Epani’s Little Desires

Arkadin was quite happily sweeping up the remains of a burnt forest when the sky above him went peculiarly dark. According to his universal clock, it wasn’t due to become night on this little, somewhat lifeless planet for a few more hours, so this was quite strange. There was no wildlife or anything nearby to hint that something was wrong. No singing birds, no chirping insects, nothing. Just ash and charcoal.

Not sure what to do, the Thantophor glanced up to where the sun should have been, only to find a very large being blocking the sun’s rays, highlighting the star’s beautiful corona. At first, Arkadin wasn’t sure what this being was, but as they fell closer towards Arkadin, he could make out various body parts. After a few moments, a very round, feminine form appeared directly in front of the Thantophor, a thick, finned tail hanging between the being’s legs and a long lure dangling off the being’s head.

“Oh, hi Epani, what’s with the new form?” Arkadin smiled, then paused. “And why do you look really upset? Did something happen?”

The Panelix, the Goddess of Space, sighed as she sat down on the dusty, ash-swept ground, crossing her legs and putting her head in her hands. Despite being sat on the ground, she still towered over Arkadin.

“You would not understand.”

“Well I can’t try and understand if you don’t tell me.”

“Even then…”

Arkadin shrugged then went back to sweeping. He was using high winds to scatter the ashes, which would eventually turn to mulch with the rain and mud, creating a fine fertilizer for a new forest some five to ten years from now.

“I will tell you…” Epani muttered.



The Panelix straightened herself out. She remained seated, but was leaning back and keeping her head high. Arkadin noticed that she was dressed, but barely so, thin wisps of fabric wrapped around her chubby, sensitive areas.

“You see, I am bothered by the goings on between Yisini and Kairos.”

“Oh, me too!” Arkadin tried to be friendly. Conversation between his older siblings was a bit of an awkward talking point for him currently. “They have far too much time on their hands. I don’t think they’ve even stopped yet…”

Epani tutted. “No, no, you… you do not understand… I… I am envious. I wish to join in with their fun and enjoyment yet here I am, as much an outsider as you are.”

Arkadin looked away, anywhere but at Epani, shuddering. The thought of the three beings he considered siblings doing… those things… That bothered him more than what Yisini and Kairos alone were doing. “I am really not the right person to be discussing this with.”

“That is why I said that you would not understand. Yet you wanted to ask.”

“True…” Arkadin admitted. “But have you tried just… telling them, rather than coming to me and complaining?”


“And why not?”

Epani sighed. “It is not something you can easily ask of someone else.”

“Yeah it is. If Yisini can come into my house and apologise and say to me that self-pleasure is fine, then you can go up to Yisini and Kairos and say you want some of the action.”

“But… what if they say no?”

Arkadin found himself laughing out loud. “Say no? Why the fuck would Yisini say no?”

“But Kairos…”

“Kairos is an alpha male, he’d never say no to a threesome with two beautiful goddesses, and Yisini is the goddess of hedonistic sex, there’s no reason they would say no!”

Epani sighed again. “So you think I should ask them?”

“Yes. As long as you stop asking ME about these things!”

The Panelix picked herself up, altering her appearance once more to make herself even more attractive and round. “Very well, you have convinced me. Wish me luck!”

With a snap of her webbed fingers, Epani was gone, leaving Arkadin alone in the burnt forest.

“You won’t need it…” the Thantophor rolled his eyes as he went back to work.