“May I have a word with you in private please, Elkay-En?”
Elkay-En glanced at the Decay Lord towering over him. Litvir wasn’t that tall a member of the Thantir, he was actually somewhat in the middle, but Elkay-En was rather short, and he didn’t like the fanged Retha-like being.
“What have I done wrong?” Elkay-En immediately asked.
“Nothing. I just want to have a quick chat with you. Please, come with me.”
Elkay-En sighed, then did as he was told. He got up and followed the caped vampire creature to the main offices, back to the room in which he had signed up to be a Decayling. However, Litvir led him to his own desk, which was built for a larger being. But before Litvir sat down himself, he grabbed a cushion and put it on the stool in front of his desk, so Elkay-En could see better.
“I feel like I have done something wrong…” Elkay-En muttered as both he and Litvir finally sat down.
“Well, you have not done anything wrong!” Litvir smiled.
That smile unnerved Elkay-En. Litvir immediately noticed.
“You do not like me.”
“I don’t like you at all. You’re scary, leering, unnerving. I would call you a freak but that’d be unfair to freaks… I… um… I’m… sorry…”
Litvir was completely unbothered by Elkay-En’s outburst. “You are angry and upset. Do you want to tell me what is bothering you?”
“Everything!” Elkay-En exclaimed. “Everything! My head is still scrambled! I’m a corrupted monster, and you are all being nice to me and giving me chances and things like that! I spent the other day sitting with a Lanex, two Vohra, a short Beh’evok and a furry fox creature drinking from little tea cups. And they were all nice to me. And Arkay is being nice to me and trying to teach me stuff and… I… I don’t deserve any of this… And because I do not deserve this kindness, I am lashing out…”
Litvir nodded. “You are lashing out, yes. The problem right now is that you believe yourself to be bad and thus everything has to be bad, when in fact, you are blaming yourself for the badness of others. You are failing to recognise that you are a victim and you are not giving yourself a chance to recover and rebuild.”
“I don’t-”
“You do…” Litvir trailed off, then closed his eyes briefly. Elkay-En picked up that there was something telepathic going on, but he had no idea what. Litvir was just so oddly alien to Elkay-En, despite also being Threanic. “Apologies, I was just borrowing one of Arkay’s little spiels.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your little brother is, weirdly, also your much older brother. He has been through a lot, he has seen a lot. He has watched universes unfold. And he often has a lot to say about beings who believe themselves to be bad, people who have been forced to do bad things, often just to survive. He attracts them. He also attracts people who used to genuinely be bad and have changed themselves for the better. Now, I definitely fall into the latter category, but you fall into the former category.”
“I… I guess…”
Litvir shrugged. “Either way, it does not matter that much. Arkay just suggested another of his spiels to me and I think you need to hear it more. What I want to point out is that the past is no longer an issue. It does not matter who you were or anything like that. You have been given a second chance, a fresh start, and you are not embracing it.”
“I don’t deserve-”
“Why do you think you do not deserve a second chance?” Litvir asked. “From what you have told us, you were forced to serve Epanophovon, and you did not even do any real corrupting, you went from universe to universe, offering protection. That is not a particularly bad thing to do. By Corruption standards, you are saint-like. If anyone deserves a second chance, I would say it is you. But in all honesty? That does not matter. We can just ignore literally everything that happened to you before you purged the darkness from your body. This is your second chance. You really need to make the most of it.”
Elkay-En sighed. “You are right.”
“Of course I am right! I am often right about a lot of things! But, let me put this bluntly. You are concerned that we will not accept you. What you do not know is that we have accepted far, far worse. I was a complete monster, an evil mad scientist, and Retvik accepted me. Galyn is a former god of war, and he was accepted by Itaviir. Arkay was the god of death and decay for two separate universes, and we all accept him. The worst you ever did was get Corrupted, and that was not your fault. We accept you, regardless. We HAVE accepted you. You need to accept yourself, accept your old past, put that past behind you and move onwards, embracing the new you.”
“That… that’s hard.”
“Oh, it really is hard. But you can do it. You are a smart person. And once you do accept things and start moving on? I think you will better be able to start learning new things…” Litvir paused briefly, then inspected Elkay-En a little. “However, I actually… have some alternate thoughts as well, which I think are worth suggesting.”
“Like what?”
“Well, I think, as well as putting your corrupted past behind you, I think you need to put your mortal and genetic past behind you as well.”
“What do you mean?”
Litvir smiled, then leaned forward. “I think you need to forget that you are Arkay’s sibling, that you are Vekeus’s sibling and Phovos’s sibling. You are annoyed that your brothers, who were below you, are now above you. You NEED to ignore all of that and just focus on you. You are still number one. You just need to remember that and start acting like it.”
“I’m just a Decayling though.”
“For now? Yes. Once you have done your trial, you will be a Decay Lord, and we will all be equals again. But, more importantly, you will be both Life Goddess and Decay Lord. And in Deathven’s silly society? That does put you above most vok. Get the Decayling stuff done, stop wallowing in self-hatred, forget your past, move on and you will be on top once more.”
Elkay-En remained silent for a moment, thinking about Litvir’s words. After a while, he looked up at Litvir and smiled.
“That’s very true. I need to get up and get going. You are still weird though.”
Litvir shrugged. “Of course I am weird. I am a psionic, vampiric Rethan with a thing for capes and a penchant for fucking your sibling.”
“Yeah… you just made things even weirder.”
“Indeed. I do that a lot. Now get off your stupid butt and go and get on with your studies. You have a lot to do.”
Elkay-En tutted, then got up and did as he was told. “Alright. Thank you for the weird pep talk.”
“No worries. Have a good day.”
“You too.”