“I am so sorry.”
“It is fine. You were not to-”
“I am so, so sorry.
“It is fine. You-”
“I do not know how I can apologise further.”
“It is-”
“I failed you.”
“Relkir, please stop.”
“I-”
“Relkir!”
An uneasy silence crackled down the phone line. It took too long for anyone to start talking.
“You have been beating yourself up.”
“I have been working non-stop and sleeping in my office, I have not been home, I have not left since you… since you called me and told me… I am… I am so beaten down by guilt… I should have been there… I should have…”
“Relkir, stop for a second, take a deep breath and listen to me.”
Relkir did as they were told. They had not gone outside in a while. The idea of going home though, to the empty home where Gath currently wasn’t bothered them greatly. But there was another feeling in Relkir’s head that they could not describe, nor could they shake.
“I am sorry, Gath.”
“Relkir, it is not your fault. You were going to arrive here next week. You planned to be here. What happened was complete chance. How were we supposed to know that I would lay a week and a half early? I called Doctor Ekal and told them and they were surprised as well. But everything is fine. The egg is safe and healthy, I have taken it to the nursery at the end of the road from the parents’ place, I am annoying the staff greatly by spending half the day there, and everything is good. And also I managed to avoid traumatising Litvir by not allowing them to see me lay. Mum and dad are looking after me as well, and I am looking forward to seeing you next week. Seriously, Relkir, everything is fine.”
“I should have been there.”
“Relkir, it would have been nice to have had you by my side, but let us be honest, the laying is normally done at the doctors or the nursery, and you probably would not have been that close anyway. And also, again, you were not to know. I was not to know. It caught me completely unaware. We ALL thought I would not lay until next week. And I am not angry at you. Not about this at least.”
Relkir paused. “You… you are angry at me.”
“I am not angry that you were not here. I am upset that you are being incredibly mean to yourself, over something that was out of all of our control. You are hurting yourself. I do not want you to hurt yourself. Because I love you and care for you, and I want you to be happy and safe and also healthy for when the egg hatches.”
Relkir sighed, then calmed down. “You are right. I am overreacting.”
“You really are. You constantly strive to be perfect and when you do not manage to be perfect, you take it out on yourself.”
“Again, you are right…” Relkir sighed some more. “Should I… Should I move my flights forward?”
Gath thought for a moment. Relkir could hear them pacing around. Gath seemed to be outside.
“No. There is no need.”
“Why? Also, where are you right now?”
“I am outside the nursery. Viki, the head nursery staff, said I need to get up and walk around periodically, I cannot spend all my time watching the egg, otherwise I will go insane and start imagining problems. They are quite right, I sat there for an hour watching my egg and I swore I saw a yellow spot, but the egg was fine and I was imagining it. I think if you come early, you will start doing the same thing. I also think you need to spend this time alone doing fun things for yourself, because you will not have alone time when the egg hatches and you are desperately in need of distractions.”
“I… I guess… But what about you?”
“I am fine. I have my parents to talk to, I have old friends I am visiting, and I am enjoying showing Litvir around, even if they only seem to be around for a few hours a day. You need to do things for yourself as well.”
“You… you are right. But I feel so bad.”
“Please do not feel bad. It is no one’s fault. It is just weird luck. But I am fine, the egg is fine, Litvir is fine, mum and dad are fine and you are fine. Everything. Is. Fine. And in all honesty? You did not need to see the mess I made. I spared Litvir from that. But do not worry too much, because, assuming all goes well, you will experience it yourself when I get you egg-ridden.”
Relkir stuttered, not sure how to take that statement.
“So… do we just continue as planned?”
“Yes. As long as you are here for when the egg hatches, nothing else matters. And I know you will be here. You are taking time off starting next week anyway.”
“That is true…”
“Seriously, my little angel, you have done nothing wrong. Just sort yourself out, finish up your work, make sure you do not miss your flight on next Friday and we are golden.”
Relkir calmed down properly. “You are right.”
“Of course I am right! Now, finish up your work, go home and have a nice shower. And maybe start thinking about what we need for the kid’s room.”
“I… I shall do that. I may also order some take away food for myself.”
“Yes, please do that! You can eat all the naughty things while I am not around! Anyway, I am going to go and say goodbye to my egg, then head home. I promised mum and dad that I would be back home for dinner.”
Relkir relented. “Very well. Will you text me when you are home?”
“As long as you do the same.”
“I will.”
“Good. I love you, Relkir.”
“I love you too, Gath.”
The call ended, and Relkir sighed to themselves. After a moment though, they looked at the clock, then at the person standing at the door. One of their captains was tapping on their wristband.
“You planning on going home soon, Kyr Relkir?” Skeftin asked.
“I am going to do so now.”
“Alright, because we are all concerned.”
“I know… Do you need anything?”
“Not at all, General. Everything is all sorted out. Just waiting for your end-of-day dismissal.”
Relkir tutted. “You can all go home. You do not need to wait for me.”
“Alright…” Skeftin grunted as they turned to leave. “Have a good one, Kyr Relkir. Take it easy.”
“You too…” Relkir sighed one last time. “You too…”