tenuk suddenly burst out laughing. “The mighty Leafblade? Needing help? Why?“
Phovos reached over and smacked Tenuk across the head. “Shut up, you cunt. Sorry, Galyn, what’s up?”
Galyn snorted, rather amused by how the Decaylings were acting. “I need to buy gifts for Vikalos and Itaviir. Apology gifts, to make up for having split us apart. While getting a gift for Itaviir is pretty simple but cannot be done here, I need to buy something for Vikalos and, while yes, I will buy him a scarf, I will buy him several scarfs, I want to do more than that. So what can I get for Vikalos as a gift?”
“Huh… That’s actually a good question… What are you getting for Itaviir?” Phovos asked. “Just, for context.”
“Phantai tradition dictates I must kill a high-ranked Voidborn on my own, disembowel it with my claws and then remove its head and present it to the being I have wronged. I am also going to buy Itaviir a starry shawl that I saw in one of the shops where I was looking for scarfs, but I cannot decide between black or blue.”
Phovos shrugged. “That’s a pretty good gift.”
“That’s a really messy gift…” Tenuk frowned.
“Yeah, true, but Itaviir will probably appreciate it! I’d go for the black shawl though. Sure, Itaviir is blue and silver but the black will match with more stuff.” Eksi suggested.
Galyn bowed his head somewhat. “I appreciate the advice. Still, I am at a loss when it comes to Vikalos.”
“Eh same here!” Elksia chirped. “We wanna buy a gift for Akah but, like, he’s a Lanex. Lanex are really content beings! When they’re not slaves of course.”
“Or being called Voidborns…” Phovos added.
“Yeah. Or that.”
Galyn turned his attention to Eksi. Eksi knew exactly why. Galyn was much more aware of Eksi’s supernatural knowledge than anyone else.
“No, Galyn. Not risking the brain rot.”
“Bribes can be made.” Galyn fished around in his shopping bag, then pulled out an energy drink, a large bar of chocolate and a packet of paracetamol. The bar of chocolate seemed normal-sized in Galyn’s hands but huge for Eksi.
Eksi eyed the chocolate bar. It was good chocolate. High quality stuff. The stuff he and Teekay had bought at the last mall they had visited, and the pair of them had eaten in one sitting. The chocolate they couldn’t get on the main Phantai ship. With a long, drawn out sigh, Eksi took all three items, ripped open the pain killers, opened the can of drink and immediately downed four tablets.
“Alright, fine…” Eksi closed his eyes and fell silent. He hated doing this out in the open, and the fact that he was in a mall, surrounded by vast strangers, made focusing on specific things very hard. Using his aura-based telepathy, Eksi located Vikalos and quickly and silently scanned his mind. While he was at it, he searched for Akah and briefly looked into the icy Lanex’s head as well, before pulling back and opening his eyes again.
“So?”
Eksi tutted. “Galyn, you REALLY need to buy Vikalos some more jackets. He just has ten of the same jacket that he just washes and wears over and over. But don’t buy him a scarf. There’s a fabrics shop on the third floor, buy some nice fabrics and make Vikalos some handmade scarfs. However, while those will be nice gifts, that’s not what Vikalos wants. He’s been watching Retvik and Litvir getting close and it’s reminding him of your early days as a trio. Buy a nice bottle of wine, buy a blanket, take Vikalos out on a picnic and watch the stars, then pull him close and kiss him. And if you can bring Itaviir into this picnic as well, you’ll all be super happy again.”
Tenuk crossed his arms and tutted loudly. “You complain that Elksia and Elkay all have bullshit powers and you can do shit like this?“
“You didn’t mention me there…” Phovos muttered.
“You’re a Life Goddess, you’re supposed to have bullshit powers but don’t yet because… I dunno why. But the Three Es all have bullshit powers.”
“My powers are not bullshit!” Elksia protested. “I’m a Time Drake! What I do is perfectly normal!”
Galyn raised a finger. “Actually, Elksia, your presence among the Phantai has actually altered their on-ship local time systems by 0.11 seconds. It is not your fault, you subconsciously make time match your personal connection to the Forward Flow and the Phantai don’t have a local Time Drake to do that, but considering your age and skill level, Tenuk’s point is actually pretty fair.”
Elksia snapped her beak, then stole the rest of the milkshake they were sharing. Tenuk realized he was totally going to have to buy Elksia some flowers or something later. Galyn turned back to Eksi and bowed his head again.
“Thank you for the information, Eksi.”
Eksi shook his head, clearing it briefly. “No worries. Also, you should all shut up because Vikalos and Tahvra are coming.”
Right on cue, Vikalos and Tahvra arrived, both of them carrying bags of shopping. One of the bags Vikalos was holding was filled with scarfs, which didn’t really surprise any of the other Thantir. Tahvra however, he was holding a rather bulky bag that seemed to be filled with plastic. The first thing Tahvra did was scramble onto the bench next to Eksi and slam down a plastic canister with a red lid.
“I FOUND MINI CLEANSER TOYS!” Tahvra squeaked with excitement, showing everyone what he had bought. “LOOK! IT IS A MINI TAH! There was this thing called a Technic Build-A-Character shop and they had a bunch of ready-made characters from some sort of toy line and I found our friends!“
Eksi glanced at the bag Tahvra had been dragging around. There were eleven other similar canisters with differently coloured lids. He also spotted two plastic bags which seemed to be filled with loose pieces.
Phovos took the canister from Tahvra to better inspect it. “Damn. These are… scarily accurate. Alright Kal don’t seem to have the scaly flame patterns on their head plates, and these toys don’t seem to have actual hands, but damn.”
“I know right!” Tahvra beamed. “I got them one each, plus a set of six for me, and using the pieces from Build-A-Character, I got enough to build a mini robot version of me and Akah as well!”
“Uh, you got pieces to build a mini version of Akah?” Tenuk looked confused. Tahvra took the canister from Phovos and shoved it back in the bag, then pulled out one of the plastic bags. Tahvra then showed it to Tenuk. In a small, clear viewing window, Tenuk could see a handful of pieces that could feasibly look like parts of Akah’s mask and armour. Tahvra quickly snatched the pack before Tenuk could see any more, and shoved it back into his main bag. “Can I ask… why?”
“Because Akah’s my best friend, of course! I’m gonna give the mini version of me to Akah so we have one of each other because we’re besties!” Tahvra continued to beam. Phovos and Elksia both couldn’t help but smile, they hadn’t seen Tahvra this bubbly before.
“Oh, that’s good!” Eksi smiled back. “That means you could help us! We want to get a present for Akah because he’s been having a hard time lately, what with everyone being mean and calling him a Voidborn when he’s not, but we don’t know Akah as well as you and we don’t know what to get him.”
Tahvra paused for a moment. “Can’t you, like, just use your magic knowledge powers?”
Eksi’s smile faded. “I could, but I thought I’d ask you first. Since he is your best friend.”
“Ah…” Tahvra fell silent. Even for him, the question was pretty hard, because, outside of meeting someone more like himself, Akah had never really expressed any specific desires to Tahvra. Eventually though, Tahvra looked up again and smiled. “We should get him a leather jacket.”
“Why?” Tenuk was saying that word a lot.
“When Kal saved us from floating endlessly, we went to a Life Goddess Oasis and they had a clothing shop. Akah saw this cool leather jacket that he liked, and Kal even offered to buy it for him, but it didn’t fit. Maybe we can find one that does fit here!”
“I could probably sneak up on Akah, slow time down and measure him up?” Elksia added. “So we can definitely know it will fit?”
“Should work!” Phovos pulled a handy tape measure out of one of her own shopping bags, the four of them had been using it while shopping for clothes for her and Elksia. “You can do this without being caught, right?”
Elksia tweeted loudly. “Hah! Duh! Of course I can!”
“This is all very sweet of you!” Vikalos beamed. “Do you want any assistance?”
“Nah, we got this!” Eksi waved his hand dismissively. “Go buy some more scarfs.”
Vikalos couldn’t help but laugh as he got up, grabbing his shopping bags as he did so.. Galyn got up at the same time. “Very well. Tahvra, do you want to come?”
“I’m gonna stay with my Decayling buddies, thanks!”
Vikalos shrugged then turned to Galyn. “How about you?”
Galyn frowned. “I need to, uh, buy some private things on my own…” He glanced at Eksi, then sighed. “But… we could meet at the restaurants in a couple of hours if you wish?”
“Oh! That would be lovely!” Vikalos exclaimed. “I shall see you then. Have a good one, everyone!”
Vikalos wandered off with a smile on his face. Galyn hesitated, silently thanked the Decaylings, then disappeared. Considering that Galyn was 4m tall, he was a weirdly stealthy creature.
“So, you lot wanna get a bite to eat, get some fresh drinks then go find a jacket for Akah?” Tenuk asked his fellow Decaylings.
“Sounds like a plan to me!” Eksi shrugged, downing his energy drink, then pocketing his bribe of painkillers and chocolate. “Come on, let’s get moving…”