Mall Rambles with Eksi

“You know what? I’ve been a Phantai Decay Lord for like six year-strings, and this is my first time going to this space mall…”

Kaytee’s statement was met with a multitude of grunts as the Thantir filed through the mall entrance, each of them given a wristband as they did so.

“This mall has been here for as long as I have been a Decay Lord, and this is my first time visiting…” Itaviir grunted. “I will be blunt though, does anyone else feel… weird?”

“How weird, dear?” Vikalos asked.

“Like a weight has been lifted from my mind.”

Kaytee thought to himself, then nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Itaviir, you’re not alone there. I thought maybe I was just excited to leave, but my thoughts feel lighter too.”

“Oh, that’s just Psehon’s telepathic influence leaving you!” Eksi beamed. “You’re no longer under his weird telepathic anti-Voidborn projections, so, for you three former Phantai, your thoughts are actually clearer now!”

Itaviir and Kaytee both stared at Eksi. Itaviir then turned to Galyn.

“Why do you think I was so insistent you joined us last time we came here?” Galyn frowned. “You didn’t want to come and your mind got clouded again.”

“You’ll all feel even better once we’re completely out of the Goldtorn Remains!” Eksi continued to smile. “Psehon’s Mindblade butt-buddies unintentionally keep the field going because I know a bunch of them are stationed around here. There’s a guy called Thoughtblade on the roof of the mall right now who I just telepathically told to go and take a lunch break.”

“You terrify me…” Itaviir muttered, before turning back to Galyn and Vikalos. “Either way, I owe you two some lunch. Shall we?”

Eksi waved as the Tattered Navigators wandered off. Really, most of the Thantir had already wandered off. He found it amusing that the first thing all six of Kal did was head straight to the large DIY store. But what Eksi found more hilarious was how his fellow Decaylings had split up. Elksia and Phovos had dragged Elkay off to look at bridal wear, while Teekay, Tenuk and Akah were browsing for more practical wedding stuff. Tahvra had decided to follow Kal around, and Retvik and Litvir had gone to an information kiosk and seemed to be just chatting.

“So, what do you wanna do, Kaytee?” Eksi asked.

“You’re asking me?”

“Yeah. There ain’t much I’m planning to buy apart from chocolate. You though, we gotta get you some non-Phantai armour that’s also not the same as the stuff Teekay wears. I think white might be a good colour for you.”

“I guess, but I kinda just want to browse first, just look at all the shops. Also, I… kinda have a lot of questions to ask as well. Since I don’t know THAT much about my new sect.”

“Sure, but we ought to get going, there’s a lot of shops. And you got a lot of questions!”

Eksi took Kaytee’s hand and dragged him off. As they walked, Kaytee noticed that Retvik and Litvir were still just chatting with each other. The two Thantir leaders eventually moved on, heading up an escalator with their tails curled up together.

“Alright, fair. So, first question, why does Litvir have fangs when he and Retvik are both standard-type Retha, and are they, like, an actual, proper couple?”

“Well, yeah, why do you think Retvik lost it when Litvir ran away?” Eksi bounced briefly, before propelling himself forward with a hint of telepathy. Kaytee found he had to flap his wings and fly to catch up. “They fuck. More than the Great Blades do.”

“Wait, the Great Blades… uh…”

Eksi continued to smile as he pulled Kaytee into the first shop, which mostly just sold electronics. “They are, as Tenuk would say, gay as fuck. Well, Psehon and Telin are. Phos has mated with the weird female Beh’evok that kidnapped Galyn and Itaviir briefly so I guess technically he’s bi-sexual. Or is he pan-sexual? I need to ask Tenuk what the difference is.”

“I mean, like, 90% of the Phantai were male. It was literally just us six Loopblades and Glitterblade who had vaginas.”

Eksi paused. “Oh. So THAT’S what the codename of that weird Kronospast-like person Tenuk ran into was. He spent ages trying to find this Ahra person thinking she was the same species he was and he never found her.”

“As far as I’m aware, Glitterblade spent her entire time shapeshifted into a male anyway, and she was only in it to kill Voidborns because they killed her dad. I take it Tenuk isn’t a member of the Thantir for similar reasons?”

“Dude, six of the Thantir Eight are former Divine Guardians. Galyn kinda just insisted we all get properly trained into Decay Lords after our universe died because Kinisis was no longer around to boss her perfect representatives of each species around.”

Eksi grew bored of the electronics shop and swiftly dragged Kaytee into the next store, which seemed to be a basic food market.

“Hang on… perfect representatives?”

“Kinisis picked out twelve mortals, the best of each of her favourite species, and made them into her pets.”

Kaytee was more confused now. “But… there are three Standard-type Retha… Sorry, Rethavok.”

“Elkay’s the perfect one. Well, second perfect one. But Kinisis saw what Arkay did to her husband when he tried to kill Retvik once and knew better than to fuck around with Arkay’s friends until AFTER he was out of the way.”

“Huh… I still find it weird that your universe didn’t seem to have an Elkay-en Theanon-Photeianos as a Threan-type, instead he’s Elkay Theanon-Rethianos and he’s a standard-type related to a purity bloodline…” Kaytee fell silent, then decided to actually do some shopping. Both he and Eksi picked out some nice bars of chocolate, and Kaytee also grabbed himself a bottle of fizzy honey-water, his favourite drink. “Still… your universe doesn’t seem to have the other Retha sub-types outside of Threan and Standard, and they were two distinct species. Doesn’t explain why Litvir has fangs and shadow-traits. Back in my universe, that would have made him a Trehan-type. And Trehan-types were driven to extinction because they were child-sacrificing darkness worshippers who refused to join the rest of the society of the Retha.”

The two Decay Lords paid for their stuff and moved on to the next store.

“I’ll be blunt, that sounds like propaganda. But no, Litvir has weird powers because his mum was an evil cunt who did nothing but lay eggs and give them to evil scientists to experiment on to build his own personal army to overthrow the Rethan government.”

“Yeah but… he has fangs.”

“Mate, we have fangs. Not visible ones, but still.”

“I’m a Threan-type, you’re a Skyavok. That’s normal. Litvir has actual vampire fangs. Does he, like, suck blood?”

“No!” Eksi smiled a little less. “He doesn’t like to do it, but, well, Phovos, Galyn and Tahvra aren’t the only people capable of producing poisons and stuff. Litvir produces this terrifying paralytic venom that’s really fucking strong. Like, stronger than the stuff Galyn can make.”

Kaytee eyed Eksi suspiciously. “How do you know that?”

Eksi hesitated, then shrugged some more. “Well, before our universe blew up, Litvir, Elkay, Teekay and I, we had a weird and fun four-way relationship. After the universe blew up, we kinda stopped, but Litvir and I did play around a few times before he and Retvik got back together and I, uh, once accidentally caught my tongue on one of Litvir’s fangs while I was licking him. Couldn’t move my jaw for five hours and was too embarrassed to admit to Galyn why I suddenly couldn’t talk while he tried and failed to create an anti-venom.”

“And you… dude… you just admitted to me that you slept with Litvir. And you’ve slept with Elkay and Teekay too?”

“Teekay yes, Elkay no. Elkay said I reminded him too much of my mother. Because, for some retarded reason, my mum once tried to make a move on Elkay when he was High General and mum was trying to get the Skyavok to rejoin the Reth-Vrekan Union.”

“And… who was your mother?”

Eksi smiled again. “My mum was Kayel, All-Ksa of the Skyavok.”

“And who was your father? Was it the Dragon God of Time?”

That smile disappeared. “Uh, no. My dad was the badass disabled hero Veeyel, who ran into a burning hospital and saved my mum and about thirty other people, then got trapped under burning rubble and managed to pull himself free while also carrying a baby in his arms.”

“That is way more badass than a stupid dragon god.”

“Yeah. I… I kinda gave my parents a lot of crap, I was an annoying, edgy kid who ran off to Ξ-Class as soon as I could. Still kinda am an edgy kid. But I do love and miss my parents. I… I take it, like our Teekay, you don’t know your parents?”

“Unfortunately. Most Ksa didn’t, and those who did were stolen away from their parents or abandoned. My Eksi and his siblings all were stolen from their mum, and Elkay-En was destined to be a Ksa until he escaped, which is why he had a double-barreled surname, he was originally supposed to be an N-Class Ksa.”

How did your brothers feel about being Ksa? Were they as… accepting of it as you were?”

Kaytee went back to blinking in confusion and shock. “I… I… uh… what?”

“Your brothers. Enkay and Geekay… Oh… Sorry… I’m doing the thing again…” Eksi tutted to himself. “I fucking hate my stupid randomly-knowing-piss powers sometimes.”

“Is that how you know about the Great Blades sleeping with each other?” Kaytee asked.

“No, that was just my normal stupid telepathy. For some reason, on top of normal psionic powers, I just… randomly know things I have no way of actually knowing.

“Like… like what?”

“Like the fact that you have… had two brothers. That you worked alongside your entire life and never knew about. Also you and Enkay both fancied Geekay, who was apparently insanely attractive. But you had no idea, and pretty much every member of the K-Class Ksa felt the same way, so don’t feel bad…” Eksi trailed off, then rubbed his head. “Ugh. Now my brain hurts.”

Kaytee frowned some more. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, not your fault. I did it to myself…”

“Well… I know you have a headache now, instead of browsing the shops, do you want to go to the entertainment place upstairs? I think there’s a massage parlor or something.”

“That…” Eksi went back to smiling, and held out his hand. “That is an ingenious idea! Shall we?”

Kaytee hesitated.

“What?”

“It… feels wrong. You’re… not my Eksi.”

“Dude, yeah, I’m not. Unfortunately, your Eksi is, well, gone, or missing, or whatever. Doesn’t mean you can’t spend time with someone else who just also happens to be called Eksi. You’re allowed to move on.”

Kaytee hesitated some more, then relented and took Eksi’s hand. “You’re absolutely right. And, thanks to you Thantir, I can actually do that now.”

“You mean US Thantir.”

“Heh, yeah. Us Thantir… Come on, let’s go get you a head massage for your migraine. My treat.”