“So, what were you doing with Litvir and Eksi?”
Vikalos was currently lounging in a deck chair on the tiny little beach by the miniature lake on the Thantir’s new floating island home. In his hand was what looked like a cocktail but was in fact just beer in a colourful glass, with a paper umbrella sticking out of it for some reason. Elkay had wandered by, walking around, lost in thought, when Vikalos had spotted him and called him over.
“Uh…” Elkay stuttered, caught out by the sudden question. He had been feeling down for a while, and after a quick chat with Litvir and Retvik, they’d let him have twenty hours off. Really, Elkay felt bad about needing time off, he hadn’t really done much outside of guard duty, but he’d accidentally snapped at Tenuk about something minor (admittedly, Tenuk did deserve it) and it was recommended that Elkay take a short break.
“You can tell me.”
Vikalos was right. Elkay could tell him. Despite being a former god of hell and retribution and things like that, Vikalos was an amazingly nice, calm and friendly being who clearly had experience in treating mental illness. Elkay found it oddly amusing that three members of the Thantir were, at some point, licensed therapists. But what Elkay had been doing with Litvir and Eksi had been awkward.
“Uh… mental stuff.”
“Is that all?”
“Uh…”
With a smile, Vikalos opened up some sort of void pocket and pulled out a second deck chair, which he unfolded and placed down next to him. Weirdly, Vikalos seemed far, far more powerful than most other Decay Lords, to the point that other Decay Lords would occasionally call him ‘Lord Vikalos’. In fact, the ability to open up a ‘hammerspace’ was apparently pretty rare, to the point that it was mostly just a thing Life Goddesses did. Out of all the Decay Lords Elkay knew, the only other people he knew had their own void pockets were Phovos, who was a Life Goddess, Arkay, who was an Amalgam Mimic and could copy Life Goddess powers, and Elkay himself. And Elkay’s own hammerspace (which he’d learned to do about 40 hours ago) was about 50cm square, not even large enough to store a spare set of armour.
“Come, sit down. We ought to talk more anyway.”
Elkay did as he was told and sat down in the spare deck chair. Vikalos summoned a small, fiery portal, stuck his hand through then pulled out a bottle of water, which he handed to Elkay.
“So, what were you doing?”
Elkay sighed, and decided to be honest. Vikalos was smart. He’d coax the truth from Elkay one way or another.
“When I was treated for that stupid radioactive trigger and briefly fell into a coma, I discovered that I could somewhat astral-project to a strange, Mimics-only location. A place where Arkay also happened to be. I told Litvir this, and, the other, uh, day, we decided to experiment to see if I could go back to that place and see if Arkay was still there.”
“And was he?”
“Yes. But he was very, very sad.”
Vikalos tilted his head to one side, then frowned. “So is… is Arkay in some sort of coma or something currently?”
“Something like that, yes. I was hoping I could cheer him up while I was in that weird coma head space place, but he was utterly broken and under the impression that the multiverse would have been better off had he never existed.”
Elkay shifted awkwardly in his seat. Having had wings for most of his life, the simple act of sitting comfortably in a chair that required you to lean back had always been a bit annoying. Rethan furniture, back when Elkay was mortal, mostly consisted of padded stools because of their thick tails and heavy armour, but other races had much more varied seating arrangements. Sure, Elkay could have used his mimicking form-changing powers to essentially remove his wings, but that required effort.
“I will be blunt, a lot of death gods, ones who did not choose to become death gods, tend to feel like that. It is a huge burden, being the personification of something both terrible but required.”
“Required?”
Vikalos nodded. “Death and decay are required things. Not so much for intelligent life once it reaches a certain level, but you need some sort of decay for things to change, grow and get to that level in the first place. Arkay was mortal once, she… he is well aware of the blood on his hands, and that pain can become unbearable. It’s upsetting that he was dragged back into being a deity, because he was slowly getting better as a free being.”
Elkay nodded in agreement, then thought for a moment. “Why do you keep on calling Arkay a she?”
“Well, to be even more blunt, the last time I saw Arkay, he had breasts. In fact, he looked like an armoured version of Phovos, wore similar clothing and sometimes referred to himself as female, doubly so since he was briefly in a relationship with a singularly male former deity.”
“Who… who was this being?”
“I honestly don’t know. Arkay never mentioned his name, and when they fell apart, he refused to say why. I am certain he was ashamed when they broke up, and, the last time I saw Arkay before he was removed from my care, he admitted that he was angry and felt like he had wasted a year of his life on, and I quote, “an utter bastard”. He was secretive about the whole thing, almost as if he was ashamed.”
Elkay frowned slightly. “I… I can almost understand that. I felt ashamed at first when I fell in love with Teekay. I felt like a traitor to my kind because I loved someone who was not a Rethan, and, at the same time, part of that love felt forced because Teekay saved my life. Admittedly, I had been utterly abandoned, I was presumed dead and Retvik was the only person who knew I was alive for a while-”
“Wait, why did Retvik not tell everyone you were alive?” Vikalos interrupted.
“I, uh, apparently died multiple times. I was proclaimed dead when I exchanged my life for those of a million innocents on Vreka 1. When I escaped from Yisini’s horrible labs and returned to society, I fell ill with… something due to Yisini’s experimentation on me, and the ship I was on that was transporting me to a larger hospital crashed and I was presumed dead again. Apparently I did not die, I gained my horrible adaptation powers, lost all control, turned into a feral animal and was shot dead, but I remember none of that. I woke up in a hidden hospital where both Arkay and Teekay nursed me back to health, and he let me live with him after… something happened to the hospital and we had to leave…” Elkay frowned some more. “My memories of that time are spotty.”
“Teekay is a medic?”
“Teekay is a K-Class super soldier, trained in pretty much everything, including basic medical skills. He was forced to retire after a building fell on him and he broke both his legs. Arkay saved him, and Teekay offered to help Arkay for a bit as a thank you.”
Vikalos sighed. “Arkay has done a lot of good, considering he is a god of death. Most death gods would have left you to die. Or just flat out killed you.”
“He felt he was to blame, because his direct presence was the reason why I had to give myself to Yisini.”
“What do you mean?”
Elkay closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “For a very brief amount of time, about a month, Arkay would visit me in my private quarters for fifteen minutes, every two to five days. We would discuss what we did that day, and then he would leave. One time, he stayed the night and just sat at the end of my bed. A few days later, Yisini attacked both me, King Ver, All-Ksa Kayel and an entire Vrekan city, all because of those short interactions. Just to mess with Arkay’s head. I have no idea how many other beings were captured, tortured and killed because Arkay sought to be friendly with them.”
Vikalos didn’t respond at first. He remained silent for a good half a minute, then grunted loudly. “Well no fucking wonder he was in such a terrible mental state. And no wonder he had such troubles opening up and saying how he really felt.”
Elkay nodded in agreement. “He blames himself.”
“Of course he does. As far as Arkay is concerned, he is the common denominator for all these events, but in reality, he is surrounded by some awful beings who have abused him to the point that he has become subservient to them in order to escape further pain…” Vikalos trailed off. “How are you feeling though, Elkay?”
“Why are you bringing this back to me?” Elkay asked.
“I assume you feel you have a lot in common with Arkay. I mean, obviously you are both armoured beings and you are both Amalgam Mimics, but there is more to it than that. You are upset yourself.”
Elkay frowned some more. “I absolutely hate the term ‘mimic’. Suggests I am not my own being. But I do not know what to call myself. And in my brief conversations with Arkay, he both agrees and does not know what to call us either.”
“Fair. Still, you are clearly not right.”
“I just… I just feel helpless. I do not know if Arkay ever had romantic feelings for me, but I have had romantic feelings for him, and seeing him the way I saw him, it pains me that I cannot take away his pain.”
Vikalos looked Elkay up and down, then smiled. “You, dear, are one of the kindest souls I have ever met.”
“I guess…” Elkay continued to frown. “I feel awful when others feel awful and I cannot make them feel better.”
“You feel the same way Arkay did. All the time. Sure, Eksi does that as well, because of his auric telepathy, but Eksi has some selfishness that stops him going too far…” Vikalos trailed off again, then thought to himself. “Hm. Perhaps, rather than naming your… kind after your mimicking traits, I suggest you name yourself after your abundant empathy. Back in my old universe, our Goddess of love and kindness was called Ensynaisthysini. But, as is tradition with anything from my universe, we shortened that down. I suggest you call yourself a Synaisthyn. A being of care and kindness.”
“Hm… I… I actually do like that. I will discuss it with Arkay, if I get the chance to see or speak to him again.”
The ‘if’ in that sentence concerned Vikalos. He leaned forward somewhat. “What do you mean by that?”
“I do not know when or if Arkay will wake up from his coma…” Elkay explained. “He said that, if he does, it is likely he will lose his memories again. But at the same time, I… I need to wait a few days before I attempt to go into a coma again. It is awkward and nauseating and Litvir’s telepathy creeps me out because it is so foreign.”
Vikalos leaned back again. “Fair enough. I can’t comment there. Litvir does concern me a little, reminds me of the stories of Mindeater, a terribly powerful Psion that served the Overlord, a long time ago. Still, I have questioned you enough, is there anything you wish to talk about?”
Elkay thought for a moment, then shook his head. “I just wish to sit and listen to the waves.”
The elder Decay Lord smiled. “Very well, dear, that is what we shall do…”