Chats About Awful Relationships of the Past

It took a moment for Retvik to pick himself up off the floor. He didn’t think he was that heavy, but clearly, being a 3m tall armoured monster who was also on fire was too much for the chair he had just sat on.

“Uh, you alright boss?” Teekay asked. He, Eksi, Akah and Tenuk would have offered to help Retvik up, but Retvik was already a bit embarrassed, and he had already managed to stagger back to his feet.

“I am fine…” Retvik grunted.

“How’s Litvir?” Eksi immediately queried.

“Grumpy and trying to sleep. Which is why I am out here. I think Litvir wanted some peace and quiet for a bit…” Retvik trailed off, glanced around and wandered off briefly. However, he quickly returned with drinks for everyone, as well as a question of his own. “So, Teekay, are you planning on having a Singles’ Party?”

Teekay took one of the drinks, then tilted his head to one side. “What is that?”

“Gendered species, unlike Rethans, tend to call them stag dos for males and hen nights for females, I think?” Akah suggested. “It’s some sort of celebration of the last days of being single and generally involved getting drunk and partying.”

“Oh, you have different names for the parties of different genders?” Retvik replied. “That is quite interesting. Are they separate parties?”

Akah nodded. So did Tenuk. “Us Kronospasts always called them Bull and Cow Parties. We normally got drunk and high then hired a bunch of strippers, before taking baths in a special pool of wine.”

Teekay and Eksi continued to tilt their heads to one side, not really understanding this tradition. It seemed that what Retvik was thinking of wasn’t quite the same.

“That… is rather different from a Singles’ Party. A Singles’ Party is normally a simple get-together where you have a drink around a fire discussing past relationships and bad dates…” Retvik paused, then frowned. “Actually, now I have said that out loud, I do not think a Singles’ Party would work well for Elkay.”

“Why not?” Akah clicked. “What you described sounds genuinely quite sweet!”

Retvik glanced at Teekay, silently asking him if Retvik could answer Akah’s question or not. Teekay shrugged, then decided to answer himself.

“I was Elkay’s first ever partner. He doesn’t really have any past romantic experiences. And, in all honesty, apart from some insanely awkward relationships I tried when I was ten, I don’t have anything nice to discuss either.”

“Ah fair enough… Wait, ten?” Tenuk suddenly exclaimed. “What the fuck were you doing trying to have a relationship at the age of ten?”

Teekay shook his head and sighed. “Hah… there’s a reason why I said it was awkward.”

“Mate, you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to!” Eksi butted in. “You’re K-Class, everyone understands that what happens in D-Class and K-Class stays there.”

Teekay however sighed some more. “K-Class is gone, it’s all gone… Eh, whatever. I’ve already talked about this with Elkay and he was his normal, overly understanding self. I’ll tell you lot, but I would like to ask all of you to not spread it around. If someone asks you, tell them to ask me directly.”

“Of course!” Akah was his normal, optimistic self. “Whatever you wish, Teekay!”

Tenuk and Retvik both nodded in agreement. Teekay sighed for a final time, then began to explain.

“Around the time I was laid, the N-Class were in charge and they put a lot of money towards experimental defence programs and contracts. Part of that was a secret super-soldier program, tested on unwanted Skyavok children. Sure, a lot of orphans ended up in K-Class anyway, but my egg was found and tested and put into this program. It… made me too intelligent and it sped up my ageing. I was an adult at the age of two years old. Physically. The mental development was a bit delayed, but at the age of 5, I was as intelligent as a normal adult Skyavok and I started working as a soldier, working my way up the ranks.

“Problem is, at the age of ten, I suddenly turned into a really horny teenager and I was desperate to have sex. Except I couldn’t because I was way, way below the age of consent, which was 18. But I was both desperate and an idiot and I somehow managed to convince someone called, ironically, Elkay, to go on more than one date with me. On the third date, we had a nice meal together and she invited me back to her place. We got to the front door of her apartment, but I lost all my nerves, told her that I didn’t feel right and ran home, on my own. Never saw her again. Made sure of it, because I requested a change in regiment and moved as far away as possible.

“After that, I swore off relationships completely. Then I got my job in security for the All-Ksa at the age of 21, when I was actually old enough to have relationships, but by then, I was so busy that I never got the chance to, until I was forced to retire.”

Teekay fell silent, expecting everyone to be stunned. Weirdly, though, he picked up a lot of sympathy from Akah.

“I understand that. You did the right thing, but it is a hard thing to get over, the negative thoughts and the guilt always linger. I’ve had… a similar experience myself.”

“How so?”

Akah clicked in annoyance and vague anger. “I don’t remember much of my past, but I do remember my first death. When I was first enslaved, I was sent to a breeding camp and refused to sleep with someone who was too young. We were dragged out into the middle of the camp, stripped naked then killed by firing squad. Woke up a few days later in a shallow grave with her corpse on top of me.”

“Holy fucking void…” Eksi didn’t mean to shout, but he did anyway. “That is way, way more fucked up than pretty much everyone else around here!”

“The Lanex were slaves, all the Nexian races were. That was commonplace for a lot of us, up until the Kronospasts realized they were killing us faster than we could reproduce. The Anexartitai didn’t care, they slaughtered the Allanex and the Glatoranex, and the Kronospasts didn’t realize what was going on until the Toanex went extinct and us Lanex were nearly wiped out as well.”

Eksi leaned forward, across the table. “Are you alright, Akah?”

“I’m alright, all things considered. I was lucky.”

“You don’t normally talk about this sort of thing though.”

Akah shrugged. “You’d be right, but I often just… need the right place to add my own experiences. Mostly because I have a spotty memory and am reminded of these things when others talk about their experiences.”

Eksi leaned forward some more and smiled. “What else can we do to make you talk more?”

“Little Eksi, where are you going with this?” Retvik interrupted. “If Akah does not want to talk, then you should not force him to.”

Akah though seemed to disagree. “I appreciate the defence, sir, but Eksi does have a point, I can be very cold, distant and secretive.”

“We just need to get you drunk!” Tenuk beamed. “Lanex get chatty when they’re drunk! Horny too.”

Akah raised a finger and turned to Tenuk. “How do you know so much about Nexian biology?”

“I’m a Kronospast. Worse, I was Kronospast royalty. I didn’t have Nexian slaves but pretty much everyone else did. Was pretty common to try and sleep with them too.”

“We’re going back to fucked up territories again!” Eksi shouted. “I forget how much of a cunt you Kronospasts were…” Eksi paused briefly, then apologized. “Sorry. I shouldn’t get funny. You literally betrayed your entire species.”

“Yeah, but it took me 900 years to work out that we were cunts…” Tenuk frowned, before perking up again. “Not that it matters. It’s all gone now. Either way, Teekay, we should totally have a Singles’ Party or a stag do or whatever for you. We’ll keep up your weird reversed gender traditions and have Elkay get drunk with Phovos and Elksia and whichever of you vagina-owning Threanics want to join them, the rest of us will get drunk together and we can all talk about our stupid dates. Retvik can tell us how he met Litvir, because I genuinely have no idea, despite having been right there when Arkay convinced Retvik to go on a date with Gath.”

“It is not a great stor-”

“Boss, cool it!” Teekay tutted. “Save the story for the Singles’ Party!”

Retvik grunted, then stood up. “Very well. I shall leave you all to it, I am going to check on Litvir.”

Everyone waved goodbye, and Retvik walked off. However, after a few seconds, Eksi rubbed his head and sighed.

“I’ll be back in a bit too. Just… gotta ask Retvik something…” Eksi muttered as he also got up and left.

He swiftly chased after Retvik, catching up to him just before he could reach the living areas. Now that Litvir could move his arms and was getting feeling back in his legs, he had been moved to his room, to make space for proper patients. That was where Retvik was going.

“Hey, uh, boss, can I have a quick word with you?” Eksi asked as he skidded to a halt. Retvik came to a stop as well.

“Of course, Eksi. Is something troubling you?”

Eksi nodded. “Yeah, actually. My randomly-knowing-bullshit powers are flaring up again. I’m picking up things from Litvir. You… You need to give him some space.”

Retvik blinked. “What do you mean?”

“You’re treating him like you treated Gath. Like Litvir is your husband. You’re looking at Teekay and Elkay and you want what they want. But Litvir isn’t ready for that yet. He’s still mourning Teekay, he’s still somewhat traumatized by being kidnapped and paralysed. You need to back off.”

Retvik crossed his arms and growled. “Why are you telling me what to do?”

“Because…” Eksi hesitated. “I care about Litvir. I mean, we all do, and you care about him the most. But, since I’m the Master Psion around here, I… I catch things that you can’t. Just… give Litvir a bit more space. He’s not like Gath, he prefers to have more boundaries.”

“Are you… implying something?”

Eksi nodded. “I am. Hold off on the whole asking-Litvir-to-marry you thing. Litvir loves you, but he’s not quite over his self-loathing yet. Also, let him take a nap. You have hot, sweaty hands and he needs a quick break from you and your permanent warmth.”

Retvik took a very long, deep, somewhat angry breath, but he eventually relented. “Very well. Thank you for the advice, little one.”

“You’re… not pissed off at me?”

“You overstepped your boundaries, but you did so for a good reason… I guess I will find something else to do for a bit…”

Eksi watched as Retvik wandered away, then frowned and headed back to the table where Teekay, Tenuk and Akah were waiting for him. He felt bad, but he didn’t want things to fall apart. Retvik would understand with time. And, hopefully, Litvir would understand and open up too.