The Thantir Eight were sitting around after locking the place up for the day, and they were now all working on the finer details of Teekay and Elkay’s wedding ceremony. Joining them were Kaytee and Telecharm, who were technically the same person, and Litvir, who Elksia and Akah were awkwardly measuring up with pieces of string and a laser-guided device they had borrowed from Kal. While the wedding wasn’t going to be a completely traditional Skyavok wedding (mostly because Elkay wasn’t a Skyavok), Teekay had insisted that Litvir wear a traditional Skyavok Voidpriest garb. Which meant that they needed to make one from scratch.
The biggest problem was a lack of funds. Most of the younger members of the Thantir were fresh, new Decay Lords, which meant they didn’t get much when it came to their Deathven-sponsored incomes. Teekay and Elkay had been really careful with their budgeting, but neither of them had realized just how expensive weddings were. Especially since there was so much they had to find or make themselves. The most notable thing was that Teekay wanted authentically coloured clothes and armour for himself, his bride, his witnesses and his groomsmaids. This meant black armour for Teekay, white armour and a white veil for Elkay and grey for everyone else. Elkay didn’t own any white armour, Teekay didn’t own any black armour suitable for a wedding and, while yes, Kaytee did have grey armour for himself and Eksi that they could wear as groomsmaids, Phovos, Akah and Tenuk didn’t really have much to wear either.
Luckily, Phovos had made herself insanely useful. Sure, Phovos was a very, very young and inexperienced Life Goddess with very little power, but she could at least create or summon some useful things. With some help from Galyn, Phovos was able to create the traditional black and white lily flowers normally used as decorations, and she’d also conjured up 10 square meters of white and black fabric. She’d complained that she was only capable of producing silk and lace, but to Teekay, that was nothing short of a miracle. Combined with the small, quartz crystals Phovos had managed to create, Teekay, Tahvra and Akah had worked together to make a lacy wedding veil and matching stomach wrap and gloves for Elkay, and a gem-studded silk stomach wrap, loin cloth and gloves for Teekay. They also made an optional cape but Teekay wasn’t sure if it was too much or not.
However, they still didn’t have much for everyone else. Phovos did have a nice, grey dress she was happy to let Tahvra spruce up, but it turned out Akah had pretty much nothing that wasn’t armour. Heavy white, gold and silver plating, that he wore all the time. And, on top of that, Akah wasn’t allowing anyone to measure him up. This annoyed Teekay a little too much.
“Come on! We’re not asking you to strip, we just want to measure you up for a nice suit or something!” Teekay argued.
“I’m not wearing a suit!” Akah argued back. “I’m a Lanex! We wear armour! Me wearing a suit is JUST as weird as Elkay wearing a suit! But not Phovos. Phovos would probably look really good in a suit.”
“He has a point, actually!” Elksia mused. “Multiple points. Like, Akah even wears a loin cloth. And stomach wrap. Same shit you Skyans wear. Actually… Akah’s got two points! Phovos, you’d be hot as fuck in a suit.”
“Yeah but missy Elksia, I can’t make a suit!” Tahvra frowned. “Fitted suits are hard to make!”
Phovos nodded in agreement. “Tahvra and Akah are both right, however, a fitted suit is really expensive.”
“Ugh, tell me about it…” Teekay growled. “Sure, we have a universal basic income but even with you and Elksia being paid a fuckton more than us because you two ain’t normal Decayons, I had no fucking idea how expensive this would all be.”
“Also it’s bullshit how Eksi gets less than us because he’s the youngest!” Phovos added, before turning to Litvir, who had been silent the entire time. “I don’t suppose you can help with funding, can you?”
Litvir snorted, then immediately apologized. “Sorry. I would love to help, but I get less than Eksi does.”
“How… how much do you get?” Phovos hesitantly asked.
“3200 Deathvenbucks every 4-ev.”
There was some very awkward counting on everyone’s fingers.
“So… you get… 80% of what Eksi gets… despite having been a Decay Lord for… what, three years now?” Akah eventually responded. “Has that, like, increased at all?”
Litvir shook his head. “No, not at all. Apparently the base amount is 3900. For new Decay Lords. Retvik and myself were not retroactively given increased UBIs. And, all things considered, I do not think we will ever get raises. According to the Travellers, since we are part of a Hidden Named Trio, we should be getting what Phovos and Elksia get, but we pissed Deathven off.”
“But why does Arkadin get paid more?” Phovos had more questions.
“As far as we are aware, he no longer gets a UBI as he is no longer considered a Decay Lord or, well… alive…” Litvir sighed. “But Arkay told Retvik and I that he has killed multiple universes, and apparently that massively inflates how much you are paid. That is also why Kal have a very large UBI, they killed their universe, and everything they have done since is an attempt to make up for the guilt they were cursed with.”
“Well, also, it’s because we’re licensed purifiers. No one likes doing purification work so we get paid a LOT to do it!”
Tah had teleported out of nowhere, as he tended to do. While the other teleporting members of the Thantir didn’t do it much because it strained their minds and bodies, Tah was mostly mechanical and it didn’t bother him at all.
“After a year-string, the Thantir as a whole will all be licensed purifiers too and you’ll all get paid more too! Anyway, that… isn’t quite why I’m here. Well, it is, but… uh…”
“What’s up, Tah?” Tahvra clicked. “Do you need us for something?”
Tah shook his head and clicked back. “No, no. We’re all good for now. Koh overheard you all discussing how things were expensive and all that. So we decided to offer our assistance.”
Teekay wanted to smile, but he felt bad. “We appreciate it, but you six literally bought this island and built this base and, like, everything. It’d be wrong for you to help us with my stupid wedding.”
Tah clicked some more. “You have no idea how wealthy we are. We’ve been Decay Lords for 21 year-strings and we don’t eat, drink, breathe or do anything, and we sleep out of boredom. Everything you see here cost us approximately one 4-ev of income from the six of us, maybe two? We were going to buy you and Elkay a ship as a wedding gift but I think just paying for your wedding and making sure you both have a perfect event is probably a more worthwhile and memorable gift.”
“Uh, Tah, you realize we already have four ships, right?” Phovos muttered.
“Hah!” Tah laughed, but it came out weird due to his mechanical voice. “You can never have enough ships.”
“Then why do you have that old junk heap of a ship?” Litvir asked. “You can afford a new one.”
“That’s more nostalgia than anything else. We built the ship ourselves, out of four old Metrum ships that were otherwise going to be scrapped. It’s the only Metrum ship left in existence, technically.”
“Huh…” Litvir turned to Teekay. “You ought to accept Tah’s proposal. They have more money than sense.”
“Yeah but I feel bad…”
“We wouldn’t have offered if we couldn’t afford it!” Tah tried to be reassuring. “Seriously. Litvir’s absolutely right, we do have more money than sense. Have you SEEN Nuh’s personal quarters lately?”
Teekay tried to think of some kind of counterargument but realized he didn’t have one. “Alright. I still feel bad though. A wedding is traditionally supposed to come from the groom’s pocket.”
Tah clicked yet again, then pointed at Litvir. “You’re getting, no offence, that guy to marry you to an Amalgam Mimic, something so rare that there’s only, like, six of them recorded in history. While having a Life Goddess, an annoying shapeshifter and someone who refuses to take off his armour as your witnesses. I know you want some tradition, but sometimes it’s also good to let other traditions go. Especially when they’re something no one will be thinking about.”
“Fuck, you’re absolutely right…” Teekay relented. “Still, like, Elkay and I, we want to do something for you in return. As a thank you for your generosity.”
Tah shrugged. “I’ll have a chat with my brothers and get back to you on that. In the mean time though, make some shopping lists, alright?”
“Thank you, Tah!” Teekay smiled weakly.
To Tah’s surprise, pretty much everyone got up and bowed to him. Tah found that a little odd, but he didn’t question it.
“No worries. Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Shield Six doesn’t maintain itself. See you all later!”
Before anyone could say anything, Tah vanished in a puff of sparks.
“Well, that went well!” Elksia chirped. “So, Akah, you gonna wear a suit?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope!” Teekay beamed. “Dude, we’re buying you a suit.”
Akah crossed his arms and frowned. “Alright, fine. But Phovos and Tenuk have to wear suits too.”
“Deal!”