Picnic with Kinisis

Yisini slithered her way across the grounds, slipping past mechanical automatons and lazer-based defences, edging her way towards Kinisis’s inner sanctum. She didn’t need to sneak her way in, there was a perfectly good front door she could use, but Yisini enjoyed the subterfuge. It made a pleasant change to doing normal things.

“What are you doing?” Kinisis asked as Yisini slipped down a pole and hid behind a leather sofa.

“Being a sneaky snek! A slippery danger noodle!” Yisini replied.

“Okay then…” Kinisis went back to what she was doing. It looked like she was reading a newspaper of some sort but the paper was bright pink and had a warning sticker on it. The warning mentioned something about being for “beings over 10 billion years old only”. The way Kinisis completely dismissed Yisini suggested that she was busy.

“You busy?” Yisini asked.

“Not really.”

“You seem busy.”

Kinisis shrugged, then suddenly scrunched up the entire newspaper, crushing it in her hands then making it disappear in a miniature explosion of fireworks and glitter. “Not any more.”

“You seemed busy…” Yisinin sighed. “You looking for a date or something?”

“Yes, but it’s unimportant. You’d all hate whoever I picked anyway.”

“You don’t know that!” Yisini perked herself up. “You might find someone amazing! Someone who doesn’t think that we’re all scum!”

Kinisis shrugged again then leaned back in her comfy seat. She waggled one of her fingers and a picnic spread appeared in front of her, filled with various cheese cakes, brownies and jellies. Yisini helped herself to a particularly wobbly pink jelly, scooping chunks out with her fingers.

“I have spoons, you know.”

“Don’t need them!”

Kinisis tutted and waved her fingers again. Several spoons appeared, all of them being held by a familiar death god.

“Oh, hey, Arkadin!” Yisini continued to smile.

“Hi, Yisini. Didn’t realise you were coming too.” Arkadin sat down next to Kinisis, picking up a plate of cheese cake as he did so.

“Actually, I just popped by to ask some questions.”

Kinisis glanced at Arkadin, then back at Yisini. “Sure.”

“Can you get Arkadin to help me with achieving eternal life?”

The Allmaker rolled her eyes. Arkadin growled, looking genuinely insulted.

“I have told you a billion times, Yisini, I can’t help you with eternal life! There is nothing I can do, inside or outside of this universe, to help you!”


“Nothing! You can’t get eternal life from death!”

Yisini didn’t say anything at first. She looked at Kinisis, then smiled.

“If Arkadin won’t help me, will you?”

“There is not really much I can do. I mean, I don’t know the secrets to eternal life, that’s why I made you, to work it out for me.”



Yisini thought to herself for a moment. “Can I… Use help from outside the universe?”

“What sort of help?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Arkadin crossed his arms angrily. “Voidborns won’t help you and everything else with murder you.”

“You don’t know that!” Yisini protested.

“He’s pretty accurate though…” Kinisis sighed. “If you can find something non-hostile, then fine. But otherwise, no, keep it in-universe.”

Arkadin growled. “This is stupid. I’m going.”

Yisini and Kinisis both shrugged as the Thantophor disappeared, taking his plate of cheese cake with him.