More Junk Mail

Are you lonely? Are you lost in the dark, endless depths of the multiverse? Are you the last survivor of a universe but are unable to create new life? Do you want someone to talk to? Someone to hold you and comfort you?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you are in luck! As Deaven is now going Multiversal!

What is Deaven, you ask? Deaven is a place where all lonesome beings, death gods and survivors of “end of universe scenarios” can all meet up, chill out and relax! Situated in the Dark Ender Void between universes 61666166 and 61666167, Deaven has almost everything you could ever want!

As well as a vast amount of housing, enough for an entire universe of beings, Deaven provides free meals to all visitors and has an endless supply of entertainment for your needs! From sleeping pods to meditation rooms, to elegant forests and gardens to get lost in, to high energy discos and raves, all the way to our grand library, Deaven Bar and multiple trivia nights, Deaven has whatever you need and want, whenever you need and want them!

On top of physical needs, your own mental needs will be looked after as well. Deaven has a large staff available to help you overcome the trauma of your loss and assist you in returning to proper mental health! No matter how you feel, Deaven will make you feel better.

Esteemed members of Deaven can also get the chance to meat with Death, the Big D himself, the founder, owner and developer of Deaven! Exclusive memberships are available, offering one on one conversations and the ability to gain advanced knowledge, allowing you to earn the power to create and reproduce, so you can create universes of your own! With the help of Deaven, over ten thousand new universes have been spawned, thanks to former survivors and deities finding new purpose!

But what if Deaven is too far away? The multiverse is a large place after all!

Not a problem! Deaven has begun rolling out its Interuniversal Travel Systems! We have teams of Deaven staff surfing across the darkness of the void, ready to pick you up and transport you to Deaven! While they might not have all the facilities that Deaven itself has, all ITSs have full board, half board and bed and breakfast plans for all guests, as well as access to digital libraries and mini entertainment suites, so you won’t get bored while you travel!

So what are you waiting for? There’s no point dawdling once your universe is gone! Come and visit Deaven now, and put the life back into your afterlife!

“Why the fuck is there so much junk mail?” Arkadin hissed as he emptied out his letterbox. Somehow, despite the rest of his house and collective territories being in shambles, someone or something had still managed to deliver post directly to his letterbox, completely intact.

“What sort of junk mail?” Thassallin asked. Thassallin had been busy working for Yisini for the last few months, but when Arkadin asked if he wanted to help, he leaped at the opportunity. Even though he loved his job with Yisini, the former Time Drake wanted a change in scenery. Somewhere where he wouldn’t be stuffed with food and other items.

“All this stupid deaven stuff. I used to get a couple of flyers every few decades, but lately it’s… yearly…” Arkadin sighed. Despite the quantity of letters, almost all of it was junk, except for a single button off a dress that Epani had mailed to him, for some obscure reason. “I wouldn’t mind, but this universe is young as fuck.”

Thassallin waddled over. He had clearly put a lot of weight on since he’d arrived in this universe. He looked better for it, but both he and Arkadin knew it was probably a little much. Still, he was happy, so he didn’t question it. “May I see?”

Arkadin handed over the leaflet, then went to work sweeping up bits of glass. “Sure. I’m not interested in it anyway.”

The old god scanned the leaflet, then folded it up and tucked it into a piece of his armour. “I am not interested in it now, but perhaps in the future…”

“You considering it?”

“Possibly. But for now, I am content!” Thassallin smiled. “Things are good right now.”

Arkadin smiled back, then frowned as he looked at the mess around him. “Yeah, things are pretty alright…”

“You seem unsure.”

“Eh…” Arkadin smiled again. “Shall we give this a rest and go out or something? Just for a drink or some ice cream maybe?”

“That would be lovely!” Thassallin beamed as he dropped his broom and flapped his chubby wings. “I love ice cream!”