Tea at the Cafe of the Gods

The Cafe of the Gods was a pretty literal place. Gold covered or trimmed almost everything, while the floors glistened in ivory white and precious gems dotted almost all the objects in the cafe. The large, cushioned sofas and armchairs were covered in silk cushions and stuffed with the softest feathers. No expense had been spared for this cafe for its six customers.

There was only one thing running it, a single Thrakian Temthan, who had been running the place for the last two hundred years. After another hundred, he would die and be replaced by someone of Epani’s choosing. After another five hundred years, Yisini would get to pick. They used to have a robot serving the place but that broke after five hundred years as well.

Today, there were two patrons in the cafe, both sipping fruit tea from bone porcelain cups with gold leaf trims. Yisini and Epani weren’t in their normal, monstrous forms. There was an etiquette to the Cafe of the Gods, and part of that stated that all visitors had to be of reasonable size. Yisini had simply replaced her snaking lower body with a thick yet elegant pair of legs and a fluffy tail, while Epani had completely changed her look, looking more like an armoured Panvok with a humanoid shape.

“Oh!” Yisini suddenly exclaimed over her tea. “Did you hear?”

“Hear what?” Epani didn’t bother to guess. Every time Yisini had said that sentence, Epani hadn’t heard, and hadn’t really cared. Why would she care about how many Temthans there were, or about a flame retardant ivy plant, or about weird Panvok-Thanataic hybrids Yisini was planning on making one day?

“Arkadin actually has friends!”

“Huh. That is… Genuinely interesting!” Epani smiled. “Do you know who they are?” Epani’s smile though quickly vanished. “He is not making friends with outside beings, is he?”

“Nah. Just a couple of mortals!”

“Which ones?”

Yisini shrugged. “I dunno. Haven’t looked yet. But I am certain that most of them are those Dessaron fellows.”

“The ones that made a rebellion against Kairos. That makes sense. Are they nice?”

“Oh yes. Met the blue one before. He’s a Kronospast. Nice guy. Totally fuckable.”

Epani rolled her many eyes. “Everything is fuckable to you.”

“Well I AM the Goddess of making things fuck!” Yisini laughed. “That’s what reproduction is. I make it enjoyable so mortals want to do it. That reflects back on me.”

“Yes, sure…” Epani had grown tired of that topic. “What about other friends?”

“The other one? A Kronospast too, I think. That’s good, they live a long time! Means Arky won’t get too angry when they all die. I was thinking of interfering though. Getting in the way. Having a joke.”

Epani sighed, rolled her eyes, sighed again then bashed her head on the table.

“Epani? Are you alright?”

“Are you REALLY going to mess with Arkadin’s happiness? After the last event?”

Yisini shifted her shoulders, flicking back a long mane of snake-like hair. “Kairos thought it would be fun.”

“Kairos is a retard.”

“Kinisis would approve.”

“Kinisis hates her youngest and wants to make him suffer.”

Yisini hissed. “Why can’t I have fun?”

“You can have fun!” Epani snapped back. “Just not at the expense of others! You complain that Arkadin is uptight and unfun, but you annoy him and anger him and then wonder why he is uptight!” Epani growled, then finished the rest of her drink in one go.


“No. I will not put up with this!” Epani got up from her chair, much against Yisini’s protests. “Leave Arkadin alone.”

“Fine…” Yisini tutted. “I’ll leave him alone…”