It had been a very, very long time since Tenuk had been forced to get between Retvik and Elksia. Back when they (Retvik and Elksia) were young, both of them were quite fiery. Elksia was energetic and quick to anger, Retvik was always overly proud and unwilling to admit he was wrong. As they aged, as they worked and fought together, both of them had calmed down and found a middle ground over time, and the arguments became non-existent. When their best friend passed away, those arguments did briefly return, but Tenuk understood why, grief did that to people. But today, something was genuinely wrong for Elksia, who had completely mellowed out over the years, to suddenly revert to her young, hot-headed self. Technically, these days, Retvik was always hot-headed but only because he could now control and produce fire.
“Alright, alright, calm the fuck down!” Tenuk had made himself incredibly large. He was using his old, Rethavok-like shape, but bigger than normal, so he towered over both Elksia and Retvik and had enough of a presence to keep them both at arm’s length. “Elksia, I get it, you’re clearly really fucking angry about… something, but you’re talking a mile a minute.”
“Retvik did nothing! Arkay needed his help and Retvik just sat there and let Athanatea threaten him!”
“Arkadin snapped and purposefully turned himself into Arkidetelos! He was a threat to all of us! I had to stop him from destroying everything!”
“You didn’t have to! You wouldn’t have needed to if you’d just… SAID SOMETHING!”
“That Life Goddess-”
“Athanatea was threatening Arkay! He was scared! He thought she wanted to force him to make a whole fucking universe with her!”
“He should have just kept on saying no! But yet again, Arkadin lost his temper and got violent. He went too far! Again!”
“You should have stood by his side and said no with him! He was panicking! She was mocking his entire existence! Blaming him for those Voidborns! You know! The ones related to the one that FUCKING ATTACKED HIM!”
“Arkadin is a god of death, he should have been able to handle the situation like an adult. But no, Arkadin CHOSE to become Arkidetelos!” Retvik paused, then crossed his arms and snarled. “Why are you getting angry at me, Elksia, when Litvir was also present!”
“Litvir was just as scared as Arkay was! And Athanatea turned off his telepathy. But you KNOW Arkay! He was, like the child you never had when we were mortal! He looked up to you! And you let him down!”
“What was I supposed to do then, since you know so much?” Retvik suddenly roared. “Arkadin is billions of years old! He KNEW BETTER!”
“But he didn’t know better…” Tenuk interrupted. “Decayling Arkay wasn’t the same as Death God Arkadin. Kinisis blew him up, shattered him and scattered his body across the periuniversal void, and Arkay was a tiny slither of him, slowly trying to regain his strength. When we first met Arkay, sure, he appeared as a 15 year old Skyavok but he was still aware he was Arkadin, the Thantophor deep down. When we helped Arkay destroy that Voidborn base, he had very little grip on anything. Sure, you, Arkay and Litvir did your Decay Lord Trial, but he was totally a powerful but terrified and easily influenced child the last time Elksia or I saw him.”
Elksia growled, then nodded in agreement. “Arkay was hoping you would help him. He was hoping you would do something. That you would tell the nasty Life Goddess ‘no’. Because she didn’t listen to Arkay’s cries of ‘no’. She was guilt-tripping him into doing something he was terrified of! And you JUST STOOD THERE!”
“I… I did not know what to do!” Retvik snarled. “How was I supposed to know what to do?”
“I saw everything through your eyes, Retvik. I saw things through Litvir’s eyes and Kuta’s eyes as well. But I mostly saw it through your eyes. I retraced your steps. Your inaction froze the time slithers. Twisted them into one single, permanent, immutable thread. You could have taken a lot of different paths. All you had to do was help Arkay say no. But you didn’t. Arkay turned into a monster because he felt scared and betrayed, and saw that deranged beast as his only way out.”
“He… he could have said something…” Retvik lowered his voice. “I cannot read minds.”
“You don’t need to be able to read minds. He said no. You should have said no too. But you remained idle. You didn’t help him. Then, when he snapped, you broke his heart. And rather than attempting to comfort him, you and Galyn just kicked Arkay to the curb and handed him to someone else to deal with.”
“You do not understand, Elksia. There was nothing more we could have done.”
Elksia hissed, extending her arm blades. “I just told you that there was. Also, you keep on calling him Arkadin. He’s not Arkadin. Arkadin died when Kinisis blew him up. He’s Arkay. He’s OUR Arkay. Well, he was. He’s gone now. He died that day, when you broke his heart.”
Retvik fell completely silent. He glanced at Tenuk, then at Elksia, before staring at the floor, tears welling in his eyes.
“I… I know. I know what I did. But when he turned into that monster, I lost all my faith in him. You have the power of hindsight, I do not. And as far as I am concerned, Arkay died that day. He was replaced by Arkidetelos, then Arkadin, and the Arkay we know is never coming back, no matter what. Sure, the Arkadin who occasionally sends us messages SAYS that he is Arkay, but he is not, he is just… a broken reflection of the person I thought I loved.”
Tenuk blinked. “You… you don’t love Arkay any more?”
“I try to. But it is not… practical. I have waited for a long time-”
“That’s a load of bollocks!” Elksia snapped. “Arkay waited for you! He waited decades!”
“And I will be waiting decades. Assuming Arkadin keeps his promise. But after all these years, I have begun to see the same patterns Arkadin always saw. The same old patterns of suffering. I have more important things and more important people to worry about now. I do not want to get trapped in Arkay’s patterns.”
Tenuk stared at Retvik, then blinked some more, before turning away. “Well, I’m fucking glad Arkay isn’t around to hear that. Pretty glad Litvir isn’t here to hear that either.”
“What do you mean by that?” Retvik asked.
“Compared to us, Litvir ONLY knows Arkay as a Decayling or Decay Lord, he’s only really known Arkay for about a year and a half. But he is more accepting than you are, he has more trust in Arkay than you do, despite having been exposed to the same horrible Arkidetelos stuff you have. I understand losing faith, but damn, Retvik, you’ve let yourself go.”
Retvik snarled at Tenuk, then stormed off. “It does not matter what you think. Arkay is dead, and Arkadin is not coming back. I know what I did, I know what Arkay did, and you two trying to guilt-trip me is not going to change ANYTHING!”
Elksia and Tenuk both remained silent, waiting until Retvik’s heavy footsteps faded away.
“Was I wrong?” Elksia eventually muttered.
“I don’t think so. A bit harsh? Maybe…” Tenuk sighed. “But… what you said explains a lot. Sad thing is though, Retvik’s probably right. We probably won’t ever see Arkay again.”
“I hate that I kinda agree with you. Just wish we could have properly said goodbye to him…”