“Wow, your siblings are fucking assholes…” Phovos muttered as she surveyed the ruins of the Thirteenth Night Arena. Half of this forested, sheltered arena was fine, if a bit roughed up. The other half had been completely flattened, as if someone had dropped a massive cartoon-like weight on it.
“Yeah, I’m sorry…”
The Thantophor hovered behind Phovos, looming in the shadows. Phovos had rarely seen the Thantophor in ‘full death mode’ and it wasn’t the prettiest sight. The Raptor had worried that something much worse was going on or was about to happen, but didn’t want to provoke the annoyed (and somewhat embarrassed) deity.
“This battle arena is trashed, taking some of the arena systems with it. The Thrakian Zoodenthro has been completely demolished. The old Dessaron HQ is utterly crushed and full of life-serpent skin. I’m fucking amazed no one got killed, but we literally just finished making repairs and the city is going to go bankrupt at this rate.”
“I know. And I want to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Phovos grunted. “You can’t magically just fill our bank accounts.”
The Thantophor smiled a little. “Doesn’t seem to bother the Kronospast economy. Economic injections make the universe’s societies go around whether it’s new supplies, new resources or cold, hard cash.”
Phovos sighed, turning her attention to the Thantophor. “Yeah, but still, shit like this keeps on happening. You’re fine, you clear up any mess that you make. Your asshole siblings leave it all for mortals to deal with. I swear they didn’t learn anything at all from their time here.”
Arkadin sighed too, acknowledging that Phovos was right. “They definitely learned some things, but they didn’t learn anything good.”
“What did they learn?”
The Thantophor rolled his glistening, golden eyes. “Epani learned that violence is fun, Kairos learned that Thraki worship him and Yisini learned that she really enjoys riding Kairos’s dick.”
Phovos blinked. “I… I thought you were… siblings though…”
“Not blood siblings. Kairos and I weren’t even born in this universe, we’re just cute little trinkets Kinisis brought in with her. Sure, Kinisis made Epani and Yisini inside the universe, but we’re about as closely related as Temthans are to Vohra…” Arkadin paused, then sighed. “Plus, I’ve already had this discussion with them a billion times, about it being incest and morally wrong or whatever, but they don’t give a fuck. As long as no children are produced, Kinisis doesn’t care either.”
“So your entire family consists of you and five assholes?”
“Basically.”
Phovos and the Thantophor both laughed briefly, before drifting off into a rather tame silence.
“So… what now?” Phovos asked.
“I don’t know…” Arkadin frowned. “But first, I have to make sure you’re compensated for looking after us.”
“There’s no need…”
“Please…” Arkadin sighed. “Just let me do something nice.”
Phovos shrugged, then watched as Arkadin stepped forward, raising his hands. Down below, in the crushed arena’s remains, something glimmered. The glimmer turned into a glow, and quickly began to expand. Within moments, a massive pile of gold and gilded items exploded into view, filling the old arena.
“Where did all of that come from?” Phovos exclaimed, somewhat amazed.
“Kairos’s secret stash!” Arkadin beamed as he faded away. “You deserve it, you need it, he doesn’t. Don’t worry, he won’t miss it…”