“I will be blunt, I do not understand this idea of celebrating days getting longer or shorter… But I did buy everything on the list, as directed!”
For reasons only Kaytee and Arkay understood, Vikalos had been dressed up in some strange attire. He, Galyn and Itaviir had returned from their shopping trip a few hours ago, and as soon as they’d returned, Arkay and Kaytee had taken the shopping off Vikalos’s hands, wrapped almost everything up then dressed Vikalos up in a white sheet and a pair of antlers that Kaytee had made out of cardboard. They then handed Vikalos back the presents, all contained within a massive fabric sack. They then led Vikalos down to the beach, sat him down on a nice chair by the large fire that Retvik had built and sat everyone else around him.
“Honestly? I do not get what Arkay is doing either…” Retvik muttered as folks gathered around. “Sure, we have Macromera, which was a holiday that involved celebrating longer days-”
“But why DID days get longer and shorter?” Vikalos asked. “Sure, it has been a LONG time since I was a universe-bound deity, but days in my universe were very uniform and always the same.”
Thankfully, Galyn was on hand to answer that question. “The orbits and rotations of many planets within universes wobble over time, which creates seasons and days that aren’t always the same duration.”
“Oh…” Vikalos thought for a moment. “Why would a deity-run universe have such strange inconsistencies though? We can make things… not perfect, but at least uniform.”
Galyn shrugged. “I don’t know. The Mothers of the Golden Paradise were strange, confusing creatures that made little sense to anyone and did whatever they want.”
“I guess. But what about these antlers?”
All of a sudden, Arkay exploded into view, wearing a long, white scarf and matching stomach wrap and loin cloth. Kaytee also teleported in, wearing similar clothes, but he wasn’t throwing glitter everywhere.
“You’re the Ghost of Smissmasses Past!” Arkay giggled. “Your job is to hand out gifts to others, to wish them good luck and a better future and make them look forward to better things! Is everyone ready?”
Kaytee did a quick head count. “Seems like it. Time for fun, I guess?”
Arkay clapped his hands together with glee. “Awesome! Everyone, gather round, sit your tails down, or your butt if you don’t have a tail! The Smissmas Ghost is here and he has presents!”
Vikalos eyed Arkay. “So… you just want me to hand out gifts?”
“And tell them they were a good boy or girl, yes.”
“We haven’t done this since Arkay and I were kids!” Kaytee smiled.
This caused more stares from everyone but Arkay. But Arkay suddenly realized why everyone was staring. From Kaytee’s point of view, their childhood was several decades ago. But in that same period of time, Arkay had lived through several different universes. The differences were so vast that Arkay was struggling to comprehend them. With a shake of his head, Arkay returned to reality.
“So, Vikalos, what you’ll do is simple. You grab one of the gifts out of the bag, read the tag on it, say something nice about them and wish them a good year, then Kaytee and I will hand the gift to the recipient.”
“Oh. I can do that.”
Arkay grinned, then grabbed Retvik and teleported him and anyone else who was still standing into their seats, so everyone was sitting down properly. Satisfied, Arkay grabbed everyone’s attention and explained things a bit further.
“Everyone! Happy Smissmas, and happy, uh, insert other holidays here! So happy Macromera, happy Day of Uselessness or Day of Thanks and all that. In a bit, we’re all going to have a lovely meal together, courtesy of all our Flames, but firstly, we have gifts! Smissmas Ghost, please get a gift out from your festive sack!”
There were a few snickers about Arkay’s phrasing, mostly from the two Tenuks, but Arkay clearly didn’t care. Vikalos did as he was told and fished around in the sack, shaking it a little, before pulling out the first gift. All the gifts looked the same, but only because Kaytee and Arkay had used the same boxes and wrapping paper for everything. Vikalos peered at the gift tag.
“Our first gift is for Saahro!” Vikalos announced. “Saahro, you have been a very good dragon this year. It is wonderful having you back by our side, and I hope you stick around for a long time. We missed your presence and love having you around!”
Vikalos handed the gift to Kaytee and Kaytee handed the gift to Saahro. Saahro opened it and revealed a heavy gold chain with a ruby pendant on it.
“Oh!” Saahro beamed. “Thank you!”
“No worries, dear!” Vikalos rummaged for a new gift, and quickly pulled one out. “This gift is for Tenuk! Old Tenuk. You may be annoying at times, but you are still a good boy, and you do make for a cute Beh’en or Rethavok when you shapeshift into one! Thank you for keeping our resident Time Drake safe!”
Arkay took the gift and handed it to Tenuk. Tenuk inspected it and opened up a packet of scented candles, some lube and, weirdly, a single condom that had been cut in half. Tenuk burst out laughing, thanked everyone and handed the condom to Elksia, who giggled like a lunatic.
Vikalos moved on to the next gift, which, amusingly, was for Elksia. “Speaking of Time Drakes, Elksia, you have been the goodest girl here! Keep on being the amazing darling you are!”
Kaytee handed the gift over, and Elksia rummaged through it. Just like Tenuk, she had a condom that had been cut in half, but her gift was mostly strips of soft fabric, materials normally used in making a standard Vrekan nest.
“D’aww, you all have too much faith in me!”
“Hah, we do!” Arkay smiled. “You’ll get your wish. I know it.”
The next few gifts were all well appreciated. Tahvra got more bricky toys, Talok got some as well and the two Vohra immediately stared sharing and playing. Akah’s gift of a very large mouse mat and a computer mouse with lots of extra buttons on it seemed rather odd to everyone but Akah, who was glad to finally be able to update part of his gaming rig. Galyn and Itaviir both got given matching scarfs, which they both seemed to appreciate way, way more than Arkay expected. Eksi was given a box of magnets, which he quickly toyed around with, distracting him from trying to use his telepathy to figure out what all the other gifts were.
“I am not sure how I managed to grab four gifts and they are for you four little guys…” Vikalos muttered as he pulled out more presents. “You four seem to be a little team of your own. Nyssi, Kayel, Tanos and Ret, keep on learning. You are going to be a terrifying team of Decay Lords one day.”
Kaytee handed the four of them their gifts.
“Oh fuck yes, more clothes!” Nyssi giggled. “We keep on ruining ours with our new powers!”
“Also this is the second time I have been gifted a dagger…” Ret muttered. “It is a very nice dagger though.”
“Is something wrong with daggers?” Kaytee asked. “Oh wait, I should know from Teekay and Elkay, there’s a thing about Rethans and daggers as gifts representing marriage…”
Ret smiled anyway. “It is fine, I like it. And… Tenuk, where did you put your gifted dagger?”
“I hid it in my tail, of course!”
The next person to get a gift was Kuta. “Considering you and Litvir are twins, you are not that alike!” Vikalos beamed. “Still, welcome back to the Thantir. You and Ret are a very cute couple, and I expect mischief from you and Litvir next year-string!”
“Thank you, Kyr Vikalos!” Kuta shifted awkwardly as Arkay handed them a gift box. It was quite heavy, and also contained a dagger. But the main item was a miniature waterfall feature. “Oh! Kyr Arkay, you got this for me! I was missing the one I had back home!”
“Admittedly, I told the big guys what to get and they bought the gifts, but yeah.”
Vikalos managed to work his way through the rest of the gifts. While cans of paint seemed like a boring gift, Kal were thrilled. They got through a lot of paint, because their powers would often cause the paint on their arms to melt. Both Phovos and Phovoula got a collection of hair brushes, conditioner and massage oils, as well as some de-tangling hair spray.
“Thassalin, happy… uh, Smissmas…” Vikalos forgot the name of the holiday. “It’s wonderful having another Time Drake around and I am glad you fit in here.”
Thassalin grinned. “I am very happy to be here! New experiences, a new life, away from the endless duties of a universe. Thank you all for having me… And also thank you for the bag of gems. I still am a typical dragon at heart and I will need to rebuild my hoard of gems and gold!”
Elkay and Teekay both got some matching stomach wraps and sheaths for their partnership daggers. However, Elkay was also given a pack of condoms, and he was pretty sure Arkay winked at him as he handed Elkay his gift. Vikalos had also gotten a gift, and, of course, it was a box of scarves, that Galyn and Itaviir had picked out for him.
Somehow, Retvik and Litvir’s gifts both came out together, mostly because they were smaller and had fallen to the bottom.
“You two little angels, Retvik, Litvir, you have been the best boys this year-string! Filled with magical goodness and kindness. And a lot of Voidborn murder. But mostly goodness. You two should remain exactly as you are, because you are both amazing. Also, I somewhat guessed these were for you.”
Arkay took the gifts from Vikalos and handed them to Litvir and Retvik.
“This isn’t official. But… well… you get the idea. Together at last, forever and all that.”
Litvir immediately worked out what his gift was. Arkay had gotten them both a simple silver ring, which they both immediately put on.
“Together forever…” Retvik smiled as he and Litvir hugged Arkay tightly. “We love you, Arkay.”
Vikalos pulled out one last gift and read the tag on it. “Oh, this one is for Kaytee, one of my little Smissmas helpers! Kaytee, you have been a very good boy not just today but ever since you joined us! And you are so happy now! It is so good seeing you be so happy!”
Kaytee hesitated, then accepted the gift that Arkay had taken off Vikalos and handed to him.
“I was wondering who the necklace was for.”
“Well…” Arkay stuttered. “I remember getting you one, when we were… mortal, not long before I died. I assumed you probably lost it when Kinisis made me start killing things and wanted to get you a new one.”
“Hah… Well, it turns out…” Kaytee removed his neck collar and pulled out a small silver chain, with a round medallion, an orange gem embedded in it. “I never lost it. After… the whole Brothers thing, folks kinda tried to erase you from history. This was all I had left to remind me of you. Because you were never a bad person. And now I guess I have something else to remember you by too.”
Arkay and Kaytee both smiled, then hugged each other tightly.
“Hang on!” Vikalos interrupted the cute moment by waving around an empty sack. “Arkay, you didn’t get a gift?”
“I don’t need a gift, because my gift is being here, and free, and with all you lot, my friends and family.”
“Aw, that is so sweet!” Litvir exclaimed. “But we are going to have to get you a Macromera gift… of some sort.”
“Sure, but we’ve done all the gifts, it’s now time to eat and get drunk!” Arkay beamed, vaguely aware of what Litvir was thinking of. “Come on, everyone, Retvik didn’t spend all day cooking that space gammon for nothing!”
“Can I also take this silly costume off?” Vikalos asked.
“Of course!” Arkay giggled. “Merry Smissmas, everyone!”