“Do you want a drink?” Vikalos asked as he put his clipboard down on the table. “I’m buying.”
Arkay shook his head, his eyes focused on the table. “No thank you. I have water.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Vikalos glanced at the hardly-touched bottle of water, then headed inside the coffee shop. He ordered his standard drink, a milky, frothy drink that was more sugar and milk than coffee, taking a sip as he headed back outside. In this time, Arkay had hardly moved.
“I see that something is troubling you, Arkay. Do you want to talk?” Vikalos sat back down, keeping his clipboard to one side.
“Power went out this morning in my quarters…” Arkay sighed. “Stupid mistake. It’s pissed me off.”
“Is it not fixed yet?”
“No. Don’t know when.”
“It will get fixed soon though, I assume?”
Arkay nodded. Vikalos could tell that he wasn’t feeling right, because Arkay was staring at the table, rather than engaging in eye contact with Vikalos.
“Is that all that is bother you?”
This time, Arkay slouched in his chair, showing one of his many signs of anxiety by playing with his fingers. “It’s embarrassing.”
“I will not judge you, Arkay…” Vikalos spoke softly, then sighed as a couple of drunken Decayons wandered by. “I am happy to listen.”
Arkay hesitated for a moment, then rubbed his eyes, a vague attempt to hide his tears. “It’s been a roller coaster lately. Everything is… not alright.”
“Do you want to talk?”
More hesitation. Vikalos knew there was something eating Arkay from within.
“Last Friday… no, Friday before…” Arkay sniffed, trying to calm himself and not cry. “I asked a friend out on a date. Then I went on a second date last Tuesday and he said he just wanted to be friends.”
“Are you sad about that?”
“I was… upset and angry, but I understood why. Felt bad for even considering it.”
“Did you have a nice time at least?” Vikalos asked.
“Yeah. That gap between the first and second date, I felt good. Better than good. Great even. Even on the second date, I didn’t feel upset until I was alone.”
“Are the memories from your date bothering you?”
“No…” Arkay shook his head. “I feel embarrassed about it, but then somevok mentioned dating apps. So I tried the main app and, well… I didn’t expect folks to actually find me attractive. And I really didn’t think I’d… get so much attention. One of them was charming enough to… well…” Arkay trailed off. He was sweating slightly, and Vikalos noticed some reddening on Arkay’s cheeks.
“Well?”
“We… sent pictures to each other. It was… nice.”
Vikalos tilted his head to one side. “Did you not want to do any of that?”
“I did, but I feel like I’m constantly doing something wrong, and…” Arkay trailed off again. “I’m terrified of becoming pregnant or getting ill or something. It’s all new to me and I’m scared I’ll fuck something up. Like, if it hurts or something.”
Vikalos leaned forward. “You are scared of new experiences. It is okay to be scared, because you are taking a big step forward, you are exploring the road ahead of you and building up your self-esteem. And you can stop travelling forward whenever you like.”
“I… guess… What if it hurts though? What if…” Arkay tried to curl up into a ball. “It’s all so… new to me…”
Vikalos patted Arkay on the shoulder. “You can always stop. You are in control of your own body. And if you are worried about these things, as long as you follow the rules of sex, then you will be fine.”
“Yeah… I suppose…” Arkay relaxed ever so slightly.
“You should be proud though.”
“Why?”
“The first few steps in any relationship are difficult,” Vikalos smiled. “You are taking these first few steps. Despite the problems you have faced, you are doing better.”
Arkay sighed. “Am I?”
“Yes, otherwise I would not have said those last two sentences.”
A small smile flickered across Arkay’s face. Vikalos noticed this, and jotted it down on his clipboard, alongside a few other things.
“Very well. This concludes our social meeting. I have others to speak to now, so I must leave. But believe me, you are improving. Even if you do not see it yourself.”
“Thank you…” Arkay whispered as he picked himself up. “I… I appreciate the help…”
“No worries, Arkay. If you have any questions or anything like that, you know where to find me. Speak to you soon, Arkay.”
“Bye, Vikalos…” Arkay waved weakly as the Decay Lord wandered off. “Thank you…”