“Why… why did you show me that…”
The Whenvern looked on as Arkadin fidgeted nervously, visibly trembling, trying to focus on the small screen he had been given. The picture on the screen had long faded and was now playing nothing but static, cosmic background radiation that flickered in and out of existence.
“Why did you show me that?” Arkadin repeated, now trying to regain his composure. “WHY DID YOU SHOW ME THAT?”
Outside, several mortals were trying to work out what was going on. All they knew was that the Whenvern wanted to speak to the Thantophor on private matters. As far as they were concerned though, all they could see were a Thraki and a Rethavok sitting calmly on a sofa.
“Kairos, you just fucking traumatized me…”
“I needed to show you what could have happened. An alternative to what is happening now.”
“Why though…” Arkadin rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t realised he’d been crying, and now his inky black tears were blocking his vision. “Was that what all the alternate futures you stopped were like? Did I become Arkedetelos in all of them?”
“That was what most of them were like, yes. Epani attacking you was the catalyst, which I stopped from happening. I also pinched some things here and there so that your mortal friends were around to calm you down, which reduced the catastrophic risk further. But the chances of you going feral, even now, are still a serious issue.”
“You’re saying that could still happen?” Arkadin exclaimed. “That nightmare is still potentially possible?”
Kairos hesitated. “The chances are very small… but yes… that could all still happen…”
There was still a lot of worry in the air. Arkadin began rocking back and forth, trying to calm himself down. Kairos remained silent, waiting for the Thantophor to make the next move.
Eventually, Arkadin spoke, lowering his voice greatly.
“I shouldn’t be allowed to exist.”
Kairos eyed Arkadin, not quite sure how to respond. “Well…”
“You can’t deny it. I shouldn’t be allowed to exist. That sort of wanton destruction, the death and slaughter… If I didn’t exist, then all we’d have is plain old entropy. That future could never happen.”
“Well…” Kairos was struggling to think of any sort of response. “Well… technically… technically, even without you, there’s still a significant risk of both corruption-related death and false-vacuum death… Just because…”
“All it took was me being stabbed in the head and this universe was killed. That’s what you showed me. I lost my mind and you all paid for my mistakes. If I leave, if I die, sure, I end up in that empty, loveless void, but at least this universe will be spared for a while, right? The only causes of death will be natural ones.”
“You’re a natural cause of death.”
“I’m a fucking monster…” Arkadin put his head in his hands, rubbing furiously at his eyes. “I shouldn’t fucking exist. So much pain and suffering and I’m at the forefront of it all. You can sit there and say that it’s not my fault but forty years ago you tried to kill me for being a death god and literally a couple of weeks ago, Yisini mind-controlled me in an attempt to stop me from being a death god as well! I am the problem with this universe. Not you lot.”
Kairos sighed. “Yes, that’s true. You are a death god, you do kill everything. But the difference between you and Arkedetelos is that you can choose.”
“So?” Arkadin shrugged. “Even if I can choose when you die, you still die anyway. Well, maybe not you. That alternative you showed me, you managed to escape with your girlfriend. But everything else still dies.”
“Arkedetelos kills relentlessly. You don’t. While yes, you are a death god, you do kill things, you kill a lot of things, you do so at a natural pace. But you are also merciful, Arkadin. No matter what horrible things people think of you, no matter what you think of yourself, despite everything, you are still… good.”
Arkadin looked up at Kairos. “You… you mean that?”
“Yes. I mean, a bad death god would have wanted revenge for what I did to you. You would have murdered Yisini for what she did to you. But you’re capable of forgiveness and mercy. There’s no forgiveness or mercy if we leave death in the hands of the unknown.”
“So… I… I should continue to exist?”
Kairos nodded. “Yes. If you didn’t exist, then we’d either have a godless death that knows no mercy, we’d have Arkedetelos or… or…” The Whenvern sighed, not wanting to finish his sentence. “Or I’d be a death god. After all, decay is simply the result of forward time and the transformation of energy into lower forms. If you weren’t the Thantophor, then I would be the Thantophor. And I don’t have the same capacity of forgiveness and mercy that you do.”
Arkadin stopped feeling sorry for himself and looked up at Kairos. “You mean that?”
“Well, yes.”
“Well, that makes me feel a bit better…” Arkadin tutted. “I still want to not exist. But you’re right, I guess. Better me consciously doing this than… than IT doing this…”
Kairos got up, clapping his wings together. “Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page now. Because I need to speak to Kinisis about this whole mess and you understanding how important you are is important to conveying this message to Kinisis.”
“Wait, you’re gonna show that to Kinisis?”
“An abridged version, yes.”
“Why?”
The Whenvern grunted. “Because… I’m scared that what Kinisis is doing to you, making you a prisoner and drugging you and keeping you down… that might cause Arkedetelos to rise up… Plus, I want you to be happy!” Kairos quickly added. “Because you’re not happy here. No one is. But I felt you needed to know.”
Arkadin glanced at the window. The mortals outside were still trying to look in. “Well, as horrible as all of that was, thank you for showing me. And thank you for preventing all that from happening…”
“None of it was your fault, you know,” Kairos sighed as he prepared to leave. “We do this to you.”
“Yeah, but we could all do with being better…” Arkadin replied as he got up and inched towards the Whenvern. “You could be nicer to me, but I could be nicer to you too…”
Kairos looked down at his wrist, to find that Arkadin was holding onto him.
“You don’t want me to leave?”
“Not yet. Just stay, for a little longer?”
“Why?”
Arkadin hesitated. “Because what you showed me has scared me. And I’d… I’d like you to stay for a bit.”
Kairos grunted, then sat back down. “Very well. I’ll stay for a bit…”
The Thantophor smiled, then disappeared into the kitchen, only to reappear with two tubs of ice cream. “Thank you, brother…”