Ceres Lich

“Alright. There are three areas left on Ceres. What do you prefer, Spy, Interception or Hijack?”

Inaros grunted to himself as he mulled over his three options. He stared glumly at the navigation panel, not really enjoying either of those choices. But that was all his cohort had left.

“What kind of Spy mission?” Inaros finally replied with a question.

“Standard Grineer vaults. It’s Ceres though, so we’ll only need two of the vaults…” On the other hand, Volt was somewhat regretting asking Inaros for advice. He had been pursuing a Kuva Lich for the last few hours now, but the Lich, a grumpy, somewhat amusing guy with a Kuva Hind, didn’t want to spawn. In fact, Volt had somehow managed to clear out nearly the entirety of Ceres, looking for him.

“And Interception?”

“It’s Interception. Nothing special about it.”

Inaros was hunting a Lich as well. His Lich though was currently on Mercury and he too was running out of nodes. But since Volt had just assisted him with a bunch of missions, he gathered he could probably get some Murmur progress off of Volt’s Lich.

“And Hijack?”

“It’s normal Hijack. It’s not within a Sortie Area though so there’ll be no stolen Nullifier bullshit…”

Volt watched as Inaros paced up and down. The two of them had been chilling out in Larunda, as Inaros had finally managed to complete the shopping list of tasks required to obtain the Saturn Six armour plating. The combination of Volt’s bad explaining and Inaros’s bad understanding meant that he’d missed out on a rather trivial Nightwave task, but after some messing around, they had worked it out.

Really, these days, Inaros didn’t even need Volt any more. In the space of a couple of months, Inaros had leaped from “constantly asking Volt for advice” to “being a Mastery Rank 19 – Tiger and constantly asking Volt for advice.” Volt didn’t mind that at all, but his actual presence in missions was rarely ever required.

“Alright, we’ll do the Hijack then. More fun than sneaking around in a Spy mission.”

Volt nodded then set the coordinates. Within only a few minutes, they had entered the atmosphere via their landing crafts and were ready to go.

“Okay, you kill the Thralls, I push the cart!” Inaros beamed.

“Actually, I can push the cart fine as well!” Volt tutted, speeding off and dashing around a corner. “You can do the murdering, if you want.”

Inaros paused, then smiled some more, always happy to murder Grineer. But his solo murder spree didn’t last long as a second Inaros appeared. This other Inaros seemed to attract an unwanted visitor.

“Hey, a Lich!” Volt exclaimed as he activated a console, removing a Fomorian Power Core from its protective capsule and locking it onto the nearby tram system. The Grineer had already cut the tram line’s power, but Volt’s massive supply of Overshields meant he could power the lines himself.

Inaros though replied with a grunt. “Yes, a Lich, but not OUR Liches!”

“Yeah, sorry, that’s my Lich…” the other Inaros moaned. “Fucking bastard will fucking di-”

The other Inaros’s monologue was suddenly cut off by the cold laughter of a female Lich as she fired a Kuva Bramma at both the Inaroses. Volt hesitated, not sure whether to stay with the Power Core or go and help them. But as a horde of Grineer arrived, happily willing to shoot at said nuclear device, Volt swiftly decided to stick around, pushing the Core to extraction on his own.

“Alright, you two, be quick about-”

“WHY IS THIS LICH HURTING US?” the other Inaros shouted. “DID SHE FUCKING ONESHOT ME?”

“You’re an Inaros, you shouldn’t be dying-” Inaros’s own words were cut off as radiation flashed around. He realised that maybe there was a reason the other Inaros had ust been downed.

Meanwhile, Volt was still busy pushing the Power Core. He had to be careful though. If he got to extraction before they’d killed the Lich, the Lich would escape and the other Inaros would have to suffer even further by the madwoman’s taunts. But he was essentially already at extraction, so now he had to delay until the two Inaroses had finished their fight. Normally, that would be fine, but Volt was currently powering a tram line with his shields. A line that was currently transporting a massive ship power core. Which was essentially a massive nuclear bomb. That was being shot at by Grineer.

“How are you guys doing?” Volt shouted as he placed as many Electric Shields as he could muster.

“BAD!” the other Inaros nearly screamed, flailing around with melee weapons, trying to down their Lich. Luckily, Inaros was around to lend a hand with his Kuva Bramma, which he could finally use now that the radiation had cleared. With a smile, Inaros pulled the heavy strong on his bow, then unleashed a barrage of bomb-lets, stunning the Lich.

Seeing an opportunity, the other Inaros leaped forward, slashing the Lich with his Parazon, the blade slicing through the critical tubes that fed Kuva into the Grineer. Exhausted, the Lich fell to her knees, awaiting her fate.

The other Inaros hesitated, then snarled. In a single, decisive moment, the Kuva Lich screeched in agony then dissolved into nothingness.

“Good job!” Inaros beamed, wiping bits of Lich dust off his bow. “Now for our Liches!”

“Yeah, yeah, good job!” Volt exclaimed, still defending what was essentially a stolen nuclear bomb from the Grineer hordes. “Can we get going now?”

“Oh, yeah, sure!” the two Inaroses both smiled. “Let’s get out of here…”