“Uh, hi again…”
Sini crossed her arms as she stared at the small, black, furry Ksithan standing in front of her. The Ksithan that had randomly just started coughing and spluttering, before straightening itself out and awkwardly rubbing its neck.
“Why do you only ever visit me when you need me, little Arkay?” Sini growled, moving to one side so that the Thantophor could enter. The last time he’d been here, he’d left black, corrosive blood all over Sini’s floor, and there were still a handful of scratches and grooves where Sini hadn’t managed to clean everything up.
“I’d visit more, but you and Epani don’t really like me and get visibly annoyed whenever I am around…” Arkay almost whispered. “Plus, it’s not like I can go to a normal doctor or anything.”
“True, true…” The Allbirther started walking down the main hall, silently suggesting that Arkay follow. “That being said, you never come to me for medication, you always insist I give you a prescription or something.”
“The last time you directly gave me medication, I woke up a week later missing a kidney. Sure, it grew back, but still.”
“And, unfortunately, I learned nothing from it, since the kidney evaporated four minutes after I removed it from you. Yet you always come to me for medical aid.”
“Again, I can’t really go and see a mortal doctor. I mean, I did try that, I did call a Skyavok doctor, but they just gave me a prescription for some tablets that didn’t seem to do anything. Probably because I’m not really a Skyavok.”
Sini didn’t respond and kept on walking. Arkay diligently followed, coughing occasionally as he did so. Both deities were clearly annoyed by the coughing, but the held-in coughs were what Sini found even more of a nuisance.
Eventually, they made it to a small waiting room, after having taken far too many twists and turns. Like everything else, the floor was marble and the walls were made of crystals, with the occasional vine running across them.
“Stay here.”
Arkay nodded. Sini scraped her claw against the wall, forming a doorway, which she walked through. However, she wasn’t gone long, and quickly reappeared wearing a doctor’s gown. Which wasn’t too bad since she had been blatantly naked beforehand.
“Alright, come in.”
The Thantophor hesitated, then followed Sini inside this new room, which was clearly a doctor’s office. Inside was a desk with a computer screen on it, three chairs and a bed. Sini wandered around to her side of the desk and sat down. Arkay sat in one of the empty seats on the opposite side.
“So, what’s bothering you, little one?”
Arkay coughed again. “Uh, this cough.”
“Anything aside from that?”
“Well, it was just the cough. But now it’s also a sore throat and pain when I swallow, as well as pain in my ears and random fluctuations in my body temperature. Mostly temperature drops, since you know I keep my body hot to kill anything organic that tries to get inside of me.”
“Is that why you are currently a black, furry Ksithan with yellow cuffs?” Sini asked.
“Yeah. I thought it’d be a good idea to try and keep warm.”
“Hmm…” Sini jotted something down, then switched to her computer. Arkay coughed some more, then shifted in his seat awkwardly. The fact that Sini didn’t have an immediate answer somewhat worried him.
The Allbirther tapped away at her keyboard some more, still muttering to herself. The silence was getting a little bit too much, even if it was occasionally punctuated by Arkay coughing. After a good couple of seconds of Arkay’s spluttering though, Sini turned back to Arkay.
“What have you been doing lately?”
“Like… what?” Sini’s question confused the Thantophor.
“Anything, really. Anything that might stick out.”
“Uh, not… much… I had a drink with some friends on Saturday, but that shouldn’t-”
“You don’t have friends.”
“I do now.”
“Is it those…” Sini lowered her voice. “Those… weird mortals?”
“The ones that helped me destroy your torture lab? Yes.”
The Allbirther tutted, then shook her head. “No, getting drunk doesn’t make you ill like this. I was more talking about work things. When was the last time you got rid of some corruption?”
“Friday. What has that got to do with anything?”
“Is that where that cut on your lip came from?” Sini responded with a question of her own. “You like to keep your scars as reminders of your fractured past. But that one is new. And it is still visible, despite your changed form.”
Arkay glanced downwards, then looked around for a mirror. He was unaware that the cut was still there. “Um, I guess so… Sini, what is going on?”
Sini got up from her desk and wandered over to a shelf in the corner, removing something off of it. “Most likely, you probably just have a viral infection since your immune system and healing abilities have been working overtime and are currently exhausted, doubly so since I was, um, not completely here and wasn’t allowing you access to normal godly healing systems. Buuut I want to get you checked for corruption. Just in case.”
Arkay stood up in shock. “Corruption? But I can’t get corrupted! You and Epani made sure of that when you remade me to be your death god! And… how would a viral infection get inside me? My internal body temperature hovers at around 100C.”
“Well extremophiles exist!” Sini smiled just a little. “I’ve created all sorts of life. Anything microscopic, there’s always extreme versions that can live in extreme conditions, and there’s definitely microorganisms that can survive at temperatures above boiling point…”
“What about the corruption though?”
“Well, uh…” Sini didn’t respond as quickly this time. “It’s probably nothing, since you seem to be otherwise functioning fine and you haven’t gone feral.”
Sini stopped smiling, and started unwrapping something long and thin. Arkay quickly realized what it was. A couple of sample collectors.
“I’m going to have to-”
“Take some samples.”
“Yeah…” Sini tutted. “I need you to be in your base form though. Can you change back please?”
“Yeah, sure.” Arkay turned away from Sini, then started clawing at himself. Slowly, his fur began to tear away from his body, revealing his more familiar rubbery skin and organic plating underneath. Sini quickly remembered why Arkay always insisted on shapeshifting in private, since he had originally learned to shapeshift differently from his fellow deities. Thankfully, the old, dead Ksithan parts of Arkay melted away into nothing, rather than littering the office.
Sini waited for Arkay to finish, then pushed him down onto the chair.
“Head up, please.”
Arkay did as instructed, closing his eyes as Sini shoved one swab deep into each of his nostrils, then forced another down his throat. Satisfied, Sini sealed each sample inside a thin tube, then returned to her desk, scribbling away on a sheet of paper.
“Did you have to-”
“Of course. Need to go nice and deep for the best samples…” Sini trailed off, still scribbling,before handing the sheet of paper to Arkay. “Alright, here’s a short course of antibiotics, one every twelve hours, with food. Take every tablet, and do so for seven days. Do not skip any tablets. I’ve also included a prescription for some cough syrup and some pain killers, so you’re not too uncomfortable.”
Arkay grunted, taking the prescription and reading it to himself. It all seemed pretty normal. “How long will it take for the test results to come in?”
“Not sure yet, but I wouldn’t worry too much. Even if it is corruption, we have systems in place for this sort of thing.”
“Even for me, your resident corruption killer?”
“Even for you.”
Feeling somewhat reassured, Arkay got up. “Thank you, Sini. I appreciate the help.”
“No worries, Arkay!” Sini smiled. “Do try and visit me more often though. Just because we are opposites, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends!”
The Thantophor sighed as he made his way out of the office, before disappearing in a puff of black smoke and the scent of cut grass. “Yeah, sure, I’ll… try…”