Feeling Amazing

“Good morning!”

“Hiya…”

Arkay twiddled his thumbs as he anxiously watched Vikalos struggle with a key and let himself in. This room in particular was rather… well-defended. Rubberized walls, sound-proof windows and an anti-energetic device which subconsciously blocked the ability to use any godly powers. Arkay wasn’t sure why he had been brought here, but he assumed it would be bad.

“How are you feeling, Arkay?” Vikalos gently asked, sitting down on the opposite side of the table. The Elder Decay Lord towered over Arkay, pretty much double his own height, and wearing a scarf and robes on top of his standard armour. But Vikalos’s tone and mannerisms were calm and gentle, perhaps even optimistic.

“I… don’t know how I feel. I guess I am a bit anxious.”

“Anxious about what?”

“This meeting, I guess…”

“Oh? Why is the meeting making you anxious? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Arkay shook his head. “No it’s just… new things make me scared. I don’t like change.”

“Hm…” Vikalos trailed off, going through some paperwork. “Aside from this meeting, how do you feel overall?”

“Uh… Better.”

“How much better?”

Arkay thought for a moment. “A… lot better, I guess. I don’t hear any more voices, I am no longer stress-eating and I actually woke up when my alarm clock went off this morning.”

“How do you feel compared to last week?”

“Much better…” Arkay hesitated some more. “Honestly, I feel like… like a cloud has lifted from me. I had no idea that the four tiny tablets you prescribed to me would do so much work. Even if it took a while for them to start.”

Vikalos smiled. “So you feel like you are making progress?”

“Yeah but not fast enough. That’s always what it is. I always feel like I am not doing enough, that I could be doing better.”

The Elder Decay Lord leaned to one side. “Have you stopped for a moment to congratulate yourself on your progress?”

“What… do you mean?” Arkay looked confused.

“Well, as an example, you want to be a 10/10. You want to be perfect. Right now though, you consider yourself to be a 6/10. Have you taken a moment to accept that you have reached that six so quickly?”

“Yeah but… I should be a ten.”

“Before you can be a ten, you will have to be a seven, an eight, a nine. Take one step at a time and you will get there eventually. But you must also accept that you already are amazing.”

“You think I…” Arkay stuttered, lowering his voice. “You think I am amazing?”

“Of course!” Vikalos beamed with pride. “Look how far you have come! The first few times we spoke, you were scared and crying. But you persevered and pushed onwards nonetheless!”

“But…”

“But what?”

“I feel like it’s not enough. That I am not enough.”

Vikalos continued to smile. “It is alright to feel like that sometimes. What matters though is what you do when those thoughts happen. Do you let it bring down your day, or do something small to feel better? Or even just accept that you are getting better…”

Arkay sank in his seat a little. Vikalos reached out to him, very gently touching his hand.

“Arkay, it is often hard for you to trust people. But I would like for you to put a tiny bit of trust in me and my belief that you are an amazing person. You have come a long way. You still have a path to travel on, but you are keeping up. No matter what existence has thrown at you, you are still here, trying to help yourself and be better. That alone makes you an amazing individual.”

“You mean that?” Arkay whispered.

“Of course I do. I have no reason to think otherwise.”

Arkay took a deep breath, relaxing slightly, just enough to straighten himself out. “Thank you, I appreciate that… It’s really hard accepting praise.”

“I know, Arkay. But, like I said, one step at a time. You are going to get through this.”

“Yeah, I guess I am…”