Dinner with Death

Kohra sat quietly at the table, tapping his feet together. In front of him was a placemat, a knife and fork and a glass of water. At the other end of the table was an empty seat, its owner prancing around in the kitchen behind them.

“Are you sure that you just want water to drink?” Arkadin asked as he flipped something in a pan. “I have any drink you could desire. Well, within reason.”

“Water is fine…” Kohra shivered. There was a weird breeze blowing through, tickling his back. Arkadin picked up on this.

“You cold?”


“You don’t need to stay silent. If there’s something wrong, then tell me, don’t sit there and suffer!”

Kohra shrugged. “It’s just a breeze. I’m fine. What are you cooking?”

The Lord of Death mixed something into a frying pan. From where Kohra was sitting, he couldn’t see what Arkadin was cooking. Whatever it was, it smelled lovely, a mixture of sweet and sour at the same time.

Suddenly, the Lord of Death made some banging and clashing, before appearing next to Kohra. He delicately placed a plate in front of Kohra then sat down on the other end of the table.

Kohra glanced down, inspecting the food. The plate was split into three. Sweet potato mash and slices of what looked like very thick bacon on one third, a stir fry on one third with a side of honey carrots and a traditional mosphilo jelly on the last third, a popular dish for dieting Kronospasts.

“This is… Very impressive…” Kohra hesitated again. “Looks like a lot of work…”

Arkadin smiled as Kohra took his first bite. He decided to go with the thick bacon first, and was surprised by the sweet and salty taste of it.

“I’m not really sure about what Kronospasts eat. I know you require a lot of sugar but I’m not sure if that is all you eat. Hence the jelly!”

Kohra picked up a forkful of jelly and popped it into his mouth. It was incredibly sweet, just how Kohra liked it.

“I think you nailed this meal!” Kohra beamed. “But why do all this for me?”

Arkadin looked up, a piece of carrot sticking out of his mouth. “Do what for you?”

“Cook this splendid meal!” Kohra blinked. “I assume you don’t do this every night?”

“Do what every night?”

Kohra sighed. “Are you acting confused on purpose?”

Arkadin chewed on a piece of meat, then spooned mash into his mouth.

“Lord Arkadin?”

“Sorry, I’m a little distracted. I think a Vohra nest just got destroyed.” Arkadin put his cutlery down and tutted. “Fucking Kairos. Fuck him and fuck mum for making us do this shit… War is the last thing we all need…”

Kohra blinked. “You have a mum?”

The Lord of Death looked down, avoiding eye contact with the Kronospast.

“Lord Arkadin, have I upset you?”

“No. I’m not supposed to mention my mother.”

“You have one.”

“Well the four of us had to come from somewhere. We’re not allowed to say any more than that.”


“Because.” Arkadin grunted. Kohra knew not to push any further. Arkadin may have disliked his duties, but he was still the Lord of Death. “Just… Just don’t. Sorry. Things are weird. I have some mess to clean up.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Kohra asked.

“Oh no, don’t be silly!” Arkadin smiled weakly. “We’ll finish up here and sort ourselves out. That can all wait.”

Kohra took another bite of food. “This is lovely, you have a real talent for cooking.”

Arkadin continued to smile. “I do! Do you cook?”

“Never used to,” Kohra shrugged. “Always had staff cooking for me. But now I’m alone, I cook all the time. I also donate a lot of cakes to a nearby charity.”

“That’s awesome!” Arkadin seemed amused. “I should bake more cakes. They’re always fun to make.”

Kohra thought to himself for a moment, as Arkadin finished his food. “How about, next time I come here, we do some baking?”

“That, my little friend, is a brilliant idea!”