Words of Settling

Souldrainer: You bastard.

Souldrainer: Take it back. Please. Take it back.

Souldrainer: I need you. I am wiling to wait forever. Take it back.

Souldrainer: Your words hurt me.

Souldrainer: I will wait. I fucking will. For twenty billion of your years if I have to.

Souldrainer: I will I swear

Souldrainer: why did you say that

Souldrainer: please take it back

Souldrainer: fuck you you hurt me

Souldrainer: bastard

Souldrainer: come back

Souldrainer is now offline.

Deathbringer: Litvir, are you alright? I’m sorry I upset you.

Souldrainer is now online.

Souldrainer: Sorry. I let my emotions take over. Then I had a nap and calmed down somewhat. But I am still upset.

Deathbringer: I get it, I really do. But you know I am right. I can’t feasibly force you both to wait for millennia, for me to somehow escape this universe. I’m bound to it until Epani and Sini unbind me from it, and that’s just not going to happen. This universe is young, I’ll be here for at least two billion years longer.

Deathbringer: And, like, even if something catastrophic happened to the universe and it died early? You really think I’d escape then? No, I’m certain I’d be forced to go down with the ship, while the others make their exit.

Deathbringer: I’m hurting you enough as it is, being locked away. Making you wait forever is only going to hurt you more. Being upfront about it, openly telling you and Retvik to live your own live, separate from mine, is for the best.

Souldrainer: I know.

Souldrainer: As much as it pains me, I know.

Souldrainer: I overreacted. I am sorry. And I am going to have to apologise to Retvik for snapping at him.

Souldrainer: I love you, Arkay, and it pains me I most likely will never be able to say that to your face.

Deathbringer: I love you too, Litvir. It hurts, but it’ll hurt less as the truth settles in.

Deathbringer: Can I ask, is there something going on between you and Retvik?

Souldrainer: Yes.

Souldrainer: Retvik wants to marry me.

Souldrainer: I do not want to marry Retvik.

Deathbringer: I see. Can I ask why?

Souldrainer: Elkay and Teekay got married recently (I do not know if you remember them) and Retvik is jealous and wants what they have. A singular, monogamous, legally binding relationship.

Souldrainer: I think legally binding myself to someone is stupid, I do not want to be bound to a single person, legally or otherwise, and I wish to remain polyamorous.

Deathbringer: Well, I do agree on the legal binding thing. States, religions and governments shouldn’t have any influence on a partnership. I admit that I forgot that you are polyamorous but, like, you didn’t really find your flavour until you became a Decayling.

Souldrainer: ‘Flavour’ is such a Skyan way of putting it. I find having a choice and not being bound to one person permanently is somewhat liberating.

Souldrainer: I hate to be blunt and crass, but the top item on my sexual bucket list was a threesome between you, Retvik and myself. Also quite high up on that same list is watching you and Elkay make out, and I recently added a new item, a sexual encounter of any sort with a cute Psion Beh’en by the name of Thyel.

Deathbringer: Pre-reset me was smart, he wrote down who everyone was. Still don’t remember who these people are but at least I have some idea, although this Thyel guy is new. Terrifying that Elkay is as fucked up as I am, but I am glad that he and Teekay finally tied the knot.

Souldrainer: It was a nice ceremony. I know because I did the whole ceremony.

Souldrainer: Thing is, although they are married, they are still open to threesomes and foursomes. Both they and Eksi have asked me several times, and I have declined, despite wanting to join them (because Elkay is a gentle, tender, caring soul and it is hard being big spoon with Retvik) because I do not want to upset Retvik.

Deathbringer: Hang on, you are not fulfilling your needs just to keep Retvik happy?

Souldrainer: I guess so.

Deathbringer: Litvir, you need to tell Retvik that.

Souldrainer: He sees polyamory as selfish.

Deathbringer: It’s… like… the opposite of selfish. You’re sharing yourself with multiple people. Sometimes at the same time.

Deathbringer: Also, Rethans being monogamous is a somewhat recent thing, at least in this universe.

Souldrainer: See, this is why I love you. When you are not broken, you are so understanding and strangely balanced, while also being kind and caring too. Sure, when you are in a bad mood, you are in a BAD mood, but considering what you have been through, I can forgive that.

Souldrainer: I do not think Retvik can though. He always saw your mood swings as childish.

Souldrainer: He is relieved about what you said though. He thinks it cements his desire to marry me and push me into a monogamous, permanent relationship.

Deathbringer: Do you want to marry Retvik?

Souldrainer: No.

Souldrainer: That sounds harsh. Yes, I want to be Retvik’s partner, but I also wish to have my own freedoms. If, for example, I meet a super hot, shorter-than-normal Psionic Beh’en who blatantly really likes me back, then I want to be able to have a one-off fling with them.

Deathbringer: Sorry to interrupt, what is a Beh’en again?

Souldrainer: Do you remember Galyn and Itaviir?

Deathbringer: Galyn yes, Itaviir kinda.

Deathbringer: I want to be angry at Galyn. But I get why he did what I did.

Souldrainer: Understandable. Well, it turns out that Galyn and Itaviir are members of some sort of uplifted, deified species known as the Beh’evok. Some sort of proto-Threanic species. I do not know what a female Beh’evok looks like though, we have not yet encountered one.

Deathbringer: How did I never catch on to Galyn and Itaviir being the same species?

Souldrainer: Galyn wears very little armour compared to Itaviir, Itaviir is larger and more muscular and he also keeps his arm-blades hidden more regularly.

Deathbringer: Ah, alright.

Deathbringer: But yeah, Litvir, you need to be blunt with Retvik. Tell him, straight up, you don’t want to get married.

Souldrainer: I did. He keeps on trying to talk me into it, and I keep on pushing him back, saying that I need space, it is too soon and that I will think about it.

Deathbringer: Well, like, there are alternatives. You could always have an open relationship. Would you be upset if Retvik slept around?

Souldrainer: Of course not! He slept with Seimeni! And he somehow slept with Phovos before we got back together. I am perfectly fine with Retvik sleeping with whoever he wants and I WANT him to be more sexually open. Which is why I am going on with Tenuk and Elksia’s insane plan to try and get Retvik to have a threesome with them.

Deathbringer: Wait what?

Deathbringer: That’s insane. But also hilarious. Are Tenuk and Elksia still a couple?

Souldrainer: They are, yes. A very, very happy couple. However, Elksia wants kids, and we have no way of facilitating that because, well, we have no male Vrekans here. Has not stopped Tenuk from trying though. They are very noisy on telepathic channels.

Deathbringer: Alright, too much info.

Deathbringer: But yeah, you need to be up front with Retvik. Because you were kinda using me as an excuse, but I can’t be your excuse.

Souldrainer: Ugh. I know.

Souldrainer: What about you though? I do not want you to be loveless forever.

Deathbringer: Believe it or not, I’m actually fine. Sure, Kuta is out of reach, they are blissfully happy with their Retvik (and I think Kuta is slowly considering kids), but Kayel and I have agreed to be friends with benefits. And I am trying to stay close with the eight immortal folks I know, because screw Epani and her stupid shit.

Souldrainer: Well that, dear, is a massive step forward for you!

Souldrainer: Thank you for talking to me. I feel better now.

Deathbringer: It’s cool. I kinda… pissed on your cereal a little bit by coming back online and immediately telling you to give up on me. I’m sorry I didn’t let you down more gently.

Souldrainer: No, it is fine, I overreacted. I am going to take another nap, then work out how to apologize to Retvik for snapping at him and how I am going to talk to him about our relationship. Because I am stressed and sleep helps me rebalance myself.

Deathbringer: Alrighty. Sleep well, Litvir. Message me whenever, alright? I know we’re stupidly distant, but I still want to keep in touch, talk to you and be friends.

Souldrainer: Of course. Have a good one.

Deathbringer: You too.

Souldrainer is now offline.