Interrupting Session Zero

“That is a lot of snacks, paper and dice.”

“Well, we have a lot to go over!”

Retvik glanced around the room, feeling ever so slightly nervous. The last time Arkay was here, the Panelix (the goddess Retvik used to worship) had invaded, teleported his friends across the universe, beaten Arkay up, ruined the coffee table and Retvik had ended up stabbing her. While Arkay was rather hopeful that they wouldn’t have a repeat of that day, claiming that Epani was currently doing some sort of therapy session with Sini, Retvik was still a tad uncertain.

“So we are going to play… a roleplaying game?” Retvik asked as he sat down and helped himself to some popcorn.

“Yep! Wards and Wyverns! A fantasy action roleplaying game! I’m going to build a story and some dungeons and see how you four work through it!” Arkay seemed way too cheerful over something so simple. But Nyssi and Tenuk both seemed excited, and Kayel was playing along and enjoying stuffing his face with a bowl of cruspies, which were basically crisp-coasted flavoured peanuts. “You all got your drinks and stuff so we can go through the basics?”

“Yep yep!” Nyssi beamed as she pulled out a small drawstring back. “I brought my own dice, if that’s okay! We doing the basic play book or the extended one?”

Arkay glanced up at Nyssi. “You have the extended book?”

“Of course. I wanted the extra class traits, feats and racial variants!” Nyssi continued to smile as she reached under the table and grabbed several books, one of which was quite worn. “I don’t think these guys have played before though, so I can, like, stick to the normal book if you want.”

Arkay looked through several sheets of paper, then shrugged. “I was kinda under the impression no one had played before, and I made some basic character templates for you all to fill in, but I’ve got a blank character sheet if you want to make your own character.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“What level? We starting at level 1?”

Arkay snorted. “Nah, level 1 sucks. Level 3, one feat of your choice, just do me a favour and don’t pick a flying race.”

Nyssi also snorted. “Fair! Flight early on is kinda overpowered for a starter campaign.”

Still smiling, Arkay handed Nyssi a blank character sheet, a pencil and an eraser, then turned to his pile of pre-made characters. “So, while Nyssi works on that, you three, I’ve got some pre-made characters, you just need to pick a race and a starting weapon. Got any preferences?”

“What options do we have?” Retvik asked. “I admittedly have not really played this game before, not really heard of it either, apart from Relkir messaging me about it once.”

“That’s absolutely fine, Retvik. This is session zero anyway, we’re just going through the basics, making our characters and building the scene. I’ll teach you how to play as we go along.”

“Oh…”

“It’s alright, Retvik!” Kayel chirped. “I don’t really know how to play either. It’s just Arkay and Nyssi who are nerds here.”

Tenuk raised his hand. “I know how to play. Just haven’t played in, like, twenty years.”

“It’s just Arkay, Nyssi and Tenuk who are nerds!” Kayel corrected himself.

“I used to larp!” Nyssi didn’t care about being called a nerd. “When I was a kid, we’d all go to a clearing in the forest, dress up as magic classes and throw things at each other. Arkay, can I play a Wyvernborn paladin with the dragonscale AC bonus for extra tankiness?”

Arkay shrugged. “Yeah, sure. You three, I’ve got some quick class guides, but before I explain them to you, what sort of fantasy character thing do you like the sound of?”

“De ksers ti tha thelo?” Kayel rolled his eyes.

“Re, tha’se ilithie yi’oli tin nykt?” Arkay tutted back. “Se div epilog. Yiati eise ets?”

“Ak, signome, tha si’o…” Kayel sighed. “Just being a grump. I assume there’s, like an assassin class or something?”

“I was thinking a warlock would be good for you. Bound weapon, pledge to a deity, a few magic spells so you have some range.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Arkay handed Kayel a character sheet, as well as a list of races and feats and a pencil. “Pick what you think fits, add the bonuses to your character sheet then think of a quick backstory.”

“I think I want to be a cleric…” Tenuk muttered. “Mace, holy water, light crossbow, a handful of spells. So I’m nice and rounded. I don’t know what races there are though, there were, like, only six when I last played.”

“I have a list.”

“Does it have pictures?”

“Yeah. One of my pre-made characters is a cleric, but they’re more magic than melee. Since this is a newbie campaign, I’m happy for you to to swap some stats around if you want.”

Tenuk shrugged. “It’s been ages but I think I can remember. Would you mind checking over my sheet once I’m done to make sure I’ve done it right?”

“Not a problem!” Arkay gave Tenuk his pre-made cleric and the same list of races and feats he had given Kayel, before turning to Retvik. “Alright, buddy, what do you like the sound of?”

Retvik fidgeted in his seat awkwardly. He’d been looking at the list of races Nyssi had put to one side, and one had caught his eye, but he felt somewhat embarrassed.

“Can I be any race?”

“Any race on the list, yes.”

“And… you will not laugh?”

Nyssi patted Retvik on the arm. “Retty, why would we laugh? We’re here to be imaginative and have fun! To explore the freaky fantasy world Arkay’s made for us…” Nyssi suddenly paused. “Now I think about it, playing Wards and Wyverns with one of the four gods that made the universe for us all to inhabit is kinda weird.”

“Now you’ve mentioned it, it IS kinda weird…” Arkay admitted. “But I didn’t really make much in this universe, I just make sure Sini and Epani have materials to work with. But yeah, Retvik, if you have a character in mind, that’s great! I only have these pre-made characters as a base for you to build on. What are you thinking about?”

Retvik lowered his voice and pointed to a picture on the race list that Nyssi had. “I… I want to be a Kittykin wizard… with a big purple coat and a pointy hat…” Retvik expected everyone to laugh, but Nyssi just smiled and Arkay handed him a pre-made wizard sheet and a few extra pieces of paper.

“Kittykin is actually a really good race choice for a wizard, and we don’t have a proper spellcaster on the team, so go for it!” Arkay beamed. “There’s quite a few spells and feats for wizards, here’s some pre-prepared lists of spells, pick what magic school you like the sound of, then go through the feats list and pick one that matches. Alright?”

“You do not think it is silly that I picked a little furry wizard?” Retvik stuttered somewhat.

“Nope, not at all. The whole point of this sort of thing is to use our imaginations and experiment in things we don’t normally do! You’re always portrayed as a big, beefy gladiator, now you get to roleplay as something completely different. Same way Nyssi is a huntress, and she’s making her character into a big guardian and tank rolled into one.”

“Oh, I see now…” Convinced, Retvik settled down and began to read through the sheets Arkay had given him.

While everyone else was busy sorting out their characters, Arkay took the opportunity to sort himself out too. He gave everyone apart from Nyssi a set of dice, then set up his Game Master screen and dice box in front of him and placed his tablet next to him, hidden from view. On it were Arkay’s reference sheets, stat blocks for NPCs and various notes, and a music player, which Arkay turned on, setting it to play some generic fantasy music.

“How you all doing?” Arkay asked. “Got any questions?”

“Still deciding…” Kayel tutted. “I can get different weapons later, right? Or am I stuck with the same bound weapon forever?”

“You can change it but you need to do a ritual to do so, which requires a long rest.”

“Ah, alright…”

“Good!” Arkay smiled as he got up. “I’m going to get myself a drink. Any of you guys want a top-up or anything?”

“Can you get me a fresh beer please?” Nyssi grinned as she scribbled things down and ate some more popcorn chicken from a bowl next to her.

“Sure. What sort of beer?” Arkay queried as he opened the fridge.

“Whatever’s coldest.” Nyssi glanced at the others. She noticed that Retvik was watching Arkay in the kitchen. “You guys want anything?”

“No, I am good…” Retvik frowned. “Arkay, are you well? You have gone rather… stiff.”

Arkay blinked, closed the fridge then leaned on the counter and shook his head. “I’m… I’m really sorry. I… I have to deal with something… I’ll… I’ll be… ah piss, not again…”

All of a sudden, Arkay slumped to the floor, completely and utterly unconscious.