My Life, Flashing By

Okay, let me recap.

My name is Kayel Theanon.

I’m 63 years old. A middle-aged Rethan. I’m an L-Class Ksa, technically retired, legally deceased. Right now, I am barricaded in a house filled with many of the materialistic items I have wanted throughout my life, while the monster that assaulted me and raped me 24 years ago is fighting to protect me from some other monster who wants to rape me, skin me alive then use my bloody corpse to create some sort of ‘angelic child’ (their words, not mine).

Prior to that, lots of things happened. Maybe I should start from the beginning.

I was born in 1952. September 19th. Post-Deitic War. My father was the then Vice General Elizar Aspidon, my mother one of his Ksa, Theay Theanon. I was born in secret. I wasn’t supposed to exist. I was immediately chosen to be brought up as a Ksa and, as soon as General Elizar was kicked out of office, I became a member of the L-Class Ksa, protecting the new Vice General. I don’t mention him by name. He didn’t treat us well.

When I was 13, something horrible happened. I found I was pregnant. Medics checked me all over. I was very under age, the legal age for consent has always been 15 for Rethans, but back then, for Ksa, it was 25. But the medics said I’d never had sex before. I hadn’t. I didn’t really understand the concept.

It was a virgin egg. I couldn’t get rid of it. I laid it and it was taken away from me. Rightfully so. I was in no state to raise a child. I lost my position as leader of the L-Class Ksa, and lost any desire to really do anything apart from my job. I continued to serve the Vice General until he fell out of power, losing horribly to a young, 25 year old (at the time) General called Elkay Theanon. My virgin kid had grown up and become the second most powerful Rethan alive.

The former Vice General gave me a lot of trouble for that. I found myself being beaten a lot. I shrugged it off. Up until IT happened.

It was 25 years ago, nearly. Elkay Theanon had invited several former Vice Generals round for a meeting. I think he was aware of what was going on with me. He never said it aloud, but he knew I was his mother. He still didn’t have his own Ksa yet, and I wondered if he wanted to use us L-Class Ksa or something. That is what I hoped.

Something happened. Something exploded. I later found out that the explosion was a Cassid Teleportation Grenade, which is supposedly non-lethal, but teleports anyone hit by its shrapnel to random locations. Of course, I did my job and leaped in front of the former Vice Generals. All us L-Class Ksa did.

I was teleported to the worst place possible. At the same time the Vice General was having his meeting, the Correction Facility had just reawoken a being from stasis. This creature was known as the Defiler, the last of the Trehans, and they had informed him of the death of his entire race. I was trapped, inside his cell, with him.

Being frozen for three thousand years and being hit with so much grief, he attacked me. I tried my best to defend myself, but I was knocked out, bones broken, limbs twisted out of shape. Apparently it took twenty Rethans to get the Defiler off me.

I woke up in a hospital bed. I had been comatose for three days, and in that time, I had been fired from my job, reinstated, then laid off from my job again. I found out a few days later that the Defiler had raped me during his assault and, against all possibility, had made me pregnant.

The only beings willing to help me were Vice General Elkay, who paid my expenses while I recovered and put me in a home, and Veeyel, my fellow L-Class and the only vok who believed me all those years ago. It was Veeyel who convinced me to keep the kid, and, without a job now, I wanted to raise it, to be nothing like its father. But I was more damaged than I thought, and my little egg was taken away from me after someone broke into my house and I nearly killed them. I wasn’t allowed to know who would adopt my little kid.

Seems that fate clearly had a beef with me though, as I suddenly found myself pregnant again. I was told I’d be allowed to keep this kid if I behaved, which, with Veeyel’s help, I did. But it turns out I was pregnant. I died of internal bleeding after laying five eggs.

Except I didn’t.

I woke up on a slab in a morgue, with a voice in the back of my mind. I escaped and left Rethan society behind, becoming… something else. A nothingness really. It took two decades for me to come to terms with coming back from beyond death. Those years were spent roaming around the edge of civilization, listening and ignoring the voice in my head, learning of the universe. The only place I stayed for any significant amount of time was the Dovahzul mountains of Portalia, where I lived among Thraki, but even that was temporary. The only bright side to all of this was the unlocking of powers I never knew I had.

I wandered for a long time, until I had regained my strength. I decided I wanted to kill the Defiler. He had destroyed my life, I wanted to destroy his. I found that other Rethans were reasonably… supporting of my grief and insanity, and after a long few weeks of hitch-hiking to the frozen prisons, I faced the Defiler, only to find myself unwilling to kill him.

Oh, I hurt him badly, I did. But I couldn’t finish the job. The Defiler, calling himself by his true name, Psivee-En, explained how he had brought me back to life and had been protecting me as I wandered. I left him there and set off to find my kids.

It turned out that my oldest kid, good old Elkay, had adopted all my other kids, and raised them by his side, as the K- and Ξ-Class Ksa. They were all fit and healthy and I was ever so proud of them. Even my second kid, an adorable little thing who looked exactly like me, with even more yellow. I found out their names. Arkay was the splitting image of me. Veekay, Arksi, Eksi, Thitaksi and Psiksi all looked a bit like me. I was so glad to meet them all and they were happy to see me. They didn’t need me though. They were adults.

I didn’t go back to wandering. After seeing the success story that was my own family, I tried building back my life. The L-Class Ksa were still partially active, spending their days defending one of the many outposts of planet Kolasi, and I joined them there, where I was welcomed back with open arms. We had a place to live and lots of free time, which I used to better understand the magical powers I had discovered I had over the years.

During this time, I found a new strength inside me. The voices in my head left me, as did my anger and hatred. I discovered forgiveness. For all those years that I had been wandering, he had been trying to repent for his sins. I visited him one more time, and listened to everything he said. He was disgusted with himself. Full of self-loathing. I pitied him. Then I forgave him.

I headed back to my new home on Kolasi, feeling content.

For a while, life was good.

Then the Kalsa Warriors of the Vohran nest to the north started rebelling. They overthrew their leader and demanded independence. Some fucking Rethan retard started to fear that Ksa like me would do the same thing, so they locked us away. It took all my magical might to get as many Ksa out of that infernal prison as possible. Before I knew it, I found myself with no option but to help the Kalsa Warriors. And help them I did.

They got their freedom but it cost me dearly.

You see, I fucked up. I didn’t manage to teleport everyone out. I accidentally left Veeyel behind. I tried to go back and save him, but they moved him away from me, constantly. I tried. And they tried to find me, by questioning Veeyel until he became more broken than I had ever been. He went insane, then he tried to kill himself. He nearly managed it.

I felt guilty for what happened. I took all blame for those harmed during the little Vohran rebellion. I was to be frozen away in stasis. When I’d eventually wake up, everyone I’d ever known would have been dead. I did not want to end up the way Psivee-En did. I tried to evade my punishment by putting myself into a coma. But I misjudged and ended up killing myself.

That was when I woke up on the shores of Kinigi again. But Death Herself rejected me once more. I was cursed, she said. I could not die yet. She sent me back, abandoned in the real world. I ran, scared, panicking. I fell into the arms of someone who wanted to hurt me. A monster who wanted to use me for foul acts.

Psivee-En though saved me. He has been protecting me ever since. Treating me like a spoiled Cassid child. Hence this house. Hence all of this.

They are still fighting outside. I have used my powers to create shields around every opening to this house. It feels more and more like a cell, designed to protect me. All I can do is wait. If that monster gets to me, I… I do not know what will happen. I am scared, I won’t deny it. Hopefully, Psivee-En, someone I once feared and hated but now almost love, will protect me.

Th-there is banging outside.

Please, please don’t let that monster get to me…