Post-Midnight Slime


Sini leaped into the room, making the door frame wobble, then jumped into the lone bed, squishing the poor soul who had been occupying it.

“Fffhhhphhhggg-Get off me!” a voice gasped from underneath the blanket. “Sini, what the fuck is going on?” Arkay eventually managed to pull himself out from underneath Sini, only to realise that the Temthan was naked yet again, aside from a rather thin skirt.

“Arkay! Something happened!”

“What?” Arkay glanced around the room, trying to find his wristband, which Sini had knocked onto the floor. He reached out of bed and picked it up, only to roll his eyes. It was not long past midnight, really, really early morning, and he’d only been asleep for about half an hour.

“I had a really awesome time with this guy! We really hit it off and I went back to his place and we fucked and it was awesome! I’m… I’m a bit sore though because his dick was huge and it turns out this body is a virgin one. But I have questions. Lots of them.”

“Ugh…” Arkay sat up, pushing Sini off him, then rolled onto his side, trying to pull his blanket over himself. “I don’t want to hear about any of this.”

Sini whimpered slightly. “But… But I… I need your help.”

“I don’t care. I want to sleep. I told you to not go out and get fucked and you ignored me. You can deal with the consequences.”

Arkay grunted, closing his eyes and trying to ignore Sini. But Sini remained where she was, quietly whimpering and whining, being subtly annoying. Arkay would have been willing to put up with Sini, but she soon started kicking her legs and wobbling about, which was far too annoying for Arkay to put up with.

Giving up, Arkay rolled over again then sat up straight, pushing Sini off his tired, slightly crushed legs.

“So what is your damn problem?”

“Sex is better than I imagined it would be. Is it a first time thing or is it because I’m in this body?”

Arkay tutted. “Why the heck would I know. Why are you even asking me?”

“Because…” Sini paused. “I dunno. No one else is awake.”

“And why do you think that is?” Arkay hissed. “It’s past midnight. Ebania has work tomorrow. Voltiidro has duties tomorrow. I’m hopefully meeting with Kayen again tomorrow. We’re all tired and trying to sleep and…” Arkay paused, having spotted something on the bed. With a small blast of telekinetic power, he threw Sini off the bed and onto the floor, then bagged up his blanket and dragged it down into the kitchen, immediately throwing it in the washing machine. “You are fucking gross!”

Sini picked herself up and followed Arkay downstairs. “That’s what I wanted to ask. Is it normal to be that drippy after sex?”

“Will you stop fucking asking me these things?” Arkay was struggling to remain even remotely calm and even. “You wake me up in the middle of the fucking night, cover my favourite blanket with slime then start asking the fucking virgin Skyavok all these retarded questions about Temthan sex! I thought you had a fucking brain, Sini, but no, you’re being a fucking idiot!” Arkay abruptly stopped. “Please tell me, in the name of our holy mother and Allmaker, that you used protection?”

Sini blinked. “Protection?”

“You know, a condom?”

“Oh. No, of course not.”

Arkay took a long, drawn out breath, then another.

“Sini, you’re a fucking retard…” The exhausted Skyan had just about given up. “Set your alarm for 7am. First thing tomorrow, we are taking you to a sex clinic to get you checked out.”


“No buts. I’m not risking any fucking pregnancies around here…” Arkay slammed the door of the washing machine shut, then started to wearily climb the stairs, heading back to his room. “Now go to bed, before I unintentionally become a death god again and murder the fuck out of you.”