“Why are we all up and still drinking?” Elkay asked as he downed another mug of some sort of drink, he wasn’t sure. “The happy couple went to bed… uh… yesterday.”
Retvik, Arkay, Vick, Galyn and Vikalos all shrugged. Letharus and Litvir were very drunk, not paying attention and pulling funny faces at each other.
“We brought all this alcohol, we might as well drink it!” Vick smiled. “Admittedly, this bit feels like a more traditional Retha wedding where we all just get utterly plastered.”
“Well, we appreciate you bringing the good stuff!” Retvik also smiled. “We also appreciate your company. This whole wedding has been wonderful.”
“Oh, definitely! And it’s been wonderful leaving my bar for a bit. Fingers crossed it’s still there when I get back but, like, worst case scenario, I just get you other Retviks to fix it up again. Still, didn’t think you were all drinkers either. Kid, you’ve been chugging mead all evening and you’re completely unaffected.”
Vikalos nodded in agreement. “You’re equalling what I’ve been drinking!”
“You only seem slightly tipsy though!” Galyn slurred his words slightly. “Actually, Elkay, you don’t seem too drunk either.”
Elkay frowned. “I have not been drinking alcohol the entire time though. I actually do not normally drink much unless Teekay is around, Teekay gets drunk easily and stops rather quickly, and Teekay has gone to bed. I have only just switched to mead. Also, do we not, like, have stuff to do?”
Vikalos shrugged some more. “Things have been quiet anyway, due to the impending void storms. If anyone comes in, Kal will probably deal with them. But yes, Arkay, you have been drinking a lot and you’re perfectly sober!”
Arkay hesitated briefly, then decided to be honest. “That’s because I’m not actually digesting any of the alcohol I’m consuming. I’ve got a pseudo-stomach which contains everything and I can teleport the contents of it elsewhere.”
Galyn blinked at Arkay, then turned to Vick. “You are the same species as Arkay, yes?”
“Uh… kinda? I’m a standard-type, Arkay is a Threan-type… Or… well, he was… I definitely don’t have a pseudo-stomach. I just have a normal stomach and a normal liver. I think.”
Arkay shook his head. “It’s not a Threanic or Vokaic thing, it’s a me thing. I can take my pseudo-stomach out and show you, if you want.”
“You mean, actually take it out?” Vikalos asked.
“Yeah. My organs are conveniently removable and adjustable. Want to see?”
Arkay’s statement had grabbed everyone’s attention. And their curiosity.
“Will it hurt you?” Retvik asked. “Removing one’s stomach sounds… painful.”
“Not really. I can numb my own pain before I do it anyway…” Arkay trailed off, then opened his mouth and shoved his hand down his throat. After some awkward rummaging around, Arkay tugged at something and then pulled a large, liquid-filled fleshy sack out of his mouth and gently placed it on the table in front of him.
“Why… why did we all watch that?” Litvir stuttered, not sure whether he felt sick or not.
“Did that hurt?” Vikalos exclaimed. “And have you always been able to do that?”
Arkay nudged the pseudo-stomach slightly, so it didn’t tip over and spill its contents everywhere. “The being able to remove my organs thing is much more recent, ever since Epanophovon tortured me, I decided, should… that happen again, I ought to just make life easier for myself. But the fake stomach, I’ve had it ever since I was a puppy.”
“A… a puppy?” Vick looked particularly confused.
“Yeah. When I was remade into a deity in the universe after my mortal universe, I was, for some reason, wolf-like at first. I actually started off as some sort of armoured puppy. And Kairos, Epani and Sini weren’t very good at feeding me. In fact, they often tried to poison me, so I developed the fake stomach to cope.”
Everyone glanced around, having no idea how to respond to Arkay’s statements. Arkay frowned some more, then picked up his pseudo-stomach and put it back where it belonged.
“So… your godly siblings used to try and poison you?” Vikalos asked.
“Well, they’re step-siblings, but yeah. I was the evil death god, no one liked me, even when I was a cute, dumb puppy. I quickly adapted to protect myself. A second stomach to contain potential poisons before they hurt me was a pretty easy adaptation even when I was young.”
“Alright, so, follow-up question…” Elkay hesitated for a moment. “And probably the wrong question to ask considering what you just did… Can I do that?”
Arkay looked Elkay up and down, then shrugged. “Probably. You’ve grown different organs before. Being a more traditional hollow deity, Vikalos can probably do the same.”
Vikalos paused then nodded. “You are somewhat correct. My internal organs are mostly just tubes I hastily made to try and fit in. I don’t hold alcohol the way you do but I do filter it out somewhat quickly because I have a furnace for a stomach.”
“Is that why you are always so hot all the time?” Galyn asked.
“Mhm. Retvik probably has similar issues because he constantly generates heat. At the very least, Retvik burns off alcohol more quickly.”
“That is true!” Litvir laughed. “And Retvik burns other things too. Makes other things hot too. Like me.”
“And me!” Letharus also laughed. “In fact, Retvik and Vick could do some very warm things to us right now.”
“Bloody hell, you two are drunk!” Galyn tutted. “Maybe you two should go to bed.”
“Can we go to bed together?” Letharus asked. “I think both our Retviks are not ready for bed. But I want to squish into a bed with Litvir here. And snuggle, mostly.”
Retvik glanced at Vick. Vick glanced back at Retvik, then shrugged. “I suppose you two can go and warm the bed up for us. We’ll probably be another hour or so anyway.”
“Wonderful!” Litvir didn’t need telling twice. He grabbed Letharus and wobbly dragged him off through a shadow. Retvik glanced up to where the sleeping quarters were, and spotted the two Psions flumping onto the bed in Litvir’s bedroom through the still-open curtains.
“Alright, so, new question!” Vick smiled. “Arkay, how do we get you drunk?”
“You… want me to get drunk?”
“Yep. Do we need to have a drinking contest?”
“Uh…” Arkay hesitated. “Sure, we can have a drinking contest.”
“Alright!” Vick also got up. “Let me go and get the GOOD STUFF. Young hot tall Retvik, give me a hand.”
“If you say so, Vick…”