Better Leadership Pending

“You’re basically in charge again, yet you still work from this tiny office?”

Rethais was literally just about to leave his office when the pink and purple cloud appeared. After a couple of seconds, the cloud stopped expanding and thickened into a real form, that of the Allbirther, the serpentine Goddess of Life. But also now the Goddess of Death too. Despite this abrupt appearance, Rethais had very little patience to speak to this deity. He was trying to get to a meeting with the six other still functional Rethan leaders, all desperately trying to stop their society from collapsing. Again.

“What do you want, Allbirther?” Rethais grunted, shoving paperwork into his leather satchel. “I am very, very busy right now.”

“I can tell. You guys are still reeling from the mind control Kenon placed over you all. They don’t recognise you as High General, do they?” The Allbirther was leaning somewhat seductively on Rethais’s desk, her long, snaking body coiling around the handful of chairs on the other side of the room.

“The problem is that most Rethavok have stopped responding to anything above basic commands from their immediate bosses, causing our defence structure to fall apart and blocking communication between generals in different domains and areas.”

With a flick of her tail, Yisini closed the door behind her and held it shut. Much to this Rethan’s dismay, she needed him here, right now. “Guessed as much. I can fix that. I just need some DNA and a chat with someone like you, who isn’t broken. And also happens to be literally the perfect Rethan specimen.”

Rethais paused, putting his bag on the table. “What do you mean?”

“By the perf-”

“No, I know I am essentially the perfect Rethan specimen, second only to my own kids-”

“YOU HAVE KIDS?” the Allbirther suddenly burst out. “How many? Are you gonna make more? You should make more! Pump out like 50 babies and you’ll have perfected the Rethavok species in like three generations!”

“Uh…” Rethais stuttered. “I have… three kids, one adopted.”

“Why not more?”

“I was not allowed to have more.”


“Because my existence is part of a long-running experiment…”

“That’s fucking retarded!” Yisini interrupted, not waiting for a real explanation, before stopping and taking several long, drawn out breaths. She then straightened herself out once again. “Okay, I’m gonna make a list of things I need from you. I’ve worked out how to fix the slew of problems Kenon created, the problem is I need a bunch of good fluid samples from you, because I can’t use the ones I took from your old High General. BUT I need a few things from you in return. Aside from your DNA.”

Rethais felt confused. He must have looked confused as well. “You have samples of Elkay’s DNA?”

“Yeah. You think I actually went and killed him? Nah, got a huge amount of data from him, turned out the cunt is a Kiniseon being though so I can’t properly apply his stupid-good genetics to you lot. You’re the next best case mostly because your age means the data from you will cover most of the Rethan population. By my calculations…” Yisini trailed off, counting on her fingers briefly. Normally, this would not have inspired confidence in Rethais, but he had quickly realised that the Allbirther was naked, and, worse, there were lewd thoughts creeping into his mind. “Oh, about two days. It’ll take two days to finalize the concoction and get it spread over the populace.”

“Two… days…” Rethais shook his head, desperately trying to get rid of the thoughts before Yisini noticed. She’d already noticed, but Yisini didn’t mind. “You said you… needed something from me?”

The Allbirther grinned, snapping her fingers. A sheet of paper appeared in her hand, which she gave to Rethais. “I need you Rethans to hold an election. In order to… preserve the mortal races while Kinisis and Epani do their work, I’m going to basically be ruling over all of you. But I don’t want to be an asshole like Kenon, so I want every race to democratically elect a leader, who will then help me keep you all well looked after.”

“So you want us to hold an election… Alright, we can do that…”

“There’s also one more thing!” Yisini continued. “Alongside these elected leaders, I will be hand-picking individuals to serve me directly. One member from every sapient race. The idea is to have someone reliable and knowledgable, even if the common vok vote for someone… stupid. For the Rethavok, I have already made my choice.”

“Is it me?” Rethais grunted.

“It is!” Yisini beamed, clapping her hands together. “And I can think of no better individual to represent you all! You’ll get to live a life of luxury at my fortress and will help whoever is elected in ruling over Rethan matters!”

Rethais sighed. “Do I get to bring my partner at least?”

“Of course!”


Yisini eyed Rethais. “What, did you think I’d say no?”

“Well…” Rethais hesitated. “Yes, I did. Kenon was a tyrant and I expect you to be the same.”

“Technically I am a tyrant since I am taking over leadership by force, but I get that!” Yisini continued to smile. “So, you got all of this, right? You’ll serve me as an advisor, alongside whoever will be your new Rethan High General. The only other thing I need is for your family to have more kids, but eh, I can ask your kiddles to do that for me. We all clear on everything?”

Rethais nodded.

“Good!” Yisini removed her tail from the door, allowing Rethais to leave. “Have a good one, and I’ll see you soon!”