Sonicshock: Cleanser Kal Wehl-Koh here, representing Spiritpurger, how can I help you today?
Sonicshock: Oh hello Arkay!
Sonicshock: Sorry, normally I have a bunch of copy-pasted messages I send out on autopilot whenever we get new contacts. What’s up?
Deathbringer: Hey Koh, how you doing?
Sonicshock: We’re busier than ever! Mostly Kenic Spore removal right now thanks to the Ahkron stuff and the Phantai stuff, which means I’m on secretarial work.
Sonicshock: It’s really nice to hear from you! You have no idea how much our quality of life has gone up, all thanks to you! Not having to share is so much better for one’s mental health!
Deathbringer: It’s nothing, I just wanted to help someone who helped me.
Sonicshock: Seriously friend, we are all so much happier now. And yes, Tah also uses the body you made for him now. Although we did have to drag Tah’s old body out of storage when it came to helping Galyn get over his mind control, but that’s all over and done with now.
Sonicshock: How are you doing? Retvik told us you were a death god again and that things aren’t as bad as they used to be?
Deathbringer: Things are definitely better without Kinisis around making me miserable.
Sonicshock: Good to hear! How are your siblings? You have siblings or something, yes? That big angry dragon and the snake with breasts, right?
Deathbringer: Sini isn’t a snake any more, actually, but yeah, she’s fine, much better. Kairos is kinda heartbroken though.
Sonicshock: Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. Is it because of Life Goddess Seimeni?
Deathbringer: Yeah…
Deathbringer: I kinda forgot that, before this universe, they were genuinely in love, to the point that Kairos was considering making a universe with her.
Sonicshock: I’m sorry. I don’t really understand romantic things like that but he must feel really awful.
Sonicshock: So, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you get back onto Wyvern? I thought your Life Goddesses were insistent that you stay out of stuff outside of your universe? Also, did you and Kairos get some of those power dampeners removed? I also find it really cool that Litvir found you in a video game. We’d play those if we had the time to do so, Leh has a whole collection of them we keep at the Nest.
Deathbringer: Sini has been giving me a lot more freedom lately. And yeah, Epani removed the power stuff from Kairos and gave me a little more power.
Deathbringer: I’ve definitely needed it. We’re in the middle of one of our 2.5k activity bumps and there’s been so, so much Corruption trying to get in.
Sonicshock: Makes sense. There’s a power vacuum, no major Life Goddess presence, no Decay Lords there any more and definitely no Voidborns apart from that weird Theocydes thing. Something’s going to fill that void.
Sonicshock: Sorry I’m talking a lot, can’t help it, we’re so, so thankful for you. We normally only accept minimal payment for our work and you went and solved our biggest problem for what was a standard procedure for us. Honestly can’t wait for you to come back out here so we can chat in person again.
Deathbringer: Why don’t you accept payment?
Sonicshock: We’re Decay Lords, ones that don’t eat, drink or breathe and hardly even sleep, and, because we ended a universe, our Deathven-sponsored universal income, based on our Righteous Death Index, means we’re pretty well off. Actually, when you make it back here you should check your finances, you’ll probably be rich too.
Deathbringer: Assuming there’s anything left when I do finally escape this stupid universe.
Deathbringer: I’ll be honest though, that’s kinda why I wanted to message you. I’m kinda stuck.
Sonicshock: Oh? You don’t have a Corruption infection again, do you? Because we’re pretty far away and it’s going to take at least 500-600 hours to get to you.
Deathbringer: It’s not about me, it’s about Epani. She’s… ill. And we can’t work out what’s wrong with her.
Sonicshock: Oh. You gone through the basics?
Deathbringer: Yeah. It’s not Corruption, it’s not Voidborn stuff, it’s not a Life Goddess hijacking, we haven’t got a clue.
Sonicshock: Huh, weird. Do you have a list of symptoms? Maybe a few pictures or something? We aren’t exactly doctors, we’re pretty specialized, but we have come across a few things over the many hours we’ve been working out here.
Deathbringer: One sec, I’ll send you the information.
Deathbringer has sent an attachment – List_of_Symptoms.txt
Deathbringer has sent an attachment – Images_of_Epani.zip
Sonicshock: Huh.
Sonicshock: Haven’t seen that in a long, long time.
Deathbringer: You know what’s wrong with Epani?
Sonicshock: We once helped a Voidborn remove some Corruption from itself. The Voidborn was one of those rare ones bound to a Life Goddess making universes and stuff with them. What was really weird was that the Life Goddess was more of a Life God and they had a whole crew of deities they carried around with them.
Sonicshock: The Life God didn’t get corrupted but they did get hurt by whatever Corruption attacked them. We didn’t know that at first until Pah went in and realized there was nothing corrupted to burn. They did get really ill though, violent, confused, hungry, things glowing in the wrong places. They even did that ‘throwing up’ thing that you creatures with stomachs occasionally do. Which was awful because they threw up all over us and we only had Tah’s old body at the time and it’s really hard cleaning ejecta from your Krana-brain holder when removing your Krana-brain depowers your body.
Sonicshock: Anyway, they really looked like they were corrupted but they weren’t, and the Voidborn said they were under the influence of a ‘Zontanian Placebo’, meaning the Life God believed he was corrupted and acted as such.
Deathbringer: How did you all fix it?
Sonicshock: Um, it was quite messy. We had to help them set up a massively, overly bloody mock surgery where the Voidborn pretended to remove the Corruption from them.
Sonicshock: Quick question, is Epani being overly aggressive to everyone or just you?
Deathbringer: Mostly just me.
Sonicshock: Can you hide for a bit?
Deathbringer: Uh, why?
Sonicshock: The mock surgery did work but the Life God remained violent for a while. When we returned at the Voidborn’s request, it turned out the Life God had killed one of their younger deities in a fit of rage. They did settle down, but, I’ll be honest, your Life Goddesses don’t seem very nice. Doubly so since they ARE related to Kinisis.
Deathbringer: That’s really worrying. How much should I hide?
Sonicshock: Is going to sleep and ceasing to exist for a bit an option for you?
Deathbringer: I’m the god of death and entropy in this universe, I can’t just not do my job!
Sonicshock: Fair enough. It’s a shame that you’re doing universe stuff when you specifically said to me you didn’t want to do that sort of stuff.
Deathbringer: I didn’t have a choice.
Sonicshock: Why not?
Deathbringer: I was dead. Kinisis killed me the same time I killed her. Epani and Sini resurrected me and I promised I’d serve them for one last cycle. I can’t break my promises.
Sonicshock: Oh. Promises. Those things. The things you keep on keeping.
Deathbringer: If I don’t keep my promises, no one will.
Sonicshock: I was going to make a comment but I don’t think I have enough information to properly make it.
Sonicshock: Either way, you just need to convince Epani she’s not Corrupted. She’s going to be vicious and angry no matter what, but she’s not completely evil like Kinisis was, you should be able to get through to her if you act everything out. Although Pah would probably murder me for even suggesting this, if you have any dead Corruption-like stuff lying around, you could try and make it seem more real to Epani.
Deathbringer: Well… I got something that might work. Sini has been making vaccinations for every type of Corruption that manages to break in, so it’s doable.
Sonicshock: Sini makes vaccinations?
Deathbringer: Yeah. I mean, we all got vaccinations, even back when I was with the Thantir, it’s not that weird.
Sonicshock: Actually that reminds me, I need to organize vaccinations for everyone.
Deathbringer: You just inject them straight into your weird gummy brains?
Sonicshock: Pretty much. Insanely low doses due to the total overall organic mass, but better safe than sorry. I ought to check on the rest of the Thantir as well. I think Galyn, Retvik and Litvir are up to date but we have no idea what the Divine Guardians all had.
Sonicshock: Sorry to cut this short but I need to get back to work.
Deathbringer: You’re not the only one. I gotta get this all to Sini so we can work out a plan before Epani tries to eat another star.
Deathbringer: Thank you so much for the help, Koh. I really appreciate it.
Sonicshock: Any time, Arkay! Look after yourself!
Deathbringer: You too. Say hello to everyone for me.
Deathbringer is now offline.